Personal Statement:Dentistry 2

TSR Wiki > University > Applying to University > Personal Statement Library > Dentistry 2

Dentistry Personal Statement

I became interested in dentistry because I have always wanted to be involved in a profession where I am helping people and I am very interested in the human biology. I want to study dentistry over the obvious choice of medicine because as a doctor you are constantly passing a patient along a chain of other doctors, whereas a dentist can treat a patient straight after diagnosing a problem. Also I like that a patient will be your patient for quite some time, building a good relationships with that person

When choosing my AS level subjects initially I wasn't certain of the course I would take at university, this is the reason I do not have chemistry already. However when it became apparent to me that dentistry was the course for me, I decided to drop PE and take chemistry as an AS level, while carrying on my other subjects at A2 level. I hope this demonstrates my dedication to get onto this course

The hard work I put into my AS levels paid off and I feel I can repeat the success for both my A2 levels and the chemistry AS level, as do my teachers who have predicted the same. I have always enjoyed the rewards of education, and I intend to carry on this through and beyond university, specialising in a field as orthodontics or dental implants. Aside from academic achievement I feel there are a number of other things I can bring to the course. I have always been a hands on person, and I find any thing with practical work rewarding. I got an A in GCSE art and I feel that creativity and hand eye co-ordination is essential in dentistry. I did hold a part-time job as a sales assistant, which meant that I had to put agitated customers at ease and had to work to deadlines set by the manager. The reason I am no longer in the job is because I feel my education takes priority over part-time work and so I left to concentrate on my AS levels. I now referee children's games at weekends, this has helped me develop the ability to calm children down whilst getting them to follow my instructions. I have always been 'good with children', and I think refereeing has helped me relate to them further, this is one reason I would like to specialise in orthodontics

My work experience took place at Cambray Dental Cheltenham, which I found helped me greatly in choosing my course. I found out that as a dentist you have to deal with patients from all walks of life, which I would find very interesting. I saw many treatments from a simple filling to implants which helped me see the work that I would be doing from day to day, and the responsibilities that would be placed upon me, which I feel suit me very well. From talking with the dentists I found out it is a very stressful profession and that some patients are very difficult to deal with. However I have always been very good at dealing with stress, and past experience shows I could help the most agitated patients

I am a keen sportsman, I have colours for the school football team, I play for a team outside school, I am a part of the school table tennis club, and play many other sports for leisure. Music is also a big part of my life, I listen to all types of music, from rock to soul music, which I find helps me to relax. My other hobbies include films (anything from comedy to thrillers), reading (crime and sports books) and socialising with friends

In short I feel that dentistry is a course suited very well to me, and that I can be an asset to the dental profession.

Comments

General Comments:

This PS needs a lot of work. The reasons for applying for dentistry are vague and experiences aren’t related to dentistry enough, to show their knowledge of it and what dentists need to be like, why the profession interests them, or how they are well suited to being one. The things mentioned need to be personal to the applicant and not applicable to the vast majority of the other applicants, as those things waste space unnecessarily. Avoid anything remotely negative in your PS – if there are things that you feel need to be explained, ask the referee to do that. This PS doesn’t imply that the applicant has got to grips either with what the PS is meant to do/contain or with what dentistry actually entails. They have not really explained at all why they want to study the subject, there is too little focus on work experience (which is absolutely essential) and they haven't discussed what they learnt from their experiences or how it relates to dentistry. All in all, a lot of work required here.

Comments on the statement:

I became interested in dentistry because I have always this is a common mistake in PSs – it can’t be true, as that would mean since being a baby! wanted to be involved in a profession where I am helping people and I am very interested in the human biology. Dental admission tutors will have read something along these lines numerous times and it isn’t specific enough about dentistry; it could apply to medicine too. The intro needs to be specific about dentistry, e.g. through answering questions such as: how did your interest in dentistry came about? It doesn’t really ‘grab’ the admissions tutor’s attention. I want to study dentistry over the obvious choice of medicine because as a doctor you are constantly passing a patient along a chain of other doctors, whereas a dentist can treat a patient straight after diagnosing a problem. "Obvious choice of medicine"??? This is likely to disappoint the dental admissions tutors if they read this, as it could look like admitting dentistry is second best. Also, the assumption about doctors isn’t always correct, as they can in some cases treat a patient themselves. Instead, it would be better to focus on what is unique about dentistry (without putting down/making assumptions about any other profession) and why that interests you. Also, the word ‘patient’ is repeated too much, so it stops it flowing so well. Also I like that a patient will be your patient for quite some time, building a good relationships with that person. It would be better to briefly say how a dentist does this, and why it appeals to the applicant.

