Personal Statement:English 6

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English Personal Statement

When I was very young, I used to love reading so much that my career ambition was to own a newsagents. This fondness for the written word has been in the background all of my life, and as the study became more intricate, I realised how interesting it could be. I have therefore chosen to study English at University, for enjoyment, for the analytical skills and for the wide experiences of life that literature covers

So far, my favourite genre is comedy, especially Stephen Fry, Chaucer and P.G. Wodehouse, although my experiences with all of these are limited. History has always been fascinating to me, and this ties into literature when I study why an author writes what and how he does. My study of mathematics complements my logical abilities and also my philosophical interests, which I also find influences literature a great deal

I have completed several periods of work experience, motivated by fun and/or interest. Working in a nursery school and also in a junior school was excellent fun. Particularly interesting was the way children learnt and discipline was applied. I have also been on a mini-pupillage in a Barrister's Chambers, which taught me a great deal about the profession, and have worked for a year in Allders department store, dealing with customers on the electrical department. This has given me confidence with the public and also considerable discipline

Recently, I have been considering training to become a barrister, for the academic quality and also the theatrical aspect. The satisfaction of an argument well won is something I relish

The atmosphere at my school is very competitive and stimulating. This intensity compliments my desire to learn and my intense self-motivation. This year I am serving as a prefect, a school librarian and also House Secretary. These all involve responsibility, organisational skills and strong presence in the school. Recently, there was held a summer school that studied some political philosophy and the absurd in literature, and I am also very pleased to have been awarded the school's English Literature prize. Drama is something I enjoy greatly, and I have appeared in a winning House Drama competition performance and soon the school's production of Cabaret

This is fantastic because I love to sing and am a member of the school's choral society

My main love is music and I own many CD's of all different genres. I have recently begun to learn the saxophone, and also own a guitar. My band has performed in a Battle of Bands competition - I am the vocalist. Other than that, I enjoy reading miscellaneous books and also outdoor activities. I am a member of the Scout Network and also Purbrook Scout Support Team. Also, I have completed the Duke of Edinburgh Bronze award, and am now going on to the Silver

There are many things that I still want to do and learn, and I see university as the best opportunity to get involved more in drama and music, try some debating and hopefully take up a sport. Although having done relatively little so far, I regard university as a place where I can realise my potential in every aspect of life and also have a lot of fun studying what I love.

Comments

General Comments:

This statement needs some attention to punctuation, and also needs re-working to include more academic information. The candidate needs to demonstrate not only a wider range of literary engagement, but also show some evidence of critical awareness. Even mentioning some critical approaches or books they have encountered would help with this. Several of the paragraphs are just lists of activities, and so need to be expanded to include what the candidate feels they have gained from each experience. Important information about the candidates experience of studying literature outside the classroom is left until the end, when it should be a key point in one of the first two paragraphs. The final paragraph needs reworking to pull together the statement and emphasise the candidates academic ability.

Comments on the statement:

When I was very young, I used to love reading so much that my career ambition was to own a newsagents. This is quite a cliché for the starting sentence. The candidate should instead include information about recent study. This fondness for the written word has been in the background all of my life, and as the study became more intricate, I realised how interesting it could be. I have therefore chosen to study English at University, for enjoyment, for the analytical skills and for the wide experiences of life that literature covers.

So far, my favourite genre is comedy, especially Stephen Fry, Chaucer and P.G. Wodehouse, although my experiences with all of these are limited. History has always been fascinating to me, and this ties into literature when I study why an author writes what and how he does. The candidate has mentioned three very different authors as well as an historical interest. It would be better to draw all of these ideas out and discuss more critical ways of looking at the texts, as well as perhaps mentioning more 'traditional' authors. If the candidate has any knowledge of further critical reading, here would be a good place to mention it. My study of mathematics complements my logical abilities and also my philosophical interests, which I also find influences literature a great deal. While it is not unreasonable to make this connection, the candidate needs to justify it, and give an example of when they have used a logical approach to produce a good literary analysis.

I have completed several periods of work experience, motivated by fun and/or and interest. Working in a nursery school and also in a junior school was excellent fun. The repetition of the word 'fun' says nothing about the candidates own abilities. There is no need to justify undertaking work experience so both these first two sentences could be replaced with something simple, such as: 'I have undertaken a variety of work experience placements'. Particularly interesting was the way children learnt and discipline was applied. I have also been on a mini-pupillage in a Barrister's Chambers, which taught me a great deal about the profession, and have worked for a year in Allders department store, dealing with customers on the electrical department. This has given me confidence with the public and also considerable discipline. This runs the danger of becoming a list. While the candidate has made some indications of what was learnt in the work experience, more needs to be said about the skills gained and the ways in which they applied these skills. If possible, these skills should be translatable to a university environment.

Recently, I have been considering training to become a barrister, for the academic quality and also the theatrical aspect. The satisfaction of an argument well won is something I relish This sentences stands entirely outside of the rest of the statement. While a comment about debating and constructing an argument would be useful, the reference to barrister training suggests that the candidate does not have a specifically literary focus and should be removed

The atmosphere at my school is very competitive and stimulating. This intensity compliments my desire to learn and my intense self-motivation. This year I am serving as a prefect, a school librarian and also House Secretary. These all involve responsibility, organisational skills and strong presence in the school. This is good, and could be improved if the candidate gave examples of where their skills were applied in these roles Recently, there was held I attended a summer school that during which I studied some political philosophy and the absurd in literature, and I am also very pleased to have been awarded the school's English Literature prize. This is a useful academic reference, and should be moved nearer the top of the statement. The candidate should explain more about the studies they completed in the summer school in order to show the range of their knowledge, as well as what the literature prize was awarded for. Drama is something I enjoy greatly, and I have appeared in a winning House Drama competition performance and soon the will soon be performing in the school's production of Cabaret . This is fantastic because I love to sing and am a member of the school's choral society A better end to this might be: 'which will be complemented by my work as a member of the school's choral society'. Again, the candidate needs to explain what skills they have gained from this.

My main love is music and I own many CD's of all different genres. I have recently begun to learn the saxophone, and also own a guitar. My band has performed in a Battle of Bands competition - I am the vocalist. Other than that, I enjoy reading miscellaneous books and also outdoor activities. I am a member of the Scout Network and also Purbrook Scout Support Team. Also, I have completed the Duke of Edinburgh Bronze award, and am now going on to the Silver . This paragraph is a list of activities, and needs re-working. 'Miscellaneous books' is not a good phrase when applying for an English degree, as it suggests a lack of interest. As with previous paragraphs, the candidate needs to indicate how these activities would make them an asset to the course and the university.

There are many things that I still want to do and learn, and I see university as the best opportunity to get involved more in drama and music, try some debating and hopefully take up a sport. Although having done relatively little so far, I regard university as a place where I can realise my potential in every aspect of life and also have a lot of fun studying what I love. This final paragraph needs entirely re-working. The candidate should re-focus their statement on their academic experience and what they hope to gain from the course itself. The phrase 'having done relatively little so far' should be avoided completely as it gives a very negative spin on everything that has gone before it. The candidate should be focussing on what they could bring to the course, not what they haven't done.