PhugoidFirst of all, I didn't say the parents had to encourage it or make it clear that they are happy with it. But unless they have a rational justification, they cannot expect their children to respect their rules.
If I have a daughter, I will more than likely shudder to imagine her having sex with some boyfriend at 16 years old. But her sex life is her sex life, it's nothing to do with me. I don't have to know if it's happening, I don't have to know when it's happening, I don't have to approve of it, I don't have to acknowledge it, I don't have to encourage it, and I don't have to make myself clear that I'm happy about it. I should have absolutely no involvement in it whatsoever, because it's nothing to do with me. Naturally, I won't like the idea, but rationally, I refuse to object, because I'd have no rational justification to do so.
I share a bed with my partner quite a lot, and whilst sex is a major part of our life, it's not uncommon for us to go to sleep together without sex in the same bed. That intimacy that comes from simply sleeping in the same bed is enough to strengthen a relationship by vast amounts.
Further to that, the excuse that 'there's plenty of time for that when you're older' is ridiculous. If she was 14, her parents would tell her 'nah, not until you're 16'. Then she turns 16, and they come out with 'plenty of time when you're older'. Well this, again, has no rational basis. It's nothing but an excuse for unwitting parents to keep the minds at peace, happy in the knowledge that their natural urges to protect their child do not yet need to be exercised. It's quite frankly pathetic.
Now, I'm not 16, I'm almost 20, and my girlfriend and I have been going out for quite some time now. I didn't lose my virginity until 18, and it was with her. I was quite frankly not interested in sex until I was in a relationship with somebody I really liked, and when that happened, I went ahead with it. Now, I don't really give a **** that this happened at 18. If it had happened at 20, 16, or 14, it would have made no difference to me. The fact of the matter is that I, since the age of about 14, have been mature enough for a sexual relationship, and savvy enough to take precautions against accidents. If I had met my girlfriend at 14, I would have felt the same way about her that I did when I met her at 18, and I would have been equally as mature and ready for a sexual relationship with her. Sure, I 'could wait', and 'there was no rush', but so what? Why should I wait? I've found a girl I truly like, and who truly likes me, we're both ready for sex, and we're mature enough to take appropriate precautions... what possible reason is there for delaying it? NO REASON WHATSOEVER, THAT'S WHAT. That's why I had sex when I did, and that's why the OP should have sex if she wants.
Then again, the OP never mentioned sex, she only mentioned sleeping in the same bed together... my girlfriend and I did that for a while before having sex, and that too was something we were both ready for, something meaningful for our relationship, and something that there was absolutely no conceivable reason to delay.
Without a reason to delay, do not delay. And the 'reasons' her parents have given are simply not good enough reasons to delay.