When choosing my AS level subjects initially I was not don’t use contractions in a formal document like this certain of the course I would take at university, this is the reason I do not have chemistry already. This sounds too negative - you don't want to explicitly say that you didn't know what you wanted to study as it comes across as flippant. Who's to know they won't have changed their mind again in 6 months time? However when it became apparent to me that dentistry was the course for me, I decided to drop PE and take chemistry as an AS level, while carrying on my other subjects at A2 level. I hope this demonstrates my dedication to get onto this course. This wastes characters, as it’ll be on their education section of the UCAS form. The essential point has been brushed over here. When and why did they decide on dentistry? The details of when they dropped or picked up subjects really isn't important and doesn't in itself demonstrate dedication to the course. Instead discuss what they have got out of the chemistry that will help them, why is it important?

The hard work I put into my AS levels paid off and I feel I can repeat the success for both my A2 levels and the chemistry AS level, as do my teachers who have predicted the same. It is a waste – predicted grades will be elsewhere on the form. I have always enjoyed the rewards of education, and I intend to carry on this through and beyond university, specialising in a field as orthodontics or dental implants. What rewards? Can you elaborate? Why do you want to specialise in either "orthodontics or dental implants"? Also, at present their career aspirations are only vaguely relevant and could come towards the end of the statement. Aside from academic achievement I feel there are a number of other things I can bring to the course. You don’t ‘bring’ anything to the course – this needs rewording I have always been a hands on this phrase is too informal person, and I find anything with practical work rewarding. I got an A in GCSE Art grades will be elsewhere, so it’s not worth mentioning and I feel that creativity and hand eye co-ordination is essential in dentistry. Ok this has potential, but it needs expanding on to say why these things are useful and why practical work is interesting, relating it back to dentistry.

I did hold a part-time job as a sales assistant, which meant that I had to put agitated customers at ease and had to work to deadlines set by the manager. Ideal opportunity to relate your experiences with dentistry! So what? The phrase "did" is a little concerning. Did they get fired?? The reason I am no longer in the job is because I feel my education takes priority over part-time work and so I left to concentrate on my AS levels. This could bring into question whether the applicant could cope with a degree, if that much effort is necessary for A Levels.

I now referee children's games at weekends, which has helped me develop the ability to calm children down whilst getting them to follow my instructions. Another ideal opportunity to link dentistry... These links need to be made explicitly I have always been 'good with children', why are there quote marks? Also, evidence is needed to back this sort of thing and I think refereeing has helped me relate to them further, which is one reason I would like to specialise in orthodontics. How does one treat children differently? Also, being interesting/being to relate to children doesn’t seem to be a good enough reason to go into orthodontics.

My work experience took place at Cambray Dental Cheltenham, the name isn’t necessary which I found helped me greatly in choosing my course. This whole section on work experience should be much further up the statement, as it’s one of the most important aspects. [merged paragraphs] I found out that as a dentist you have to deal with patients from all walks of life, which I would find very interesting. Why? What about the actual dentistry bit? I saw many treatments from a simple filling to implants which helped me see the work that I would be doing from day to day, and the responsibilities that would be placed upon me, which I feel suit me very well. The work experience needs to be discussed in far more detail. What was their role during this WE? What interested them about the role of dentistry? There needs to be some sort of indication that they know what they're letting themselves in for. What learnings did they take away? [merged paragraphs] From talking with the dentists I found out that it is a very stressful profession and that some patients are very difficult to deal with. How? Why are you still attracted to it, despite the negative sides? However I have always been very good at dealing with stress, and past experience shows I could help the most agitated patients. What past experience? It seems a very naive and bold assertion to say with confidence that they will be able to deal with it.

I am a keen sportsman; I have colours for the school football team, I play for a team outside school, I am a part of the school table tennis club, and play many other sports for leisure. This list doesn’t flow well at all. Instead relate it to dentistry. For instance, how does playing for a team make you more suitable for dentistry? E.g. communication, leadership etc. Music is also a big part of my life, bit clichéd I listen to all types of music, from rock to soul music, which I find helps me to relax. My other hobbies include films (anything from comedy to thrillers), reading (crime and sports books) and socialising with friends The film and music discussion isn’t necessary, as everyone does these things, so it doesn’t set apart the applicant at all.

In short don’t start a conclusion like this I feel that dentistry is a course suited very well to me, and that I can be an asset to the dental profession. This needs expanding on, to summarise their reasons for applying: Why is it well suited to them? Why do they want to study it?