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  • Personal Statement:Law 2

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Contents

Law Personal Statement

How I See My Future?

Every person in life grows upon having a future, they would covet to see this as cheerfulness but, does everybody's life tern out to be cheerful? Well I would say considering your future would be all regarding what you aspiration to occur, but for definite not everything will occur and all your wishes are not bound to come true

Firstly I am going to talk about what stage of my life I am at, well so far in my life I am retaking my GCSE's as at school I failed only got a grade C in Art and design. The reason I failed was because of the death of my father. I am at the moment studying at Southgate College and I am doing GCSE English, Maths, Chemistry and ICT

In the future as for next year I hope to stay on at Southgate college and finish my GCSE in Physic, Biology and literature. I would like to take up A-Level Mathematics and Law. In the future I would like to become a lawyer . in order to become a lawyer I would like to study Law in university so I need Law a-level to do this. As for maths I need this for any kind of job I do and anywhere you go if you don't have the skill in maths it won't be very helpful for you. I also find maths and law exciting

Although I would like to become a lawyer, I would have to work hard towards this I would like to study in London universities, and do a sandwich course on la. This means that as well as studying I will also have the experience in this job afterwards. Although in order to study at university I will have to go into debt, because studying at university is quite expensive

In 2006, when I will be stating university, the prices are going up from one thousand five hundred pound to three thousand pounds. This is double the amount of fees that I will have to pay. Although the fees will not have to paid when I stat university but, the fees will be paid when I stat working through system similar to tax. Going to university would make a start to my career

I would like to plan my future as working hard towards becoming a lawyer and getting a job in London, why London? Well because London is a very big city and there are plenty of jobs available in this category. In the small towns of England there are not that many jobs available as this big city. By earning a degree I would say that I have earned my life a career. I would be able to stand on my own feet, so I can relay on myself

In my personal life I would not like a life partner but, I would like to be single, as I hate the idea of marriage. I have seen a lot of people with problems in their married life, what assurance do I have that that won't happen to me? I am aware that life is full of risks but, this risk I will never take. In my personal life I would like to keep in touch with my best friend Isheeta(ishy). Isheeta really helps me out at times when I need her. For example when my father died last year she came to me without me having to tell her and gave me courage to live on my life

In conclusion I would say that life is full of surprises. As you are not always aware of what will happen when. Today I may want to imagine what I anticipate to happen in the future . for example my father I loved him cared for him but, I never even thought that I will lose him at such a young age. All things happen in life but I believe that you should leave it on god he will do as much as he can to help us. We can't decide what will or will not happen, can we?

Comments

General Comments:

This PS takes the wrong approach – it is far too ‘general’ for the population/university study and not enough on why the applicant wants to study law at university and why they are a good candidate for the course. Overall, it is unclear as to why the applicant wants to study law (apart from to become a lawyer), and too much stuff that is irrelevant to the application is discussed. There are also serious issues with spelling and grammar – very important to get them right to impress admissions tutors.

Comments on the statement:

How I See My Future? Not a very good way to start a PS for a number of reasons. Firstly it's a waste of a paragraph on its own and hence if you're using line breaks between paragraphs (which you should do if possible), it's a waste of two precious lines. Secondly, it's a question, which doesn't really make complete grammatical sense, and it's rhetorical too - always avoid using rhetorical questions in a PS, it's just a waste of space. Thirdly, it should always be obvious from the first part, what subject you are applying for at university – the introduction should be on why you want to study the subject. Another thing that's wrong with this is the odd capitalisation of every word, which almost makes it like a title, but those aren't necessary at all

Every person in life grows upon having a future, they would covet to see this as cheerfulness but, does everybody's life turn out to be cheerful? Well I would say this is too informal considering your future would be all regarding what you aspiration to occur, but for definite not everything will occur and all your wishes are not bound to come true. Of course we can't know how everything will turn out in the future. This seems a bit obvious, so I don't think I would discuss it at all. The paragraph also doesn’t really make grammatical sense. It’s still unclear what the applicant wants to study – at least 2/3 of the PS should be on the course that the applicant wants to study.

First I am going to talk about what stage of my life I am at, These clauses are independent, and should be rewritten as separate sentence. well so far in my life I am retaking my GCSE's as at school I failed only got a grade C in Art and design. The reason I failed was because of the death of my father. I am at the moment studying at Southgate College and I am doing GCSE English, Maths, Chemistry and ICT Your school and the GCSEs you are currently studying will be included elsewhere on your UCAS form, so it's redundant to include them here. As you only have 4000 characters, you want to make the most of them—don't include information that is readily available elsewhere in the same form. I'd suggest you ask your referee to explain why you failed your GCSEs the first time in his or her statement. That is a more appropriate place to explain poor marks. You might also see if the universities to which you are applying have special procedures for people applying after family losses. The whole tone of this paragraph is too ‘conversation’ like, also (e.g. ‘First, I am going to talk about...’.

