Personal Statement:Law 4

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Law Personal Statement

My interest in reading law stems from an early exposure to the subject. I sometimes accompanied my grandfather to courts and was quick to later on imitate the inquisitive, argumentative, critical as well as negotiating characters of lawyers. Eventually, I decided I would become one. My chosen subjects have always reflected this decision and in my years 10 and 11, I won the Best-in-History award, while being highly competitive in English Language and Literature, Government and Religious Studies. At my A-Level stage, I thoroughly enjoy the research, analysis and writing that goes on in my chosen subjects of English Literature, Economics & Business Studies, Politics and Theology, most especially the latter two

Securing a work experience placement with Withers Solicitors, London enabled me to interact with solicitors and gain an insight to various aspects of the legal profession such as will drafting and family law

This increased my anxiety to study law. During my last spring holiday (April 2001), I got a job working as a receptionist in Chalk Hill Heath Centre, Wembley, London. Apart from the dignity of labour I gained from doing the work, the experience of working with a wide variety of patients including the obdurate has improved my communication skills

My participation in the Model United Nations (MUN) conferences run by some schools in Europe and the USA has improved my debating skills, public speaking and helped me to cultivate the habit of researching as well as negotiating. These qualities are essential in the study and practise of law. In the Belfast 2001 MUN conference my delegation received the 'Commended Delegation' award due to our hardwork and team effort

With my reputation as a morally upright student, I was appointed to the highly responsible post of Anglican Chapel Prefect of my school from May 1999 to June 2000 and my task included mobilising students to attend worship on Sundays, as well as assisting other school prefects to run the school. My good communication skills helped to elect me to the office of the Secretary-General of the Photography Club from September 1999 to June 2000, during which I was responsible for minuting meetings and organising club activities. I co-organised a successful Afro-Caribbean Night at my school last May by which we raised seven hundred pounds for Hope and Homes Charity Organisation

At present I am a House Prefect. These various positions of responsibility have sharpened my leadership and organisation skills, as well as helped me develop team spirit - a necessity in life

Nevertheless, I enjoy working independently

In my leisure time I occupy myself by playing sports, reading, watching films, listening to music or meeting with friends as they help to relax my mind. My favourite sports are table tennis and swimming and my favourite author is George Orwell. My wide travelling has enabled me to appreciate the diversity in the world

I look forward to the prospect of studying law at your university because I am sure that I can make a success of the course. With all due modesty, I know that I am one of the law students you are looking for because of my analytical and negotiating skills, work experience, team as well as individualistic spirit, intelligence, ability to focus and cope with pressure andgood sense of humour.

Comments

General Comments:

This is a fairly well written statement, although it does almost seem to be too sure of itself. It may require some toning down so as not to appear too cocky.

There seems to be a complete lack of full stops, which is a bad move, especially since there is ample room for the applicant to have added these in. There's also the issue that several paragraphs are obviously in the wrong order, or are spectacularly short.

Although the applicant covers several topics, the focus seems to be on extra curricular activities, with not much of the statement being devoted to answering the question of why the applicant particularly wants to study law.

Comments on the statement:

My interest in reading law stems from an early exposure to the subject. I sometimes accompanied my grandfather to courts and was quick to later on imitate the inquisitive, argumentative, critical as well as 'and' would suffice just as well, here negotiating characters of lawyers. Eventually, I decided I would become one. Become what? A cat? Maybe a candle? It would be far better to say 'eventually, I decided that I wanted to become a lawyer'. My chosen subjects have always reflected this decision and in my years 10 and 11, I won the Best-in-History award, while being highly competitive in English Language and Literature, Government and Religious Studies. At my A-Level stage, I thoroughly enjoy the research, analysis and writing that goes on in my chosen subjects of English Literature, Economics & Business Studies, Politics and Theology, most especially the latter two.

Securing a work experience placement with Withers Solicitors, London enabled me to interact with solicitors and gain an insight to various aspects of the legal profession such as will drafting and family law. How long was this placement? What exactly did you do whilst on it? Expand more, if you can.

This increased my anxiety to study law. During my last spring holiday (April 2001), I got a job working as a receptionist in Chalk Hill Heath Centre, Wembley, London. Apart from the dignity of labour I gained from doing the work, the experience of working with a wide variety of patients including the obdurate has improved my communication skills. These two paragraphs should be put together, as they both relate to the other. It would be better to say something like 'my anxiety to study law was increased by securing a placement...

My participation in the Model United Nations (MUN) conferences run by some schools in Europe and the USA has improved my debating skills, public speaking and helped me to cultivate the habit of researching as well as negotiating. These qualities are essential in the study and practise of law. In the Belfast 2001 MUN conference my delegation received the 'Commended Delegation' award due to our hardwork and team effort.

With my reputation as a morally upright student, I was appointed to the highly responsible post of Anglican Chapel Prefect of my school from May 1999 to June 2000 and my task included mobilising students to attend worship on Sundays, as well as assisting other school prefects to run the school. My good communication skills helped to elect me to the office of the Secretary-General of the Photography Club from September 1999 to June 2000, during which I was responsible for minuting meetings and organising club activities. I co-organised a successful Afro-Caribbean Night at my school last May by which we raised seven hundred pounds for Hope and Homes Charity Organisation

At present I am a House Prefect. These various positions of responsibility have sharpened my leadership and organisation skills, as well as helped me develop team spirit - a necessity in life I feel it would be far better to place all of your school type things together; so moving the parts about the applicant's work experience lower down, whilst moving the parts regarding school responsibilities further up.

Nevertheless, I enjoy working independently again, these two sentences need not be two different paragraphs. It would be better for the applicant to slot in their independent working skills in before their team playing skills.

In my leisure time I occupy myself by playing sports, reading, watching films, listening to music or meeting with friends as they help to relax my mind. My favourite sports are table tennis and swimming and my favourite author is George Orwell. My wide travelling has enabled me to appreciate the diversity in the world

I look forward to the prospect of studying law at your university because I am sure that I can make a success of the course. With all due modesty, I know that I am one of the law students you are looking for because of my analytical and negotiating skills, work experience, team as well as individualistic spirit, intelligence, ability to focus and cope with pressure and good sense of humour. This paragraph seems to be slightly garbled, and needs a slight toning down of the applicant's obvious confidence within his own abilities.