Biomedical sciences degree personal statement example (1n) with review and advice

This is a real personal statement written by a student for their university application. It might help you decide what to include in your own. There are lots more examples in our collection of sample personal statements. 

 

I have always been interested in Biology and Chemistry. I find them stimulating and challenging subjects, and over the years of studying them both, my interest in them has increased. This is why studying biomedical sciences at university is an ideal choice for me

This year, whilst studying for my AS level subjects, I attended a Biology Conference at Westminster Centre Hall to increase my understanding of today's biological world. There were a variety of speakers; I was particularly fascinated by Professor Lord Robert Winston's lecture on infertility and IVF, the concepts of it, and the morality behind reproductive manipulation, which also discussed how acceptable it is to interfere with human reproduction just because the technology to do so exists. Another lecture I found captivating was by Professor Gordon McVie, on cancer cells, which illustrated what happens to cells to cause them to develop into tumours. I enhanced my knowledge about these subjects from the magazine 'Biological Sciences', which includes articles from various professors and doctors. Over the past year this magazine has stimulated my interest in biology and medicine. By reading it I have increased my understanding of the influence of today's biotechnology and the ethical problems resulting from it, which has lead me to believe that bioethics plays a significant role in the developments in medicine. This understanding of the concepts has allowed me to question the right and wrong of some of the issues, and how the law fits in. Another feature I have found intriguing is the conservation of biodiversity, which does not just include biological factors but also cultural, social and economic ones

Over the summer 2004, I completed work experience within a GP's surgery, where I was able to sit in on doctor- patient sessions, where permissible. This amplified my perception of doctor-patient relationships and allowed me to view what demands are made upon a doctor

At school, I am a laboratory assistant in the Chemistry department, where I help set up experiments for coming lessons. Also during school hours, I attend a veteran's home; St David's, where I talk to the people there and build an understanding of their lives, something I find is rewarding on both parties. My mathematical studies have allowed me to think logically and also stimulate my mind. I have done the intermediate mathematical challenge and received a gold and silver; I will soon be taking the senior mathematical challenge. History has helped me develop vital analytical skills and helped me understand the importance of past mistakes. In Chemistry, I find the organic side of the course more thought provoking, especially making drugs such as aspirin and acquiring knowledge of its history

Biology is where my interest of studying Biomedical sciences stems from, as it explains a world not visible to the eye, yet plays a central role in everyday life

Out of school, I partake in life drawing classes; this motivates my interest in art and allows me to think in a broader manner. I find it is an exercise that expands my thoughts, leading to more diverse ideas, which I feel is important, in comparison to thinking within set boundaries. I have a weekend job at Waterstone's and this allows me to interact with people and help develop my communication skills. It has also helped me build up my team working skills, which helps me to be a more reliable and trustworthy person. I also tutor for 11+ plus exams, in which I help children with their mathematics, reading and verbal reasoning skills. This is a worthwhile and enjoyable experience. My school and out of school activities have allowed me to increase my ability to manage my time, which I believe has considerable importance for studying Biomedical Sciences.

Comments

General Comments:

Overall, this PS is a good basis, but the applicant doesn’t sell their relevant experience well enough, talking about how it interests them and how it relates to biomedicine. Consequently, this PS doesn’t show that the applicant has a clear idea about what is involved in a biomedical sciences degree. The work experience mentioned is unimportant and would probably be best removed. The relevant stuff needs to be all together at the beginning of the body of the statement and a proper conclusion needs to be added. Also, the applicant uses capital letters when it is incorrect to do so.

Comments on the statement:

I have always this can’t be true, as it would mean from a baby! been interested in biology and chemistry. This is a very boring way to start a PS – it doesn’t grab the attention of the admissions tutor. I find them stimulating and challenging subjects, and over the years of studying them both, my interest in them has increased. This needs expanding on, to explain how the applicant’s interest has increased and particular areas of interest. This is why studying biomedical sciences at university is an ideal choice for me. Again, the applicant needs to be more specific. E.g. by answering: why? How does the applicant see them linking together in the degree? After all, this could apply to a biochemistry. Why biomedicine specifically?

