Personal Statement:Computer Science 10

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Computer Science Personal Statement

I have chosen to study Computer Science because I am fascinated by how computers work and I spend most of my spare time designing programs and web pages because I enjoy problem solving and logical thinking. My ambition is to work in programming for a large corporate company, working as part of a team to maximise their IT potential.

I enjoy designing web pages and designed a prototype website for a software development company called Geologix. This involved writing the text for the site and adding icons so that visitors could download software. I created a members' area using passwords and used various different programmes to set up graphics flashpoints. I also liased with the senior partners to make sure that the site fulfilled the requirements of the company.

In the summer of 2002 I worked for McDonalds. This gave me experience in dealing with money, ensuring hygiene standards and dealing with difficult customers. This also developed my communication skills, sense of responsibility and my determination to carry on with higher education! During my time at McDonalds, I managed the branch's accounts database which also involved correcting faults in the system to ensure the programme's reliability of use.

My main extra-curricular interest is sport. I have been Capitan of ******** College mixed and 1st hockey teams and Capitan of ******* school colts' hockey team. Being a captain has taught me leadership skills and how to work positively with others to motivate and encourage. I have also played table tennis for Norfolk and Norwich and I won first prize for my research and presentation on the history of table tennis, which awarded me the Howell Prize.

Apart from sport, I was voted onto the Principal's Council, which meant liasing between the head teacher and the student body in which my role also meant organising charity events to help raise money for the school. I have completed some volunteer work helping at the Norfolk Show, being in charge of the horse enclosure and ensuring its safety. This further developed my sense of teamwork and responsibility.

I am determined to study Computer Science at degree level to fulfil my ambition to work in the IT job sector and I know that the course will enable me to thoroughly enjoy my time at university. My work experience has shown me that Computer Science is the ideal course for me and I would also look forward to contributing to the sporting activities of the university, particularly in hockey. I am passionate about every thing to do with computers and would feel completely dedicated to further my studies at a higher level.

Comments

General Comments:

This statement seems a little short at 2602 characters out of a possible 4000 characters or 47 lines. The statement starts well with a solid introduction which immediately puts across an idea of why the applicant wants to study Computer Science. After this however, academics are largely ignored and for a fairly academic subject like Computer Science it’s important to discuss skills and enjoyment of academia and particularly mathematics. It’s worth including at least another paragraph to discuss how the A-levels or equivalent qualifications the applicant has studied are relevant to Computer Science and what they have enjoyed about them. A statement should be around 2/3 academic and 1/3 extra-curricular activities as a rule of thumb.

In some places there is a good discussion of relevant experiences and the applicant has tried to relate these to relevant skills with mixed success. The applicant clearly has some good, relevant experiences but could make better use of these by tying them better to the overall aims of the statement (showing both an interest in the subject applied for and suitability for the course). There are a few clumsy spelling mistakes which also reflect badly on the applicant. It’s important to read drafts through thoroughly and to use a spell-checker!

Overall, this is a statement with significant room for improvement but would probably be successful for applications to universities outside the top 10 or 20 institutions, where academic focus is less important, provided that other aspects of the application are suitable e.g. grades. A greater discussion of academics and the course is essential in improving this statement.

--F1fanatic-14915 23:29, 27 May 2009 (BST)

Comments on the statement:

I have chosen to study Computer Science because I am fascinated by how computers work and I spend most of my spare time designing programs and web pages because I enjoy problem solving and logical thinking. A solid opening sentence, as it has got straight down to the question of why the applicant wants to study Computer Science and it is important to address this early on. The sentence is perhaps a little long and it’s not really made apparent how programming and web pages relate to logical thinking. It may be worth the applicant making this link more explicit. My ambition is to work in programming for a large corporate company, working as part of a team to maximise their IT potential. It’s always good to state any ambitions that the applicant may have, especially where they require specific application of the course being applied for. This is quite a specific ambition and some further explanation may be useful, for example to explain why it needs to be a big corporate company.