In the future as for next year this is overly word, which wastes characters unnecessarily – ‘next year’ would be enough! I hope to stay on at Southgate college if you are mentioning the name of your college, ‘college’ would need capitalisation, but it is not necessary to mention it at all and finish my GCSE in physics, biology and literature. This should only be capitalised when saying ‘GCSE Physics’, for example. I would like to take up A-Level Mathematics and Law. In the future I would like to become a lawyer. These sentences are short and don’t really flow well together. Also, given that law is an academic course, rather than vocational, you should focus on why you want to study law, instead of why you want to be a lawyer in order to become a lawyer I would like to study law in university so I need law A-Level to do this. You don't need to study law at uni to become a lawyer, nor do you need to do A-Level law to study law at uni. I would delete this sentence, and instead explain why you want to study law, as opposed to something else, at uni. It’s also totally unnecessary and wastes characters As for maths too informal I need this for any kind of job I do and anywhere you go if you don't have the skill in maths it won't be very helpful for you. This doesn’t really make sense grammatically. Also, contractions should be avoided, as this is a formal document. You need to focus on the course, rather than a career. Why would maths be useful for law? (if indeed, it is!) I also find maths and law exciting. This needs elaborating on – why is law exciting? It is ill-advised to mention that another subject is interesting/exciting, as it could make the admissions tutors question your dedication to the subject you’re applying for.

Although I would like to become a lawyer, I would have to work hard towards this. This is obvious and isn’t expanded on, so there is no point in it being in here. Also, make sure the sentence is punctuated correctly I would like to study in London universities, and do a sandwich course on la. Given that the course subject is more important than the location, it is unnecessary to mention this. Also, proof-reading is essential – presumably ‘la’ is meant to be ‘law’. Also, it is important to ensure that if you mention a sandwich course, that all your unis offer that. This means that as well as studying I will also have the experience in this job afterwards. Although in order to study at university I will have to go into debt, because studying at university is quite expensive. This is the same for the vast majority of applicants for any subject – it’s not necessary to mention it at all.

In 2006, when I will be starting university, the prices are going up from one thousand five hundred pound to three thousand pounds. This is double the amount of fees that I will have to pay. Although the fees will not have to paid when I start university but, the fees will be paid when I start working through system similar to tax. Going to university would make a start to my career. This paragraph is unnecessary. It does not explain why you want to study law, or why you are a good candidate to do so. You might want to explain that university will help you achieve your career goals, but this could just be in the conclusion. I don't think you should take space from your personal statement to talk about how you're paying for university.

I would like to plan my future as working hard towards becoming a lawyer and getting a job in London, why London? This sentence is awkward and convoluted. Well because too informal London is a very big city and there are plenty of jobs available in this category. In the small towns of England there are not that many jobs available as this big city. This makes it look like you're badmouthing small towns, which isn’t really a message you want to put across. By earning a degree I would say that I have earned my life a career. I would be able to stand on my own feet, so I can relay on myself I don't think this sentence has a place in a PS at all. It ought to be “rely”, not “relay”, in any case. It’s not a good idea to say you want to work in London – there are legal jobs in other cities, and your career ambitions in an academic degree are not important. Focus on why you want to study the degree first – you still need further study after an LLB. Also, being independent is a notable aspiration, but it’s not a good thing to focus too much on in a PS.

In my personal life I would not like a life partner but, I would like to be single, as I hate the idea of marriage. I have seen a lot of people with problems in their married life, what assurance do I have that that won't happen to me? I am aware that life is full of risks but, this risk I will never take. In my personal life I would like to keep in touch with my best friend Isheeta (Ishy). Isheeta really helps me out at times when I need her. For example when my father died last year she came to me without me having to tell her and gave me courage to live on my life

This paragraph is inappropriate for a PS. Your plans for getting married are staying single aren't relevant to your course or going to university. Other people's martial problems are irrelevant. As previously noted, discussion of personal struggle is probably more appropriate to your reference. This is personal information, and shouldn't be discussed in an application to university.

In conclusion I would say that life is full of surprises. Saying “in conclusion” is somewhat banal, and “I would say that life is full of surprises” is so clichéd as to be meaningless. As you are not always aware of what will happen when. This is a sentence fragment. Today I may want to imagine what I anticipate to happen in the future. For example my father I loved him cared for him but, I never even thought that I will lose him at such a young age. All things happen in life but I believe that you should leave it on god he will do as much as he can to help us. It's not appropriate to invoke God in a PS. We can't decide what will or will not happen, can we? This is a very weak ending, as it is another cliché, and doesn't actually say anything substantive.

This paragraph doesn’t contribute to your PS – your conclusion should sum up why you want to study law and why you are a good candidate instead of this



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