This year, whilst studying for my AS level subjects, this will be obvious I attended a biology conference at Westminster Centre Hall to increase my understanding of today's biological world. This will be obvious, and the location isn’t important. There were a variety of speakers; I was particularly fascinated overused word in PSs by Professor Lord Robert Winston's no need to name drop, just mention the topic of the lecture lecture on infertility and IVF, the concepts of it, and the morality behind reproductive manipulation, which also discussed how acceptable it is to interfere with human reproduction just because the technology to do so exists. Another lecture I found captivating was by Professor Gordon McVie, on cancer cells, which illustrated what happens to cells to cause them to develop into tumours. There is no point in listing these two lectures. Instead, the applicant needs to expand on them (or only one if that’s all there’s space for), to talk about why they found it interesting (being careful not to sound like they are teaching the admissions tutors the topic) and why it made them want to study biomedicine. If applicable, it would be further enhanced by the applicant explaining their opinion on the topic.

I enhanced my knowledge about these subjects from the magazine 'Biological Sciences', which includes articles from various professors and doctorsThis will be obvious to the admissions tutors. Over the past year this magazine has stimulated my interest in biology and medicine. Not necessary. By reading it I have increased my understanding of the influence of today's biotechnology and the ethical problems resulting from it, which has lead me to believe that bioethics plays a significant role in the developments in medicine. This needs expanding on, to explain why the applicant believes this and how they came to this conclusion. This understanding of the concepts has allowed me to question the right and wrong of some of the issues, and how the law fits in. Such as? This needs expanding on. Another feature I have found intriguing is the conservation of biodiversity, which does not just include biological factors but also cultural, social and economic ones This will just be telling the admissions tutors facts that they already know. Instead, the applicant should focus on why they found this intriguing and how it relates to them wanting to study biomed at university.

Over the summer 2004, I completed work experience within a GP's surgery, where I was able to sit in on doctor- patient sessions, where permissible. This amplified my perception of doctor-patient relationships and allowed me to view what demands are made upon a doctor This sounds too much like the applicant was considering medicine as a course, and either because of their grades or something, has chosen not to apply. If mentioning this sort of work experience, the applicant needs to relate it to being a biomedical SCIENTIST, rather than a doctor. This could be done through interests in biomedical science, or skills needed to be a biomedical scientist.

At school, I am a laboratory assistant in the chemistry department, where I help set up experiments for coming lessons. The applicant needs to relate this explicitly to biomedicine, e.g. by answering how this helps their understanding of the subjects. Also during school hours, it isn’t necessary to say when exactly I attend a veteran's home; St David's, it’s not necessary to mention the name of it where I talk to the people there and build an understanding of their lives, something I find is rewarding on both parties. This doesn’t really link well with the previous bit – this doesn’t relate to biomedicine at all, so should be with other non-related extra-curricular activities. My mathematical studies have allowed me to think logically and also stimulate my mind. This is obvious, as it applies to every applicant studying A Level Maths. I have done the intermediate mathematical challenge and received a gold and silver; I will soon be taking the senior mathematical challenge. This would be better coming from the referee, as it wastes space in a PS. History has helped me develop vital analytical skills and helped me understand the importance of past mistakes. It is unnecessary to justify all A Levels, so this is irrelevant. In Chemistry, I find the organic side of the course more thought provoking, especially making drugs such as aspirin and acquiring knowledge of its history This needs to be talked about in more detail – why does the applicant find this interesting? Why are drugs especially interesting? This needs to be related to biomedicine and an explanation of how this developed the applicant’s interest in biomedicine would also be important.

Biology is where my interest of studying biomedical sciences stems from, as it explains a world not visible to the eye, yet plays a central role in everyday life This sounds more like an introduction and needs expanding, relating the stuff that isn’t ‘visible to the eye’ back to biomedicine, and specifically why this is interesting.

Out of school, I partake in life drawing classes; this motivates my interest in art and allows me to think in a broader manner. I find it is an exercise that expands my thoughts, leading to more diverse ideas, which I feel is important, in comparison to thinking within set boundaries. This sentence is unclear. I have a weekend job at Waterstones it’s not necessary to mention the name of the shop and this allows me to interact with people and help develop my communication skills. It has also helped me build up my team working skills, which helps me to be a more reliable and trustworthy person. I also tutor for 11+ plus exams, in which I help children with their mathematics, reading and verbal reasoning skills. This is a worthwhile and enjoyable experience. My school and out of school activities have allowed me to increase my ability to manage my time, which I believe has considerable importance for studying biomedical sciences. This stuff on extra-curriculars is a bit too long.

There is no distinct conclusion to sum up why the applicant is a good candidate and why they want to study the subject, which is incredibly important.