Personal Statement:Chemical Engineering 1

TSR Wiki > University > Applying to University > Personal Statement Library > Chemical Engineering 1

Chemical Engineering Personal Statement

Since beginning secondary school, I've been very interested in Chemistry and Computing. Besides my normal schoolwork I've read around these two subjects. Because I am also very keen on Mathematics and Physics, I want to pursue a degree course that combines all or most of these. Both of my parents are Science/Engineering graduates and they have taught me some of the qualities needed for a degree course in this field. This has encouraged me to find out about the opportunities available

Aims I have applied to several firms for sponsorship while at university and during a gap year, with the intention of getting Engineering-related work experience. This would give me valuable experience for the course at university. I hope to obtain a Master of Engineering degree and become employed in research and development in the oil or food industry. Eventually, I would like to do postgraduate study, and perhaps even teach Chemistry/Engineering

Interests I play basketball, tennis, volleyball, and I like kayaking. By far my biggest sports interest, however, is orienteering. I've won several trophies for Andalusian and league championships, and I've helped to organise regional orienteering events. I have also designed the database system for my club. My greatest interest outside school is computing. I have done a large amount of web design. I help maintain the computer systems at my father's workplace; and I also do some part time work teaching people on a one-to-one basis how to use their computers. I like writing manuals or "notes" on things related to computers, and have published an article on web design in a small US computer magazine. I have written papers on the use of data-logging and other equipment for my school's science department. This year, I was responsible for laying out my school's entire yearbook using DTP software. Recently, I was employed developing a web site and training staff for an organisation in London

When I have time I play the keyboard, and also do some sound engineering: I used to operate the mixing desk at my local church, as well as help at my parents' workplace, which is a professional recording studio. I enjoy teaching and have given weekly tuition in Maths and English

General Points I've lived in Spain for 14 years and am fluent in Spanish. In addition, my parents work with North Africans, Middle Easterners, Americans, Spaniards, Britons, and people of other nationalities. I have gained valuable experience growing up with many different cultures around me, and as a result appreciate the difficulties of cross-cultural communication. I have been part of several "King's Kids", teams which perform music and dance all over Spain. This entailed travelling away from home for 3 weeks at a time, and having to work with around 60 other people. I think that this has made me a fairly rounded person, and I therefore feel confident about "fitting in" with people from any culture.

Comments

General Comments:

The first thing I notice about this personal statement is the fact that it is quite short. A quick word count revealed that the PS is around 3000 characters, well short of the 4000 character limit. You should use what space you can to sell yourself to the admissions tutors. The space could be used to explain in detail what sorts of aspects of chemical engineering are interesting, through things such as extra reading, that is alluded to in the first paragraph. This is the sort of thing that will impress the admissions tutors, and this should be the focus for at least 2/3 of the statement. Given that this PS is not from a native English speaker, the language and grammar are not always correct. If you are in the same situation, get your English teacher to check it, as well as ensuring that you fulfil the requirements in English too. PSs should also not have headings – it should be in complete prose. Something else to note is that the PS does not have a strong introduction or any sort of real conclusion.

Comments on the statement:

Since beginning secondary school, I've been very interested in Chemistry and Computing Why? This is the most important question to consider throughout writing a PS Besides my normal schoolwork I've don’t use contractions in a formal document such as this read around these two subjects. What have you read? This should be expanded on further down the PS, discussing the books in more detail Because don’t start a sentence with ‘because’ as it’s not grammatically correct I am also very keen on mathematics and physics, subject names should only be capitalised when saying (for example) ‘A Level Mathematics’ – when talking about the subject more generally, it should be small letters I want to pursue a degree course that combines all or most of these. Rather than say it like this, it should be related specifically to chemical engineering, as that’s what the applicant is applying for Both of my parents are Science/Engineering graduates and they have taught me some of the qualities needed for a degree course in this field. Mentioning parents has no benefit in a PS; in fact, it can look worse, because the admissions tutors may think the applicant is doing it to follow in their footsteps, or because they’ve been pushed into it/feel like they should. This has encouraged me to find out about the opportunities available. Remember full stops at the ends of paragraphs too! This should be made more specific to chemical engineering.

Aims PSs shouldn’t have subheadings I have applied to several firms for sponsorship whilst at university and during a gap year, with the intention of getting engineering-related work experience. so what have you been offered? if you haven't been offered anything yet then don't mention it at all and concentrate on things you have already done and can talk about This would give me valuable experience repeated word, find a synonym for the course at university. I hope to obtain a Master of Engineering degree This is an irrelevant line, of course you're hoping to obtain a M.Eng, that's why you're applying for it! and become employed in research and development in the oil or food industry. Eventually, I would like to do postgraduate study, and perhaps even teach Chemistry/Engineering go into academics it’s not necessary to talk about career aspirations if you’re unsure. The admissions tutors are more interested in your reasons for wanting to study the degree (i.e. interests in it)

Interests I play basketball, tennis, volleyball, and I like kayaking. By far my biggest sports interest, however, is orienteering. I've won several trophies for Andalusian and league championships, and I've helped to organise regional orienteering events. What have you gained from this last bit? I have also designed the database system for my club. My greatest interest outside school is computing. I have done a large amount of web design. I don’t start two sentences in a row with ‘I’ as it doesn’t flow well help maintain the computer systems at my father's workplace; shouldn’t be a semi-colon and I also do some part time work teaching people on a one-to-one basis how to use their computers. I like writing manuals or "notes" on things related to computers, like what? and have published an article on web design in a small US computer magazine. which one? I have written papers on the use of data-logging and other equipment for my school's science department. This year, I was responsible for laying out my school's entire yearbook using DTP software. Recently, I was employed to develop a web site and training staff for an organisation in London. This paragraph does show that you have outside interests, but it is perhaps a little too detailed. After all, you're applying for chemical engineering and not computing. If it can be related to chemical engineering, then by all means expand on it a bit, but it is still a bit long and reads too much like a list at the moment.

When I have time I play the keyboard, and also do some sound engineering: I used to operate the mixing desk at my local church, as well as help at my parents' workplace, which is a professional recording studio. I enjoy teaching and have given weekly tuition in Maths and English. This paragraph doesn’t really belong on its own, it should be incorporated with the paragraph above, if it is mentioned at all. The space could be used to expand on points of interest in chemical engineering.

General Points I've lived in Spain for 14 years and am fluent in Spanish. this is the sort of thing their referee should comment on rather than the applicant In addition, my parents work with North Africans, Middle Easterners, Americans, Spaniards, Britons, and people of other nationalities. people from around the world, and it is because of this that I have gained valuable experience growing up with many different cultures around me, and as a result appreciate the difficulties of cross-cultural communication. This can be deleted as it is fairly irrelevant what their parents do in their lives! I have been part of several "King's Kids", teams which perform music and dance all over Spain. This entailed travelling away from home for 3 weeks at a time, and having to work with around 60 other people. I think that this has made me a fairly rounded person, and I therefore feel confident about "fitting in" with people from any culture. This sort of thing doesn’t really have any bearing on how good you will be at your course or why it interests you, so it’s not necessary. However, as an international applicant, it could be tied in (more briefly) with an explanation as to why the applicant wants to study in the UK. The concluding paragraph should sum up why you want to study the course and why you are a good candidate, which this doesn’t.