Personal Statement:Computer Science 11

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Computer Science Personal Statement

Throughout my academic life, I have had different ideas about what career I would pursue in the future. In secondary school I wanted to become a pharmacist because of the high earnings. I later decided through careful consideration that I should keep my options open, hence choosing Chemistry, Biology, Computing and Mathematics at AS Level. Since then my interests have changed as a result of my experiences during the first year at college. I have found Computing interesting and exciting and it can lead to many professions. I have enhanced my computing and programming skills and I am certain that Computer science is the course for me. Studying A2 Computing will certainly consolidate my knowledge in this field and continuing Biology and Chemistry will serve as a backup if I wanted to join a different degree relating to those subjects.

My future career will most definitely be one associated with my degree, hopefully a programming or software designing profession However, a career in teaching may be an option if I decide otherwise.

I have developed my computer literacy and I have always enjoyed working in teams which would be expected of me if I pursued software design.

I completed two weeks of work experience at Leicester City Council.

This involved updating details in a database and doing general office tasks. This has given me a sense of realism about work and how it will affect my life.

As far as leisure activities go, I play a great deal of sport. I play indoor football on Saturday nights and outdoor during the summer. I also play badminton with my family occasionally. I have always been very keen on health and fitness and I am a regular visitor to the gym I intend to carry on these activities whilst conducting my studies. I read many novels at home and try to keep in touch with the news by reading papers, preferably The Guardian or The Independent.

I earnestly look forward, then, to a promising career in a computing- or history-related field and hope my studies at university will be productive both to me and to the large community of which I am a part of.

Throughout my life, politics has always interested me. It is a vast subject that and one that thing that effects everyone's life. I have always been passionate about international as well as middle eastern politics.

Comments

General Comments:

This is an awful personal statement. The applicant has really committed Personal Statement suicide here by throwing themselves off a huge cliff. If nothing else, an admissions tutor want to see evidence that the applicant actually has some interest in the subject they are applying for and are committed to it. This statement suggests that the applicant has no idea what they want to study and no appreciation at all of what is required of a statement. Not only does it fail to make a positive contribution, it is actually going to hinder the applicant.

In improving this statements the applicant has to appear decisive and committed, even if deep down they are not sure. They have to demonstrate an interest in Computer Science through reading, work experiences and academic work. They need to show an appreciation of what is required in the degree, for example highlighting the relevance of maths A-level to Computer Science. Experiences are important and need to discuss skills that are applicable to a Computer Science degree or how they have been inspired to study it.

In its present form I would expect this application to struggle at any institution.

--F1fanatic-14915 23:43, 27 May 2009 (BST)

Comments on the statement:

Throughout my academic life, I have had different ideas about what career I would pursue in the future. In secondary school I wanted to become a pharmacist because of the high earnings. I later decided through careful consideration that I should keep my options open, hence choosing Chemistry, Biology, Computing and Mathematics at AS Level. Since then my interests have changed as a result of my experiences during the first year at college. I have found Computing interesting and exciting and it can lead to many professions. I have enhanced my computing and programming skills and I am certain that Computer science is the course for me. Studying A2 Computing will certainly consolidate my knowledge in this field and continuing Biology and Chemistry will serve as a backup if I wanted to join a different degree relating to those subjects. This is a great example of exactly how not to start a personal statement. The applicant has shown no commitment at all to computer science and has even admitted to considering Pharmacy because they’re out for the big bucks! This is then made worse by the applicant stating that they may well change their mind about studying Computer Science and so are taking other subjects as back-ups! Even if you are not totally sure about what you would like to study, it is essential that you at least appear to be committed and have never considered anything else. The opening paragraph should immediately state why the applicant wants to study the subject and give an indication of how they are committed to it and why they enjoy it. Rather than saying that the applicant has only developed an interest at AS level, it’s better to say that their interest grew tremendously at A-level, since this creates a more positive/committed impression.

It’s a good idea to include line breaks between paragraphs to help break up the text. It makes it much easier to read and makes it more appealing on the page. It’s important to do this as an admissions tutor may be reading hundreds of statements so it’s a good idea to make it easy for them.

My future career will most definitely be one associated with my degree, hopefully a programming or software designing profession. Suddenly the applicant seems to have a definitive idea of what they want to do, but it’s still a bit vague. It’s important to be specific to help demonstrate a believable and real interest. However, a career in teaching may be an option if I decide otherwise Again, it’s important to be committed. The admissions tutor won’t be holding the applicant to what they say in 3 or 4 years time when they graduate, so it is better to appear to have a plan and ambition rather than to come across as vague and wandering through life. In the mind of the tutor someone who is vague is far less likely to be committed to the subject and to do well at it, and far more likely to drop out when they discover another subject that takes their fancy. Neither of these encourage the tutor to offer the applicant a place.

I have developed my computer literacy and I have always enjoyed working in teams, which would be expected of me if I pursued software design. One positive here is the mention of team work; transferable skills relevant to the degree discipline are important things to mention when discussing experiences. I completed two weeks of work experience at Leicester City Council. This involved updating details in a database and doing general office tasks This is extremely vague. It could mean anything and it’s important to give specific details where possible, especially since this seems to be relevant to the degree. This has given me a sense of realism about work and how it will affect my life. Right idea here in discussing what they have gained from the course, but what does a “sense of realism” really mean? It would actually be quite concerning if the applicant was living in a fantasy world prior to this. There are far better examples of skills such as leadership, organisation, working with people and making decisions that could have been mentioned. In addition to the content, the structure is inappropriate for a personal statement, which should be written as prose in paragraphs. Here the applicant seems to have separated sentences with return strokes without any clear paragraph structure at all.

As far as leisure activities go, I play a great deal of sport. This is waffle that can be omitted. I play indoor football on Saturday nights and outdoor during the summer. I also play badminton with my family occasionally. I have always been very keen on health and fitness and I am a regular visitor to the gym. I intend to carry on these activities whilst conducting my studies. There are a lot of short sentences here which break up the flow and make the paragraph very stop-start. It needs to be more flowing and it also needs to mention skills again. Football is a great example of teamwork, but it needs to be mentioned explicitly. I read many novels at home and try to keep in touch with the news by reading papers, preferably The Guardian or The Independent. The applicant's preference when it comes to newspapers (or politics) is not relevant to their application to Computer Science.

I earnestly look forward, then, to a promising career in a computing, hyphens are quite informal for a personal statement and should be avoided. or history-related field Where did this come from? Suddenly the applicant has a previously unmentioned desire for a future in a history related field, so why are they applying to a computer science degree? and hope my studies at university will be productive both to for me and to the large community of which I am a part of This is badly worded and needs to be re-written to phrase it in a more elegant manner. I think the applicant wants to say that they hope to make a positive contribution to the University.

Throughout my life, politics has always interested me. It is a vast subject that and one that thing that effects everyone's life. I have always been passionate about international as well as middle eastern politics. This has absolutely no relevance to the personal statement unless it is somehow related to the degree, the applicant may as well say that their favourite colour is purple. Not only is it not relevant, its the final sentence of the statement and therefore creates a lasting impression which in fairness summarises this statement rather well - that the applicant doesn't have a clue what they want to do. Unfortunately, it's not the message that the applicant would like to be presenting. The conclusion is very important in a PS, and should summarise both interest in the subject and also the applicant's skills and abilities to do the subject. It's worth spending some time on.

--F1fanatic-14915 23:43, 27 May 2009 (BST)