[HappinessHappening]

Can someone please help me with something? I don't understand why some gay men are effeminate while others aren't. Also, why do some gay people only become effeminate after they have come out of the closet? Can you tell if a child is going to be gay? Do they display these characteristics from an early age? Are the majority of gay men camp and effeminate?

One thing I really don't undertsand: if gay people are attracted to men, why would they act like a girl? Surely that would be actively unattractive to a gay man who is attracted to men? I mean, straight guys aren't exactly going to be attracted to butch, masculine girls (usually). Why is it the other way around for many gay people?

Help me out here!

[DayneD89]

tbh I cant think of any gay or bi people I know who are effeminate.

[extn]

Originally Posted by DayneD89

tbh I cant think of any gay or bi people I know who are effeminate.

Ever been to a Gay bar?

[HappinessHappening]

Originally Posted by DayneD89

tbh I cant think of any gay or bi people I know who are effeminate.

Why is it that people have this impression then? Just because they stand out more?

[EierVonSatan]

Certainly not most, some are though.

[DayneD89]

Originally Posted by HappinessHappening

Why is it that people have this impression then? Just because they stand out more?

Actually yer, I can think of one gay person I know like that. I think they do just stand out more.

[DayneD89]

Originally Posted by extn

Ever been to a Gay bar?

Indeed I have, and rarely have I met anyone too effeminate there.

[extn]

Originally Posted by DayneD89

Indeed I have, and rarely have I met anyone too effeminate there.

I have met plenty of effeminate gay people, though the converse is also true, I have met plenty of 'normal' gay people, as it were.

[Hylean]

Dude, it's just cause they stand out more. Besides, there's a lot more to the gay scene than the effeminate ones.

Anyway, I think it's because most people can "spot" a "gay" if they act effeminately and so people automatically assume they are the most common. They're not, though. Most of them tend to be Queens, who are a minority, and whatnot. Most of the gays I know, however, are just normal people and you wouldn't really be able to guess.

Plus male homosexuality has been linked to the an overactive female fertility gene, so that might explain it. Too much oestrogen? Who knows. It's just how they are.

[generalebriety]

Originally Posted by HappinessHappening

I don't understand why some gay men are effeminate while others aren't.

I find people who act overly effeminate annoying whether they're gay or not. I'm gay and relatively "straight-acting".

Originally Posted by HappinessHappening

Also, why do some gay people only become effeminate after they have come out of the closet?

Either because they want to show off that they're gay and proud of it, or because they're naturally camp and just repressed it before coming out.

Originally Posted by HappinessHappening

Can you tell if a child is going to be gay? Do they display these characteristics from an early age?

No, some don't display it at all.

Originally Posted by HappinessHappening

Are the majority of gay men camp and effeminate?

Who knows? Statistics won't tell us for a while yet, there's still a lot of people who never come out. The camp ones just stick out like a sore thumb.

Originally Posted by HappinessHappening

One thing I really don't undertsand: if gay people are attracted to men, why would they act like a girl? Surely that would be actively unattractive to a gay man who is attracted to men?

It is horrendously unattractive.

[HappinessHappening]

Originally Posted by generalebriety

I find people who act overly effeminate annoying whether they're gay or not. I'm gay and relatively "straight-acting".


Either because they want to show off that they're gay and proud of it, or because they're naturally camp and just repressed it before coming out.


No, some don't display it at all.


Who knows? Statistics won't tell us for a while yet, there's still a lot of people who never come out. The camp ones just stick out like a sore thumb.


It is horrendously unattractive.

Thanks!

[kmcassley]

a gay friend of mine told me he thought when he came out that he had to act effeminate because that was the stereotype. it took him a while to realise that he was only acting like that because he thought he had to. he said it was like being with girls before he came out because thats what everyone was doing. again, he thought he had too.

[Xenopus]

It depends how many gay genes they've got. There are two gay genes, one to make people gay, and another to make them camp. If they have got both then they are gay and camp. If they just have the gay gene then they won't be as easy to spot. If they just have the camp gene then they will be normal, as the camp gene needs the gay gene to activate it.
/just made most of that up, but it could be true. There is a gay gene in flies.

[Vicious Fishes]

I think that being gay is completely out of your control, but being camp is completely in your control, and I can't stand effeminate/camp men. It's just too in your face, like they're trying to make a point or something.

[Norfolkadam]

I'm gay and I'm as normal as can be really. I'm not at all affeminate and neither is my boyfriend and I am really fed up with the illusion that all gay men are camp because in my experience it is the vocal and irritating minority that are camp not the vast and normal majority.

[HappinessHappening]

Originally Posted by Norfolkadam

I'm gay and I'm as normal as can be really. I'm not at all affeminate and neither is my boyfriend and I am really fed up with the illusion that all gay men are camp because in my experience it is the vocal and irritating minority that are camp not the vast and normal majority.

Yeah, I can imagine that being really frustrating.