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Muslim girl + sex before marriage = no go?

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    I come from a muslim family, so sex before marriage is a huge no go area. However, I've always felt that if I was in a commited relationship with a guy I personally feel like I don't see the harm in having sex with him. I'm currently 16 and am planning on holding on to my virginity for atleast a while yet, but for me, waiting until after marriage is a bit much. I guess I don't know why I just posted this, to rant I guess.
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    (Original post by Rainbow-Dream)
    I come from a muslim family, so sex before marriage is a huge no go area. However, I've always felt that if I was in a commited relationship with a guy I personally feel like I don't see the harm in having sex with him. I'm currently 16 and am planning on holding on to my virginity for atleast a while yet, but for me, waiting until after marriage is a bit much. I guess I don't know why I just posted this, to rant I guess.
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    WHERE DO YOU LIVE? ARE YOU LEGAL THERE?
    :eek:
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    (Original post by Rainbow-Dream)
    I come from a muslim family, so sex before marriage is a huge no go area. However, I've always felt that if I was in a commited relationship with a guy I personally feel like I don't see the harm in having sex with him. I'm currently 16 and am planning on holding on to my virginity for atleast a while yet, but for me, waiting until after marriage is a bit much. I guess I don't know why I just posted this, to rant I guess.
    *Please quote when you reply as I'll notice the post more easily
    Thats your choice then! Your family don't even have to know about it.
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    Lol it's haram - but what are you asking?

    I can't tell you if it's a no go or not. Your religion, your body, your family, your boyfriend, your husband, most importantly -- your life.

    I think you should weight up pros and cons tbh; I come from a liberal family, no one cares, so there's no consequences for me for having sex. For you however... do you want a Muslim husband? I'm guessing yes - then how can you not be a virgin when you marry? Likewise, if you don't want a Muslim husband...are you going to sacrifice your whole family?

    There's barrrre questions to consider here.
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    (Original post by Rainbow-Dream)
    I come from a muslim family, so sex before marriage is a huge no go area. However, I've always felt that if I was in a commited relationship with a guy I personally feel like I don't see the harm in having sex with him. I'm currently 16 and am planning on holding on to my virginity for atleast a while yet, but for me, waiting until after marriage is a bit much. I guess I don't know why I just posted this, to rant I guess.
    *Please quote when you reply as I'll notice the post more easily
    er 'sister' it's not about your family, it's about you and what they think is out the question. BUT God will be your ultimate judge and since it's forbidden it'll be a sin and is wrong. Ask why...maybe there are some consequences...do some research....not TSR..please...
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    Btw; I don't think God will punish you.
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    If you're living in Saudi I would fear for your life

    Kidding. You should do whatever feels right. I don't think religion should play a part if you don't feel religious.
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    (Original post by Bubbles*de*Milo)
    Lol it's haram - but what are you asking?

    I can't tell you if it's a no go or not. Your religion, your body, your family, your boyfriend, your husband, most importantly -- your life.

    I think you should weight up pros and cons tbh; I come from a liberal family, no one cares, so there's no consequences for me for having sex. For you however... do you want a Muslim husband? I'm guessing yes - then how can you not be a virgin when you marry? Likewise, if you don't want a Muslim husband...are you going to sacrifice your whole family?

    There's barrrre questions to consider here.
    Sums up pretty much everything i was going to say
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    (Original post by Rainbow-Dream)
    I come from a muslim family, so sex before marriage is a huge no go area. However, I've always felt that if I was in a commited relationship with a guy I personally feel like I don't see the harm in having sex with him. I'm currently 16 and am planning on holding on to my virginity for atleast a while yet, but for me, waiting until after marriage is a bit much. I guess I don't know why I just posted this, to rant I guess.
    *Please quote when you reply as I'll notice the post more easily
    Well judging from this you aren't as Muslim as you think :P That being said, I'm also 16 and holding my virginity for atleast a while yet.
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    I know many muslim girl here from Iran and Turkey lose their virginity before marriage, even they wear hijab and done the night standing There's nothing wrong with them

