Personal Statement:Chemistry 2

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Chemistry Personal Statement

I am currently studying A-Levels at ******* College, in Maths, Further Maths, Chemistry, Physics and General Studies, and studied Music to AS level. The workload for 6 AS levels has been quite high, and my ability to cope with this busy schedule shows I am able to cope well under pressure. This was also reflected in my achievement of 99% in my AS Physics results, 98% in AS Chemistry, full marks in General Studies and over 90% in what was effectively a Maths A-level course. Currently I am particularly interested in Chemistry, as I enjoy discovering more about the individual characteristics of each element, for example the extremely reactive nature of the gases fluorine and chlorine and the versatile nature of carbon, in the compounds it can form and the allotropes it exists in.

My achievement in these subjects has been marked by receiving certificates of achievement in Further Maths, Chemistry and Physics.

In Maths I received a silver award in the UK Senior Maths Challenge shortly into the Maths course. I was also a member of the ******* team who competed in a national Maths contest in Birmingham in June 2002.

While at school, my responsibility was shown by my position of steward, a post similar to a prefect, in my final year. At college I have acted as a guide on the college open evenings and at a Year 10 Sampling Day.

For my work experience at High School I worked in a pharmacy. From this I was able to develop my inter-personal skills as well as having some opportunity to observe how a pharmacy operates.

At school I was a member of several bands and at college I have joined the Brass Group and the band, where I play the trombone. I am also a member of the ******** Brass Band which rehearses twice weekly and Lancashire Students' Concert Band, a prestigious ensemble. These activities give me the chance to work as part of a team and to experience the enjoyment of making music, which I also was able to experience last year in an AS Music course, in which I achieved a B grade. For relaxation I play the piano, in which I have recently passed my Grade 7.

I aim to work hard in my degree course and consequently to discover which field of science I develop most flair and ability. Following this I aim to go into a job related to science, possibly in research.

So far my chief interest is particularly in theoretical work, although I am also keen to research through experiments and develop my practical skills.

Comments

General Comments:

This is a somewhat short Personal Statement that could do with some expansion. Although the applicant sells their academic achievements very clearly, some work needs to be done to convince an admissions tutor that the applicant is primarily interested in chemistry. One way to do this could be to read some books that contain material beyond the A-level curriculum or discuss one particular area in some depth. The entire first paragraph needs to be re-written with these points in mind. One good point about this Personal Statement is that the extra-curricular activities are placed in a relevant context whilst not being over emphasised, as they are in many other Personal Statements. The use of spacing is also a positive in breaking up large chunks of text, subsequently making it more readable. However, one sentence "paragraphs" should be avoided. The language is clumsy in places but generally okay.

Overall, this is a "top 20" style Personal Statement but has the potential to be sufficient for the highest level if re-written with the suggestions outlined particularly regarding the first and last sections.

Comments on the statement:

I am currently studying A-Levels at ******* College, in maths, further maths, chemistry, physics and general studies, and studied music to AS level. The opening line is very important in a Personal Statement and this is a very unimaginative start. The applicant should be looking to catch the readers attention. Much of this is discussed elsewhere in the UCAS form anyway. The workload for 6 AS levels has been quite high, and my ability to cope with this busy schedule shows I am able to cope well under pressure. This was also reflected in my achievement of 99% in my AS Physics results, 98% in AS Chemistry, full marks in General Studies and over 90% in what was effectively a Maths A-level course. All of this information could be stated in other parts of the application and so isn't needed here. The use of the word "effectively" also requires further explanation. Currently Suggests a passing interest only and so should be removed I am particularly interested in chemistry, as since I have enjoyed discovering more about the individual characteristics of each element, for example such as the extremely reactive nature of the gases fluorine and chlorine and the versatile nature of carbon, in the compounds it can form and the allotropes it exists in. The subject of this last sentence is really what the whole first paragraph in a PS should be about. More should be included to express the applicants personal enjoyment of the subject they are applying for. At present it lacks a convincing interest in chemistry, which is what tutors will be primarily looking for in a Personal Statement

My achievement in these subjects has been marked by receiving certificates of achievement in further maths, chemistry and physics. Without more information this won't mean much to an admissions tutor In maths I received a silver award in the UK Senior Maths Challenge shortly into after enrolling onto the maths course. I and was also a member of the ******* team who competed in a national Maths contest in Birmingham in June 2002. Which maths competition should be stated. This paragraph expresses the applicants ability in maths and physics (as well as chemistry) but does nothing to show the applicants awareness of the relevance of maths and physics in a chemistry degree. These two "paragraphs" have been merged as they deal with very similar topics.

Whilst at school, my responsibility was shown by I have shown responsibility through being appointed to the my position of steward, a post similar to a prefect in my final year. At college I have acted as a guide on the college open evenings and at a Year 10 Sampling Day. The applicant needs to stress the relevance to a chemistry i.e. what skills or experience has doing these activities brought?

For my work experience at during High School I worked in a pharmacy. From this I was able to develop my inter-personal skills as well as having some opportunity to observe how a pharmacy operates. Room for elaboration here about the exact nature and relevance of the work experience.

At school I was a member of several bands and at college I have joined the Brass Group and the band repeated later, where I play the trombone. I am also a member of the ******** Brass Band, which rehearses twice weekly, and Lancashire Student's Concert Band, a prestigious ensemble. These activities give gave me the chance to work as part of a team and to experience the enjoyment of making music, which I also was able to experience repetition express through last year in an AS level in Music course, in which I achieved a B grade. This information will be elsewhere on the application For relaxation I play the piano, in which I have recently passed my Grade 7. This is a good paragraph on personal interests/hobbies and the skills have been developed by doing them. One way to improve it further could be to mention, even briefly, another hobby or interest.

I aim to work hard in my degree course and consequently to discover which field of science I develop most flair and ability. Following this I aim to go into a job related to science, possibly in research. Very vague. In the very least chemistry should be mentioned over science.

So far my chief interest is particularly in theoretical work, although I am also keen to research through experiments and develop my practical skills. A willingness to learn is always good but this doesn't bring about a proper conclusion to the PS. Instead a concise summary of abilities and interests would be good, as well as an appreciation that a degree in chemistry would help fulfil the applicants long term goals, such as their career aspirations would be more appropriate