How to cope with a Break up

TSR Wiki > Life > Health and Relationships > Relationships > How to cope with a Break up

Experiencing a break-up is something that most of us have to go through at some point. You could have been with your partner for a short period of time or a long time but when it happens it is never easy. Whether you are the person who initiated the break up or whether it took you by surprise this article will give you some useful advice to help you through this difficult time.

The immediate aftermath

There is no set way to deal with the immediate aftermath of a break up; it's a time where you should do what you want really. At this time you will probably be feeling down and quite vulnerable so whether you feel like sitting in your room eating ice cream and crying or taking on a project to take your mind of things then just do what you can to keep your mood up.

Your friends are a valuable resource at this time, not only can they help you by taking your mind off your ex they can be there to listen to your talk if that is what you need to do. Supporting people through difficult times is what friends do so don’t be afraid to talk to them.

Reflection

Once you have dealt with the immediate aftermath of the break up it might be worth spending some time thinking and looking back at your relationship and what happened. As painful as it may be thinking about why the last relationship didn’t work can be very useful for your own peace of mind and for future relationships. This isn’t necessarily about placing blame but rather looking into the contributing factors and things that you can watch out for in the future.

Have some time apart

This might not be a problem if the break up was a bad one and right now the last thing you want to do is see your ex. However even if you and your ex have decided that you would like to try and be friends it is still important that you take some time to allow emotions to die down. The amount of time that you stay apart is completely up to you but try to leave it until you can talk without any ulterior motive on your part. The most important thing is that you don’t kiss or sleep with your ex. This might sound obvious but it can drag up feelings which won’t help you get over your ex.

Take some time

It can be tempting to rush into a new relationship immediately, especially if you are just coming out of a long relationship. Rushing into a new relationship when you haven’t got over your ex will mean that you won’t be able to fully put yourself into the new relationship. You may also find yourself forming a relationship with someone that you previously wouldn’t have considered, which can only lead to regrets later. It is important that you wait until you are ready and able to trust your opinion on when this is. --

Go out… have fun

It may sound clichéd, but once you are over the initial shock of it you should try hanging out with your friends, go out and enjoy yourself. This might be the worst thing that you can imagine but it could cheer you up. Staying at home may be contributing to how you are feeling. This doesn’t necessarily mean that you should go out clubbing or drinking, but just spending time with your friends can really help. --

If you aren’t coping

Sometimes a break up can hit you really hard and you can find that you aren’t coping. It is this stage where it is important that you talk to someone about it. This can take the form of just talking to a friend or maybe a councilor associated with your school or university. If these aren’t really options the Samaritans are always available for you to call 24 hours a day.

Useful Links

Samaritans

Supportline

TSR's Health and Relationship forum here you can post any questions that you might have anonymously if need be.