Personal Statement:Computer Science 7

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Computer Science Personal Statement

From as early as I can remember, I have always had a fascination with computers and the way in which they work. Computer science is thus, the natural progression for me as I continue to define the person I want to become in later life. As a person who manages to mix a good working rate with an interesting and diverse social life, I feel that university life is something that would definitely suit me, and be something to which I could contribute

My general enjoyment of computing inspired me to teach myself the programming languages Java, and C++ to a relatively advanced level, and am currently working towards gaining a solid background with Delphi and Pascal. Combined with my studies of Mathematics and Physics, I have been able to support my programming with a solid knowledge of how basic electronics work, and a background of mathematics, which has become integrated into my programming and studying of computers, while reading "Computers Ltd: What they really can't do", by David Harel, allowed me to gain insight into the limits of computing

Having worked with the ICT technician at Mundella Primary School, to set up both wireless and hard-wired networks for over 50 computers, I have gained the chance to see a real life application of ICT within a workplace, confirming my basic career path - to work around an ICT environment

Outside of the school-working environment, I have participated in many extra curricular activities. As a member of the school rugby 1st XV, and pack leader, I have been able to develop my ability to work in a team of people, capable of taking the lead and demonstrating initiative. Alongside this, I have been taking part in my local Tae-Kwon Do club, and have achieved 8th Kup. This has allowed me to develop and mature as a person, adding discipline into my life

Regularly going to my local Gym has also become a part of my life, allowing me to maintain the fitness level required for both the rugby team, and taking part in Tae-Kwon Do competitions, on a competitive level

The LAMDA Drama Bronze Medal in, which I achieved Distinction, allowed me to develop social skills, and the ability to talk in public, as I later entered the "David Starkey Public Speaking Competition", in which I competed against other peers, both writing and reading a speech. Alongside this, I have been working in NEXT, a clothing shop in my local city, in which I have gained social skills, while working in a team.

Comments

General Comments:

This PS isn’t a bad start, but there needs to be far more focus on CS, rather than the extra-curricular activities. Interests are alluded to, but not really expanded on. Some of the space is wasted on things that irrelevant to the course. The most important question to answer in a PS is ‘why?’ – why does this interest you?

Comments on the statement:

From as early as I can remember, this is incredibly clichéd I have always this is a common mistake in PSs – it can’t have ‘always’ been true, as this would mean since a baby! had a fascination overused word in PSs with computers and the way in which they work. This needs to be more specific: why have you? what interests you about them? Computer science is thus, this comma is unnecessary the natural progression for me as I continue to define the person I want to become in later life. these two things don't totally fit together you could define the person you want to be in life by doing any subject, but why CS in particular? As a person who manages to mix a good working rate with an interesting and diverse social life, I feel that university life is something that would definitely suit me. and be something to which I could contribute this isn’t an important thing for a PS – your interest in the subject should be the main focus. ‘Social life’ in PSs just suggests lots of drinking!

Ideally, the intro needs to be them saying where their interest has come from and why they are interested. All of this about being a good student can come later in the PS, perhaps as a summary in the conclusion.

My general enjoyment of computing inspired me to teach myself the programming languages Java, and C++ to a relatively advanced level I am currently working towards gaining a solid background with in Delphi and Pascal.

This needs to be expanded on to mention what the applicant has done with the languages and to really back it up with evidence. This would be much better if the applicant explored their activities with the languages and actually showed they were at an advanced level. It might also be good for them to give opinions on the languages too.

Combined with my studies of maths and physics, you need to use small letters except when naming the qualification I have been able to support my programming with a solid knowledge of how basic electronics work,. and a background of mathematics, which has become integrated into my programming and studying of computers, while reading "Computers Ltd: What they really can't do", by David Harel, allowed me to gain insight into the limits of computing. The grammar needs sorting out in this paragraph, as it doesn’t make sense and is a very long sentence. If mentioning the book, it needs to be expanded on to mention how the applicant is interested in it, related to computing. Talking about the limitations doesn’t really sound like the best way to do this, however!

Having worked with the ICT technician at Mundella Primary School, the name is irrelevant to set up both wireless and hard-wired networks for over 50 computers, I have gained the chance to see a real life application of ICT within a workplace,. confirming my basic career path - to work around an ICT environment most places of work rely on computers, but it could be useful to mention if it’s expanded on, to explain what skills they gained related to CS and why they were interested in it? Why has this prompted them to study CS further? However, be careful not to fall into the trap of discussing ICT instead of CS

Outside of the school-working environment, I have participated in many extra curricular activities. As a member of the school rugby 1st XV, and pack leader, I have been able to develop my ability to work in a team of people, capable of taking the lead and demonstrating initiative. This wording is odd and the sentence is too long. It should be expanded to include what skills they have been gained from this Alongside this, I have been taking part in my local Tae-Kwon Do club, and have achieved 8th Kup. This has allowed me to develop and mature as a person, adding discipline into my life This last sentence isn’t necessary [merged paragraphs, as it’s all on extra-curricular activities] Regularly going to my local gym has also become a part of my life, allowing me to maintain the fitness level required for both the rugby team, and taking part in Tae-Kwon Do competitions, on a competitive level. You don’t need to mention everything done outside of school – this is a bit long for this section of the PS really

The LAMDA Drama Bronze Medal, moved comma in which I achieved distinction, allowed me to develop social skills, and the ability to talk in public, as I later entered the "David Starkey Public Speaking Competition", in which I competed against other peers, both writing and reading a speech. I would say that what you did would be self-explanatory. Instead, talk about what you gained from it Alongside this, I have been working in NEXT, a clothing shop in my local city, in which I have gained social skills, while working in a team. The way this is worded, with ‘gained social skills’ almost sounds like you had none before! These skills have also already been mentioned – they don’t need to be mentioned more than once. The name and location of the shop aren’t important either.

At present, there is too much on extra-curricular activities (this also counts as EC, as it’s not related to the course being applied for). This is also unsuitable for a concluding paragraph, as a PS should end by summing up why you are a good candidate and why you want to study the course.