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Dating a (former) teacher

LOL.. omg..

treff

Would you consider dating someone who used to be your teacher? Like, if you've already finished school/uni, and your former teacher is only, say, six or so years older than you.

Thoughts, complications, etc.? :smile:

i don't know. I've never really fancied a teacher, i've never looked at them in that way.

Reply 42

treff

OP

1

Update: He asked to have lunch to catch up.

Hmm. Still unsure what to make of it.

Reply 43

Madelyn

13

what is it that concerns you about the relationship? Is it to do with authority - the fact that he certainly used to be in charge of you, or that teachers are supposed to be in loco parentis during schooltime? Or are you just not sure about what other people would say?

Reply 44

treff

OP

1

what is it that concerns you about the relationship? Is it to do with authority - the fact that he certainly used to be in charge of you, or that teachers are supposed to be in loco parentis during schooltime? Or are you just not sure about what other people would say?

Hmm. I guess a little of all those. Although he was the *cool teacher* type, he was still an authority figure for a year, and I first met him as such---so it's hard for me to forget the authority thing. So even if we're technically not student and teacher anymore, it's hard for me to get into my system that something like that won't be *illicit* anymore.

I can also imagine the kind of flak I'm gonna get if I go through with this--parents, for starters ("Mum, remember my teacher a few years back?"), friends (esp. those who were my classmates then--and a good number of them are still my close friends now), and general public (it might be considered as gossip/tabloidish material).

Sorry, this is doing my head in (just a little :biggrin:

)...

Reply 45

Madelyn

13

Try pursuing it, but take things slowly. If you get to know him a little outside school, then that should help dilute your perception of him as your teacher. Plus if you mention occasionally to parents/friends "oh, I'm having coffee with so and so, you know, he used to teach me" they should get more comfortable with you seeing him on a social basis, which will make things a bit easier later on.
As for the general public, screw 'em. Assuming you're not hugely famous or anything, it's unlikely that they/tabloids would care all that much, especially as he was only briefly your teacher several years ago - and presumably he's single and without any convictions for paedophilia.

Reply 46

embelina

1

i would date my old maths teacher...well, i would if he wasnt now my form tutor....or engaged....but, if i were to finish school and uni and then he asked me id say yeah, who cares if they used to teach ya, aslong as they are nice and friendly and dont start lecturing you outside of the classroom!

Reply 47

treff

OP

1

Madelyn

Try pursuing it, but take things slowly. If you get to know him a little outside school, then that should help dilute your perception of him as your teacher. Plus if you mention occasionally to parents/friends "oh, I'm having coffee with so and so, you know, he used to teach me" they should get more comfortable with you seeing him on a social basis, which will make things a bit easier later on.
As for the general public, screw 'em. Assuming you're not hugely famous or anything, it's unlikely that they/tabloids would care all that much, especially as he was only briefly your teacher several years ago - and presumably he's single and without any convictions for paedophilia.

Thanks for the advice! :smile:

You're probably right; I guess it's just a matter of getting friends and family (not to mention myself! :biggrin:

) *used* to the idea.

Lol--I'm not hugely famous or anything, and my former teacher is single and conviction-free. :p:

I was (and probably still am :biggrin:

) just wary of becoming a topic of conversations among social circles I'm familiar with or will be familiar with (i.e. relatives, friends, acquaintances, schoolmates, people at uni, etc). But yeah, it shouldn't be such a big deal. :smile:

Reply 48

treff

OP

1

embelina

...aslong as they are nice and friendly and dont start lecturing you outside of the classroom!

Lol

Reply 49

steveg

Hi,
I'm making a documentary film about pupil-teacher relationships which will address exactly these sorts of questions ie. can it ever be morally or ethically right for a teacher to have a relationship with a pupil, even if it is 'consenting'?

I'm looking for people to contribute to the film - which will be shown on C4 early next year. If you've had experiences like these or can talk about ever having had a crush on a teacher I'd like to hear from you. You can post here or directly to:
[email protected] or call: 0207 290 0665. All responses are dealt with in complete confidence. Thanks.

Reply 50

Amzybaby24

1

I could easily , i mean the age thing does not bother me, my favourite relatinoship was with a 28year odl, 11yrs my senoir, we jsut got along better etc.
I have a flirtacious anture anyways and yes this does come across with teachers, one imparticular!

Dating a (former) teacher

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