English and French degree personal statement example (1b) with review

This is a real personal statement written by a student for their university application. It might help you decide what to include in your own. There are lots more examples in our collection of sample personal statements. 

 

In French, ‘language’ and ‘tongue’ are the same word. In English, they are synonyms; but French gives the ability to use and structure words the status of an organ of the body. Language is intrinsic to human experience, but as our countries and our cultures have diverged, so have the images embedded in our speech. The relationship between English and French is fascinating; Chaucer’s English is littered with French borrowings, while the Académie Francaise today sees English words as litter in the pure streets of its language. I want to study literature because I love these oppositions and connections, showing as they do the power of words. Words are the currency of life, and from Shakespeare to Simon Armitage, nothing else inspires so greatly my capacity for wonder. Reading Armitage’s ‘Kid’ on an English classroom poster was the first time I encountered the contemporary language used in poetry. It had never occurred to me that words in the vernacular could chime to such effect; structurally the compressed, incessant nature of the half-rhymes showed me what form could do for language.

Form has been described as both restraining and liberating language. It gave Swinburne the framework for his aesthetic grace, and it is used with great dexterity by Paul Farley, who taught the Arvon Centre course that I attended as a winner of the 2006 Foyle Young Poets award. I had written creatively before, including the obligatory bad first novel, but the course taught me to read my own work and the work of others critically, which was invaluable.

With the other Foyle’s winners I have helped to start an e-Zine titled Pomegranate Poetry, for which I write regular articles and work on the selection team to choose the best submissions for the website. Along with my role as a music reviewer for Stylus Magazine and my co-editing of the school newspaper, I enjoy this chance to develop writing skills outside the classroom. I also study Theatre, and hope one day to act in French when I have reached a standard of language where my performance can seem as believable as one in my mother tongue.

The first French writer whose books I read was Boris Vian, as a result of my preparation for my oral exam on ‘le mouvement Zazou’. Although some puns may have been lost in translation, I enjoyed his flamboyant wordplay and his wry characterisation. In poetry, the author I have found most engaging is Charles Baudelaire. I was struck by his use of sound devices in ‘Au Lecteur’ to intensify the dark power of the poem’s message. In his defiant, innovative contrast to the writing of his time, he exemplifies the writer as ‘free spirit’. Of course, such terms do not exist in a vacuum; ‘freedom’ in literature is constructed much like any other concept by the pre-conceived ideas of the reader and society. For instance, my favourite poet, John Clare, is often seen as one-dimensional, reduced to mere rurality and madness. On reading his work, I discovered that nature for Clare was often a metaphor more than a literal topic, used to show security and order in the face of political change. Politics is key to literature, and having read ‘Candide’ I would enjoy the chance to study the development of politics in France, in light of the recent banlieue riots and other signs of public disaffection.

I am particularly interested by the period from the French Revolution to the First World War, as political shifts in both countries meant that no writer could ever be neutral, and in such a light the work of authors like Byron, Blake and Saki can be read at two levels – that of its surface beauty, and that of class, and society’s expected moral values. I am keen to find out more about how French authors interpreted this period. My main ambition as a student is to raise my language skills to the levels where the two cultures will be equally accessible, equally communicative, and will seem to me as individual yet as connected as the history of the languages themselves.

Comments

General Comments:

This statement needs a lot of work. The applicant needs to focus and go into more detail about about the works they've read, talking about why they're interested in them, offer their opinions/view and how it relates to other things they've read. Their own writing is too focused on creative writing, which the admissions tutors will not be interested in, as the degree will not cover it. Instead, the applicant should focus on their engagement and analysis of what they’ve read and found interesting. The works that are mentioned are not mentioned in enough detail to impress the admissions tutors. The applicant also needs to make it more explicit about why they want to study them together and how they link. The structure also needs work, with the stuff specifically related to English and French at the beginning, and the rest at the end.