I enjoy designing web pages and This was said in the first paragraph, so does not need to be repeated here. have designed a prototype website for a software development company called Geologix, . This which involved writing the text for the site and adding icons so that visitors could download software. I think the applicant could combine these two sentences since by itself the first sentence wasn’t really adding much to the statement. I created a members' area using passwords and used various different programmes to set up graphics flashpoints. I also liaised with the senior partners to make sure that the site fulfilled the requirements of the company. This is extremely relevant experience to the course being applied to and really the applicant could make more use of this experience in selling themselves. The important thing that the reader wants to see is not the specific details of what the applicant has done (although some of this is necessary) but how these experiences have made the applicant more suitable for the course, either through skills they have developed or through being inspired by what they have done.

In the summer of 2002 I worked for McDonalds. This which gave me experience in dealing with money, ensuring hygiene standards and dealing with difficult customers. Again, the first sentence is a little brief and isn’t really contributing much, hence it’s nice to append something useful onto it by merging the sentences. It’s important that the applicant only includes relevant skills applicable to their university course. While an awareness of hygiene standards may be useful it’s not really very relevant to computer science. The applicant goes on to talk about their contribution to the computer systems of the company and this is far more relevant! This also developed my communication skills, sense of responsibility It’s important, as the applicant has done here, to relate experiences to transferable skills. and my determination to carry on with higher education! Having a stab at McDonalds in a personal statement probably isn’t the best of ideas and isn’t really necessary. Although probably meant as a joke, humour rarely works in a statement and comments such as this can create negative connotations of the applicant. During my time at McDonalds, I managed the branch's accounts database which also involved correcting faults in the system to ensure the programme's reliability of use.

My main extra-curricular interest is sport. There is no need for introductory sentences such as this; the fact that the applicant has started a new paragraph indicates that the topic has changed without the need to lead into it and take up valuable space. I have been Captain of ******** College mixed and 1st hockey teams and Captain of ******* school colts' hockey team. Being a captain has taught me leadership skills and how to work positively with others to motivate and encourage. ‘’’This is a good use of extra-curricular activities to demonstrate the development of transferable skills which are applicable to a degree in computer science.’’’ I have also played table tennis for Norfolk and Norwich and I won first prize for my research and presentation on the history of table tennis, which awarded me the Howell Prize. At the moment this isn’t that relevant to the application. While it is an achievement, it needs to be relevant and should therefore include transferable skills that have been gained by doing it.

Apart from sport, I was voted onto the Principal's Council, which meant liaising This is the second time this has been spelt incorrectly in this statement. between the head teacher and the student body. in which My role also involved organising charity events to help raise money for the school. Again it’s important to discuss this in relation to the development of skills. I have also completed some volunteer work, helping at the Norfolk Show, being in charge of the horse enclosure and ensuring its safety. This further developed my sense of teamwork and responsibility. This is a better discussion of skills and therefore using the experiences to demonstrate desirable traits for the course being applied for. Everything in a personal statement needs to relate to the course and why the applicant is well suited to studying it.

I am determined to study Computer Science at degree level to fulfil my ambition to work in the IT job sector and I know that the course will enable me to thoroughly enjoy my time at university. My work experience has shown me that Computer Science is the ideal course for me This could have been expanded on earlier in the statement. Why did it inspire the applicant to study Computer Science? and I would also look forward to contributing to the sporting activities of the university, particularly in hockey. I am passionate about every thing to do with computers and would feel completely dedicated to further my studies at a higher level The wording final phrase is slightly odd and I think should be re-written to make it clearer. The last sentence is important in leaving a lasting impression on the reader. The applicant has the right idea here, but it’s not really correct to say that they “would feel completely dedicated”, you are either dedicated or you are not and feeling doesn’t come into it. It may also be advisable to drop the sports from the conclusion. A conclusion should be kept brief (1-2 sentences) and the admissions tutors will not be accepting applicants on the grounds of potential benefit to the university hockey team.

--F1fanatic-14915 23:29, 27 May 2009 (BST)