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Our parents don't let us sleep in the same room together

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    (Original post by veronica111)
    I've been with my boyfriend for about 7 and a bit months, we're both 16, but neither of our parents let us sleep in the same bed together. It's really bugging me, is it wrong for us to sleep in the same bed together? I mean it doesn't seem it, 4 of my best friends all have boyfriends and they've been sleeping in the same bed/room together for agess!!! It's so irritating, so do you think my parents should let me? If you do, how do you think I could convince my parents, lol

    And, when my 18 year old brother was my age, he always had his girlfriend stay over, my parents even let her come on holiday with us and stay in the same room as my brother, so why am I treated any differently? :mad:
    Pregnancy, pregnancy, the risks all girls have.

    Lol, I wouldn't I don't want to get pregnant like the 8 girls on my facebook. :p: I don't think so personally...

    Yeah, it's unfair your parents thought it was ok for another girl to get pregnant. How selfish.
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    Most parents are like that, it is annoying, but youl get over it
    I wont be like it with my children, will you?
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    (Original post by Phugoid)
    In my opinion, your parents are being foolish, and unless you're extremely immature, they're completely unjustified.
    Sex has nothing to do with maturity. A 12 year old girl with teddy bears in her room could have sex (though not by law)

    Nowadays it's a more pleasurable activity and shouldn't be confused with maturity unless you plan to have a baby... in which case you should be mature...
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    I don't understand the people in here who seem quite disgusted and shocked at the prospect of 16 year olds sleeping in the same bed. My ex and me would always share a bed when we were 16, which my mother had no problem with - then again, she's pretty open about sex which obviously going to be the reason why they don't want you sharing a bed. Honestly, as much as parents may sneer at the concept of sex, at the age of 16 I would say you're old enough to decide you're ready for it, it's legal, and hey.. it's sodding fun, so why the hell not? As for pregnancy, I would assume you're sensible enough to use some form of contraception, making the problem (almost) void.

    I have no idea how you can convince your parents I'm afraid, but I very disagree with their opinion and questionable logic..
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    (Original post by Gemma16)
    Most parents are like that, it is annoying, but youl get over it
    I wont be like it with my children
    , will you?
    Well, you never know how you feel until it happens! :eek: :p:
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    you cannot expect your parents to let you sleep in the same bed. Some parents do, but alot don't which is NORMAL.
    Dont whine about it. 16 is still young
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    (Original post by PeterR)
    Your brother was 18, you're 16. No offence, but you sound like a ****.

    No, I said he's 18 now, but when he was 16 years old he was allowed his girlfriend to stay over in his room
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    (Original post by jennikay)
    I used to really want to sleep in the same bed as my boyfriend, then the novelty wore off and we actually prefer sleeping in separate beds :rolleyes:
    Talk about a kick in the nuts! :cool:
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    (Original post by Cicerao)
    You completely misinterpreted her post. She was saying rape and murder etc are illegal which is why the homeowner isn't justified in doing those things. Preventing minors having sex isn't illegal so the homeowner is justified. Or could be justified.
    And that, too, is fallacious. Legality does not equate to justification.

    It's legal for me to decide that I despise a man I've never met. Is it justified? Absolutely not.

    Similarly, it's legal for parents to decide that they don't want their children having sex in their house, as a preventative measure with regards to pregnancy, etc. Is it justified? No. Because not only is there no reason to suggest that a 16 year old isn't mature enough to do everything she can to avoid pregnancy on her own terms, the preventative measure isn't preventative at all. Sex isn't confined to the bedroom, so if you think that you will prevent pregnancy by putting a stop to sex in the bedroom, you are mistaken, and your claim that it is an adequate measure is not justified.

    And, btw, preventing minors from having sex isn't illegal, but the OP is not a minor and neither is her boyfriend. It might still not be illegal to stop two non-minors from having sex, but surely to **** it's unethical to meddle in the private sex life of a legally permitted person without justification?
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    I think that's what they call sexism, my girl. You may as well get used to it young. :puppyeyes:

    Anyway, I don't agree with the treat-children-like-aliens/criminals school of parenting myself, which seems to be rather popular, but there's not a lot that can be done about it (for now), I'm afraid. You'll just have to have sex on the sly -- however, I'm told, on the positive side of things, that secrecy and furtive romance can be quite the turn on!

