Personal Statement:Mathematics 4

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Mathematics Personal Statement

I have chosen to study Mathematics at university because I enjoy its challenging nature and get particular satisfaction from addressing its more demanding aspects. Problem solving appeals to me as does the requirement for intellectual commitment when addressing this subject at a higher level.

My profound interest was prompted by my attending a series of Maths Masterclasses at the Royal Institute of Mathematics in Year 9. The lectures addressed problems which required a greater depth of inquiry than those I had come across before, and this led me to explore problems which I would not have otherwise encountered.

This interest in problem solving was furthered by my success in the Junior and Senior Maths Challenges, achieving Gold and Best in School in Years 10 and 11. As a result I took the Invitational Maths Challenge (Yr 10/11) and last year entered the British Maths Olympiad Qualifier.

Interestingly enough I have also found that there are strong mathematical influences in two of my other A level subjects, Economics and Philosophy. Economics allows the application in a practical context whilst Philosophy employs the same logical processes.

Earlier this year I gained international work experience, spending two weeks as an English teaching assistant in the Södra Latins Gymnasium, one of the largest colleges in Stockholm. My time there was altogether enriching, giving me the opportunity to experience a completely different environment, and enabling me to develop my public speaking and people skills.

Last year I took part in the World Challenge Programme. This required the raising of GBP2500 through a variety of fund-raising events and jobs before travelling in Thailand for four weeks with a group from school.

It was one of the most rewarding experiences of my life, particularly our time spent working in an orphanage on the Thai-Burmese border.

During this time I also undertook the role of accountant, and was responsible for monitoring and analysing the finances for our group of sixteen people. It was an interesting challenge tackling the variety of problems which arose whilst living on such a tight budget.

During my period of fund-raising I also had a very enjoyable and rewarding time working as a crèche-volunteer at the Holy Trinity Brompton, where I had responsibility for a group of 12 - 20 month old children every Sunday morning.

More recently I have been involved in the initiation of an Economic Periodical with some members of my class, and I have just been invited to participate in the Bank of England/Times interest rate challenge, 'Target 2 Point 5', as a member of the team of four economists from Latymer.

I am an enthusiastic artist, continuing with my Art A level, and enjoy visiting the numerous galleries around London and creating my own pieces, both in school and in my spare time.

I also enjoy the piano, which I play to Grade 6, and singing, in which I have a distinction at Grade 4 and participate in the school choirs.

I was able to combine my love of performing with my love of singing when taking both major and supporting roles in several middle school productions.

Comments

General Comments:

The applicant makes a good start, but the statement quickly loses its way. The statement has no clear structure and there is no progression. As a result there are too many paragraphs, about 5-6 is optimal including an introduction and conclusion. Mathematics is a logical, precise subject and this should be reflected in the personal statement to demonstrate that the applicant can write with focus and progress the statement in a logical manner. A personal statement should be written like an essay to convey an argument of how the applicant has developed their interest and how their experiences have helped them to develop the necessary skills.

The statement lacks subject specific content and there is too much discussion of extra-curricular activities. It's important to relate everything to mathematics and how the applicant's experiences developed their interest and skills in the subject. Even when discussing their artistic side, its important to indirectly relate to maths (i.e. transferable skills) in addition to showing they're not a workaholic and have interests outside of the subject.

The ending of the statement is poor and the statement would benefit from a conclusion to end on something maths related and which summarises what has been said in the statement. Perhaps they could discuss their hopes for the future and how they hope to use the degree.

Comments on the statement:

I have chosen to study mathematics The subject is lower case, although the name of an actual course is a proper noun and so should be capitalised at university because I enjoy its challenging nature This could imply that the applicant is struggling with their current level of mathematics and they shouldn't imply this without further justification, i.e. explaining the satisfaction of solving a challenging problem. and get particular satisfaction from addressing its more demanding aspects. It's also worth expanding upon what the demanding aspects are. Problem solving appeals to me as does the requirement for intellectual commitment when addressing this subject at a higher level. School can't really be considered a "higher level" of mathematics. What problems appeal? This is currently a bit too vague and it's important to appear concise, logical and structured, especially for a subjec such as maths.