    It's your damn right to choose, not ur family's right, nor religion, lol
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    me personlly think u aint even a muslim!! why ask questions like tht when u KNOW for a fact its not allowed and ur going against it!! puts in to question ur religion dont u think sweetcheeks? and yeh i guess sex before marriage is a big issue. i wouldnt want my wife to have been digged in by some other guy ..eeeew..so think about it and the future mainly and its just not a matter of a few minutes of pleasure..its a whole lot more than that
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    (Original post by suraja)
    I know many muslim girl here from Iran and Turkey lose their virginity before marriage, even they wear hijab and done the night standing There's nothing wrong with them

    It's your damn right to choose, not ur family's right, nor religion, lol


    16...god
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    (Original post by Rainbow-Dream)
    I come from a muslim family, so sex before marriage is a huge no go area. However, I've always felt that if I was in a commited relationship with a guy I personally feel like I don't see the harm in having sex with him. I'm currently 16 and am planning on holding on to my virginity for atleast a while yet, but for me, waiting until after marriage is a bit much. I guess I don't know why I just posted this, to rant I guess.
    *Please quote when you reply as I'll notice the post more easily
    I always thought younger then 18 is abit too young. but its your call, I am not here to judge people for what they do.
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    Hye.. firstly its a major sin in Islam, PERIOD! A sin for which you shall be lashed in the Hereafter, so please dont go ahead! secondly, dont put your entire life at stake for the pleasure of a few minutes! yes i understand its difficult to wait but there are a lot more ways to express love and enjoy life..
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    (Original post by rizzl8)
    16...god
    why you getting on the hype with her age??? I've known of many Muslim people have sex before marriage and wayyyyy before the age of 16 - and then they act as if nothing happened and their good Muslims - Unfortunately its something which is quite common and usually people who you least expect
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    (Original post by Rainbow-Dream)
    I come from a muslim family, so sex before marriage is a huge no go area. However, I've always felt that if I was in a commited relationship with a guy I personally feel like I don't see the harm in having sex with him. I'm currently 16 and am planning on holding on to my virginity for atleast a while yet, but for me, waiting until after marriage is a bit much. I guess I don't know why I just posted this, to rant I guess.
    *Please quote when you reply as I'll notice the post more easily
    Well its not allowed in Islam - but its your decision

    For heaven sake don't loose it with a prat make sure the person is decent and will treat you right and won't tell your whole college and his mates

    because it will get out and reach your parents and your going to be in a whole load of shizzle - and it does end up being really bad for the girl whilst the guy gets a likkle slap

    how do i know??? seen it happen many times
    #1

    ALthough i love my boyfriend very much and it's been almost a year we're together, i'm still not sure wether i would have been happier if i never lost my virginity. Growing up with 2 older brothers i could see the differences put between me & them. My parents would allow them to go out a lot more than me, they went to boarding school abroad(we were born and raised in europe anyway but they went abroad anyway), they were allowed to talk about having girlfriends. While i was the little precious girl that was "innocent." Of course i would always question all these things and my mom would be very nice about it and try to explain to me. But i was never satisfied with the answers but what could i do. My parents trusted me so much by sending me (finally) abroad for uni and i feel like i have betrayed their trust by having sex. The guilty feeling in me is absolutely awful and i think you should really think about that. Because no matter what, you're always going to have those conscious/or unconscious values you've been taught. I think the biggest problem for me, any many other muslim girls is that sex is never talked about. It's just one of those "silent" rules where you don't mention it, EVER. it's shameful. If i had been taught about it i think i would have kept my virginity just like my parents wanted it....and the point is not to do what your parents want but especially in islamic circles i think the emphasis on respecting your parents upbringings and applying the values they have tried to raise you with is essential. If you don't, you might have to live with a sense of guilt...So I'm rather confused. Im still trying to decide wether i had sex because i wanted to or it was merely a rebellious act. One thing i can tell you is that i am so sick of people judging girls when in fact its all the parents' fault for the wrong upbringing. Double standards, hypocrites, its disgusting....
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    Living in Kuwait, I know tons of girls that have lost their virginity...around 16-17.
    It depends on how close you are with the guy...

    The main question is how religious are you?
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    I must say that, you have a wrong religion, lol
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    Try to find out the reason why your parents want you to not have sex until you are married. If you understand the reason it's easier to make a good choice than if you just follow or disobey "a rule". There's a reason why you should not have sex before you are married. You should stay a virgin for your own sake for that reason, not to please your parents. I think that if you can't find that reason it will be difficult for you to not have sex before you marry even if you want to wait.
Updated: February 6, 2011
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