    On a political note, Dubbya Bush's abstinence education in the US actually increased the subsequent prevalence of STIs and pregancies amongst participants. What a cock. :rofl:
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    (Original post by emmie19)
    Sex has nothing to do with maturity. A 12 year old girl with teddy bears in her room could have sex (though not by law)

    Nowadays it's a more pleasurable activity and shouldn't be confused with maturity unless you plan to have a baby... in which case you should be mature...
    This is true to a certain extent but it excludes certain issues.

    I agree that maturity is not a necessary prerequisite to having the right to have sex. But from the parent's point of view, I can see why they would be concerned that their daughter was having sex if she was not mature. You said that you only need to be mature if you plan to have a baby through sex, but if you aren't mature, how likely is it that you'll be serious in your attempts to prevent pregnancy? Not very. So having a baby through immaturity and sex is quite a likely outcome, and since the person having the sex isn't themselves mature enough to take measure against it, I can see how it can be justified in this instance for there to be an intervention.

    Also, if your daughter is not mature, she is also more vulnerable to use and abuse by her partner than she would be if she was a bit more savvy.

    I think parental intervention can be justified in situations where it can be shown that their child is far too immature to deal with the possibility of pregnancy, STDs, or use and abuse.

    However, I can't stress enough that, even if this is the case, banning sex from the house is not a viable intervention. It simply does not work. All it does it make the sex less accessible, and hence more desirable. It also makes it more dangerous (since they'll be seeking out love shacks which add to the thrill) which again, make it more desirable. If you think that banning sex from your house will reduce the risk of pregnancy, STDs, or use and abuse, you are sadly mistaken. Quite the opposite effect is what occurs.
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    (Original post by Cicerao)
    In b4, "it's their house, their rules". :awesome:
    this.
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    (Original post by carmcarm)
    I think you're ranting for the sake of ranting
    I assure you that I take not pleasure in having to make repetitive statements over and over in some pissy thread on TSR.

    I'm ranting for the sake of attempting to convince others to be rational in their discourse in this particular matter.
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    I had my best friend sleepover when I was 15.... obviously my parents weren't as strict about boy/girl sleepovers.
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    (Original post by Kelly^2)
    Why would it be weird if your boyfriend of nearly 2 years slept in your room?!
    Because first of all I have a single bed. Secondly I share my room with my sister. Thirdly, I live with my boyfirned, I see ihm 24/7 so i don't have to have him sleep in my small bed when I know it makes my mother VERY uncomfortable...It'd be too weird, she'd be so weird about it, i dont even know if she'd allow me! haha
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    (Original post by lieux)
    I think any 16 year old is too young to be sleeping in the same bed as their bf/gf
    i agree tbh. it's not fair that the OPs bro at 16 got to have his gf round but OP can't but generally i wouldn't be happy to have 16 yo's sleeping in the same room together - sorry!
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    (Original post by Kelly^2)
    Why would it be weird if your boyfriend of nearly 2 years slept in your room?!
    I jsut realised this thread is about room not bed!! hahahaha

    Yeah my mum would be fine with in teh same room lol
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    In response to this thread. Me and my girlfriend are not allowed to sleep over each others houses however my mum happily distributes alcohol to my sister.

    So therefore she is saying she would rather have my sister get drunk, have sex with someone whom she doesn't know, get in trouble with the police and/or end up in hospital.

    Yet she won't let my girlfriend of 1 and a half years sleep safely in my bedroom.

    :eek3:
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    im 18 and my mum still doesnt let me sleep in the same room as my gf. i usually sneak down into the room shes in or she sneaks up into the room im in when my mum goes to bed. :ninja:
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    Think yourself lucky OP, been with my partner for 20 months, both of us are 18 and we have never slept in the same bed (or room at night) together, and not likely to for a while.

    Tbh if your let too stay in each others bed, things can happen, you can fall pregnant and at 16, its a little too young.

    Just wait and see, you will in time

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Updated: June 1, 2012
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