Personal Statement:Geography 1

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Geography Personal Statement

I am interested in pursuing a Geography course at University. Studying Geography will provide me with a better understanding of topical issues that affect the world around us, and also improve my presentational skills and independent learning skills. I am currently studying A-Levels Geography and Drama, which has provided me with a keen interest in current affairs; therefore I am interested in areas such as development and environmental issues

I feel that these subject areas will provide me with a sound background to build a degree

My interests in Drama started early in College where I found that I enjoyed many of the techniques used within Drama. This gave me the confidence to take part in college productions, I have also developed my knowledge of Greek Tragedies, Physical Theatre and Monologues, and whilst studying an A-Level in Performing Arts I have developed my leadership skills and confidence to a mature standard

During my work experience I had the opportunity to work with a professional and extremely dedicated armourer. I used these two weeks to great advantage by broadening my knowledge in a diverse trade, which requires skill and extremely good technique. These two weeks helped me develop many skills such as concentration and independent working, work experience has also provided me with experience in a trade which can be used to fall back on, due to the fact that this is a family trade I therefore I have a platform in which to start up

Within college I play an active role within college and also within my tutor group. I was elected student Council Representative, which has not only developed my communications skills but furthered my organisation skills. Within my tutor group I interact as much as possible by taking part in the tutor football team, and helping out my tutor with international dimensions week, which consists of helping younger students to develop skills they can use in the future. I have also worked with the P.E department by refereeing sports day football

As part of my personal development personal development, I helped in a Year 7 Drama class and used my own skills to help students out with plays, this taught me qualities of leadership such as motivation and patience

My hobbies include a wide range of sports, most notably rugby where I play at club level and county level, I hope to use this sporting background to play in a University team. I also take a great interest in football, golf and occasionally play tennis, I work part time within the College itself working in the Site Team, which has developed my reliability and communications skills

I regard myself to be an extremely friendly and hard working person. I have become very determined and independent as a result of pursuing my A-Levels; and hope this provides a good background for University. I look forward to the challenge of University life and the opportunities that will arise as a result.

Comments

General Comments:

This personal statement is too vague and irrelevant for the course the applicant wants to apply to. Almost nothing other than the first paragraph relates to Geography. As something that is meant to convince the Admissions tutor to accept the applicant into their university, little has been done to convince the Admissions tutor of any interest in the chosen course or motivation to higher education.

Much too much emphasis is placed on irrelevant work experience and extracurriculars, although its good that skills are discussed. While this is also important and shows that the applicant is an active member in his or her school, this can be demonstrated in a paragraph or two short ones at most, not five. The applicant needs to use every statement to relate it to geography or even better, certain aspects within geography, such as human geography. Being so interested in tutoring children, an example would be how tutoring has motivated them to help more children realise their dreams to play football and therefore they wish to build infrastructure and promote education facilities in developing countries. It would be advisible for the applicant to read more and think of more relevant experiences and interests to make this PS more focused and convincing.

Grammar also needs some attention, particularly capitalisation, and in several places sentences need to be read over multiple time suggesting that it's too 'complicated' or grammatically incorrect and needs revising.

Comments on the statement:

I am interested in pursuing a geography We’re referring to a generic subject here, so this shouldn't be capitalised course at university. Similarly, "university" should never be capitalised unless you are referring to a specific university Studying geography will provide me with a better understanding of topical issues that affect the world around us, and also improve my presentation skills and independent learning skills. How though? Why would presentation/independent learning skills improve from a geography course but not a maths course, for example? This sentence suggests that the applicant has chosen geography partially because of the skills they will gain from it, and obviously this is misleading and needs a rethink I am currently studying A-levels in geography and drama Listing the A levels the applicant is taking is a waste of space because it can be found elsewhere in the application, so it's only worth including them if they're actually going to expand on the subjects themselves, for example to demonstrate certain skills or knowledge they gained from it., which have provided me with a keen interest in current affairs; The applicant has already mentioned "topical issues", instead of the vague mention of current affairs and development and environmental "issues" I would advise taking one specific issue and discussing it in this space, showing the admission tutor evidence of greater depth of intellectual curiosity in the discipline the applicant wishes to pursue therefore I am interested in areas such as development and environmental issues. Generally everything to do with A levels or college should be in the second paragraph, with the first paragraph being an introduction/background only

I feel that these subject areas will provide me with a sound background to build a degree. Unneccessary, the next paragraph can be used to properly demonstrate this. A single sentence doesn't really make a paragraph.

My interests in drama started early in college where I found that I enjoyed many of the techniques used within drama. What techniques? Why is it relevant for Geography? This gave me the confidence to take part in college productions, I have also developed my knowledge of Greek Tragedies, Physical Theatre and Monologues, These probably don't need capitalising. How is this is important for geography? and whilst studying an A-level in performing arts I have developed my leadership skills and confidence to a mature standard. The latter part of this paragraph is entirely irrelevant to why the applicant wishes to study Geography and this needs to be discussed first. It should instead be used to further demonstrate the applicant's interest and/or qualifications to study geography in higher education. Talking about other academic subjects can be a good idea if discussed in terms of skills, however if they're talking about subjects that are entirely irrelevant to their course and they don't demonstrate skills that would be useful in their course/in the future, then avoid it.

During my work experience with a professional armourer, I had the opportunity to broaden my knowledge in a diverse trade, which requires skill and extremely good technique. These two weeks helped me develop many transferable skills such as concentration and independent working. Work experience has also provided me with experience in a trade which can be used to fall back on, due to the fact that this is a family trade I therefore I have a platform in which to start up. This reads like a very complicated paragraph and the grammar/sentence structure really needs looking at, it's far too wordy Without having even pursued an education yet in the subject, to mention a completely unrelated career which the applicant has already thought of to "fall back on" will not sit well with the Admissions tutor. It does not demonstrate interest, motivation or perserverance but rather a lack of interest. Instead, this work experience should be used to highlight the development of personal skills.

Within college I play an active role within college and also within my tutor group. I was elected student Council Representative, which has not only developed my communications skills but furthered my organisation skills. How? It's important to be specific about how skills were developed I tutor the footbal team and helped out my tutor with international dimensions week, which consists of helping younger students to develop skills they can use in the future. I have also worked with the P.E department by refereeing sports day football. This paragraph should be shortened and most definitely merged with the one below.

As part of my personal development, I helped in a Year 7 drama class and used my own skills to help students out with plays, which taught me qualities of leadership such as motivation and patience.Much too vague and not that relevant to the applicant's course, given that the development of these personal skills has already been mentioned

My hobbies include a wide range of sports, most notably rugby where I play at club level and county level. I hope to use this sporting background to play in a university team. Good, but more emphasis should be placed on motivation to higher education. I also take a great interest in football, golf and I occasionally play tennis. I work part time within the college itself working in the Site Team, which has developed my reliability and communications skills. It's good that they're trying to get in as many skills as possible but it feels forced. They really have to demonstrate their skills, so rather than saying "I did this, which improved ____", they should be saying "I did this, which improved ____, because I had to do ____ and ____"

I regard myself to be an extremely friendly and hard working person. I have become very determined and independent as a result of pursuing my A-levels; and hope this provides a good foundation for university. Everyone does A-Levels to go to university, why does this make the applicant particularly special? I look forward to the challenge of university life and the opportunities that will arise as a result. What about a possible future career path? This could be mentioned to make this concluding paragraph stronger. It needs to discuss the applicants interest and aptitude for geography as this is what the tutor will remember the applicant by.