My profound interest was prompted by my attending a series of mathematics masterclasses at the Royal Institute of Mathematics in Year 9. Good The lectures addressed problems which required a greater depth of inquiry than those I had come across before, and this led me to explore problems which I would not have otherwise encountered A little more detail on the specifics of what problems were looked at would show more of an interest and show that they've properly thought about it when writing the statement.

This interest in problem solving was furthered by my success in the Junior and Senior Maths Challenges, achieving Gold and Best in School in Years 10 and 11. Expand on what aspects of it the applicant found enjoyable. It needs to be discussed in terms of what they gained from it and how it increased their interest in studying maths. As a result I took the Invitational Maths Challenge (Yr 10/11) and last year entered the British Maths Olympiad Qualifier brackets of what year it was are not required. This detail isn't important and brackets in a statement look messy. Much more important to discuss what the applicant got out of it!

Interestingly enough I have also found that there are strong mathematical influences in two of my other A level subjects, Economics and Philosophy. Very little is actually said in this first sentence and it serves only as a needlessly long introduction to the following sentence. Space is precious in a personal statement and it's important not to waste any on long lead ins. Economics allows the application of maths in a practical context whilst philosophy employs the same logical processes Good, but explain why this is relevant to an application to study maths at university

Earlier this year I gained international work experience, spending two weeks as an English teaching assistant in the Södra Latins Gymnasium, one of the largest colleges in Stockholm. This shows that the applicant is outgoing My time there was altogether enriching, giving me the opportunity to experience a completely different environment, and enabling me to develop my public speaking and people skills Relate this to maths if possible. Even showing an appreciation of people skills (explicitly what?) and public speaking in maths would be a good improvement.

Last year I took part in the World Challenge Programme. This required the raising of GBP2500 through a variety of fund-raising events and jobs before travelling in Thailand for four weeks with a group from school. It's important to show that the applicant has interests outside of maths, but it's still important where possible to relate this to skills gained from the experience which indirectly relate to maths (like the people skills above).

It was one of the most rewarding experiences of my life, particularly our time spent working in an orphanage on the Thai-Burmese border. Why? The location of this extra-curricular activity is also strange and it should come later in the statement after the more relevant maths related discussion.

During this time I also undertook the role of accountant, and was responsible for monitoring and analysing the finances for our group of sixteen people. As well as simply stating the experience, it's critical to discuss it in the context of why it is beneficial for a maths degree or how it developed an interest, otherwise why include it? What maths did the applicant use? Did they enjoy it? Is there any mathematics or statistics knowledge that they learned independently that can be included?

It was an interesting challenge tackling the variety of problems which arose whilst living on such a tight budget. This isn't relevant.

During my period of fund-raising I also had a very enjoyable and rewarding time working as a crèche-volunteer at the Holy Trinity Brompton, where I had responsibility for a group of 12 - 20 month old children every Sunday morning. This is not very relevant to an application for mathematics. It could be given a passing mention, but the name of the place, the age range of the children and the timing certainly is not needed and is excessive detail.

More recently I have been involved in the initiation of an economics periodical More detail is needed on what this is? with some members of my class, and I have just been invited to participate in the Bank of England/Times interest rate challenge, 'Target 2 Point 5', as a member of the team of four economists from Latymer What bearing does this have on an application for mathematics?

I am an enthusiastic artist, continuing with my Art A level, and enjoy visiting the numerous galleries around London and creating my own pieces, both in school and in my spare time. A single sentence doesn't make a paragraph and it would be better to incorporate all the applicant's extra curricular interests into a single paragraph towards the end of the statement

I also enjoy the piano, which I play to Grade 6, and singing, in which I have a distinction at Grade 4 and play an integral role in the school choirs. Participate is a weak word so the applicant has an opportunity to big themselves up here, while playing on a slight maths pun.

I was able to combine my love of performing with my love of singing when taking both major and supporting roles in several middle school productions. Not relevant to a mathematics application at university and not a good ending for a personal statement.