Comments on the statement:

In French, ‘language’ and ‘tongue’ are the same word. In English, they are synonyms; but French gives the ability to use and structure words the status of an organ of the body. Language is intrinsic to human experience, but as our countries and our cultures have diverged, so have the images embedded in our speech. The relationship between English and French is fascinating; this is an overused word in PSs Chaucer’s English is littered with French borrowings, while the Académie be warned that accents may well not show up on UCAS formatting, so check your PS before it is submitted Francaise today sees English words as litter in the pure streets of its language. Yes, these observations are interesting (although they are rather sweeping statements), but the applicant takes too long to get to the answer of the question ‘why do they want to study English and French?’ – this section isn’t personal enough to the applicant. This wastes too many characters as it stands, although it could work if it was more condensed. I want to study literature because I love these oppositions and connections, showing as they do the power of words. Words are the currency of life, and from Shakespeare to Simon Armitage, nothing else inspires so greatly my capacity for wonder. Reading Armitage’s ‘Kid’ on an English classroom poster was the first time I encountered the contemporary language used in poetry. It had never occurred to me that words in the vernacular could chime to such effect; structurally the compressed, incessant nature of the half-rhymes showed me what form could do for language. This sounds rather pompous unnecessarily verbose and doesn’t really describe their engagement in either language in detail, which is important. While they’ve said that it taught them something new about literature, the applicant doesn’t go on to explain why it has made them want to study it for a degree. It is important that a PS is easily readable, as an admissions tutor will read hundreds, if not thousands of them.

Form has been described as both restraining and liberating language. It gave Swinburne the framework for his aesthetic grace, and it is used with great dexterity by Paul Farley, who taught the Arvon Centre course that I attended as a winner of the 2006 Foyle Young Poets award. I had written creatively before, including the obligatory bad first novel, this is too flippant but the course taught me to read my own work and the work of others critically, which was invaluable. This paragraph just states facts and doesn’t really (once again) explain why this made the applicant want to study English (and French). It is important to discuss why it is important, why they enjoy it and how it relates to their desire to study it at university. It is also important not to sound too much like the applicant wants to study English in order to progress onto creative writing themselves.

With the other Foyle’s winners I have helped to start an e-Zine titled ”Pomegranate Poetry”, publication names need quotation marks around them for which I write regular articles and work on the selection team to choose the best submissions for the website. Along with my role as a music reviewer for ”Stylus Magazine” and my co-editing of the school newspaper, I enjoy this chance to develop writing skills outside the classroom. This again, sounds too focused on the writing side of things (or editorial, another dream of many interested in literature). I also study theatre, and hope one day to act in French when I have reached a standard of language where my performance can seem as believable as one in my mother tongue. Is acting part of the course? It is unwise to mention this, as it sounds like trying to link another A Level to the course choice. While this would be understandable (as long as it is written correctly) with English, the link to French is tenuous.

This doesn’t flow on well from the section on English – there are links between them that the applicant should exploit and explain, as it’s likely that any dissertation they have to do will incorporate both subjects. It needs to be clear that the applicant knows the link between them, to show that they’ve thought about their choices carefully. The first French writer whose books I read was Boris Vian, as a result of my preparation for my oral exam on ‘le mouvement Zazou’. Although some puns may have been lost in translation, given that the applicant is applying for French, where they will be reading French literature, it is an idea to read the originals and not the translations I enjoyed his flamboyant wordplay and his wry characterisation. Why? In poetry, the author I have found most engaging is Charles Baudelaire. I was struck by his use of sound devices in ‘Au Lecteur’ to intensify the dark power of the poem’s message. Why? How was this effective? In his defiant, innovative contrast to the writing of his time, he exemplifies the writer as ‘free spirit’. How? Of course, this phrasing is too informal for a PS such terms do not exist in a vacuum; ‘freedom’ in literature is constructed much like any other concept by the pre-conceived ideas of the reader and society. For instance, my favourite poet, John Clare, is often seen as one-dimensional, reduced to mere rurality and madness. This needs expanding on, especially as the applicant has criticised their favourite poet. On reading his work, I discovered that nature for Clare was often a metaphor more than a literal topic, used to show security and order in the face of political change. Politics is key to literature, and having read ‘Candide’ I would enjoy the chance to study the development of politics in France, in light of the recent banlieue riots and other signs of public disaffection. Be careful that this is covered in the courses. Also, it needs expanding on to talk about their interest of literature around this time.

I am particularly interested by the period from the French Revolution to the First World War, as political shifts in both countries meant that no writer could ever be neutral, and in such a light the work of authors like Byron, Blake and Saki can be read at two levels – that of its surface beauty, and that of class, and society’s expected moral values. New things should not be mentioned in the conclusion. Also, many French degrees are really heavy on literature and light on history, so check the relevance of areas of interest to university choices. I don’t start sentences in a row with ‘I’, as it doesn’t flow wellam keen to find out more about how French authors interpreted this period. My main ambition as a student is to raise my language skills to the levels where the two cultures will be equally accessible, equally communicative, and will seem to me as individual yet as connected as the history of the languages themselves. This is an alright ending.