Personal Statement:Medicine 3

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Medicine Personal Statement

For as long as I can remember, I have always wanted a career that involves helping and caring for people. Combined with my love of science, especially chemistry, I feel that a career in medicine would be perfect to me. The areas of pathology and pharmacology have been of great interest to me since I began my research into medical training, and I aim to pursue a career in these fields. I would enjoy the challenge of looking at diseases, finding cures, and being able to help people

Despite medical training, and medical practice, being extremely demanding and highly stressful, the challenge would be, for me, extremely rewarding and worthwhile, especially as it has been my ambition for so long

The subjects I am studying at A level have helped me develop many skills I feel would be important to medicine. Chemistry has helped me to develop analytical skills as well as an aptitude for research and experimental projects. The units we have been studying, entitled 'What's in a medicine?' and 'Medicines by design' would, I feel, be an asset to anyone choosing to study medicine. Physics again helped me to develop research and analytical skills, especially data analysis skills

Though my Computer Studies A level is not directly related to medicine, computing abilities are of great importance in all professions, as more and more technological advancements are being made. Computer Studies has also allowed me to improve my communicative and research capabilities

At the age of 15 I completed a work experience placement in the local junior school. This involved working with children from the ages of four to eleven. This experience, though not medical, allowed me to work with and help people, which I found especially rewarding. During the summer holidays I plan to participate in a period of work experience at Carmarthen Hospital. I have also registered to take part in a St Johns Ambulance first aid course in September 2001, which I hope will be beneficial to me. I have undertaken volunteer work at a local school, helping with both art and gym clubs, which again have allowed me to work with children, which I find very satisfying

In the past I have travelled to Switzerland, Italy and Ireland, all experiences I totally enjoyed. In the future I would like to travel further a field, particularly to Asia. I would also like to help third world countries, and to work as a doctor for charities helping these countries. As well as travelling I enjoy reading, especially horror and medical fiction, by authors such as Steven King and Michael Crichton. Recently I have joined Tai Chi classes, and I attend these regularly along with aerobics. I also take step aerobics classes and attend the gym at the nearby leisure centre. These are all activities I hope to continue with through university, as well as taking up new ones.

Comments

General Comments

This statement is well written and reasonably well structured. It would benefit from having more detail in the work experience paragraph and a good conclusion as it is lacking this at the moment. Lengthwise, it is rather shorter, coming in at under 75% of the available space – the applicant would benefit from using this space to go into more depth with what they are talking about and trying to reflect more on what they've learnt, linking more back to medicine.

Comments on this Statement

For as long as I can remember, I have always wanted a career that involves helping and caring for people. Combined with my love of science, especially chemistry, I feel that a career in medicine would be perfect to me. These first 2 sentences are almost the biggest clichés you might see in medicine personal statements, and while they may be perfectly true as far as the applicant is concerned, they won't allow the applicant to stand out at all or capture the reader's attention instantly. Instead of just stating that they want a career involved in helping and caring for people, the applicant should try to explain why they want that sort of career. In general, the idea of the combination of science and caring can apply to a huge number of careers, not just in healthcare. The applicant should try to make their opening more relevant to medicine in particular. The other comment I have on this opening phrase is the reference to chemistry in particular – while it is the subject that most medical schools require, it is not necessarily the one that is most relevant to medicine. The areas of pathology and pharmacology have been of great interest to me since I began my research into medical training, and I aim to pursue a career in these fields. I would enjoy the challenge of looking at diseases, finding cures, and being able to help people. It is good that the applicant has highlighted a couple of areas they find particularly interesting, however, some explanation of why they're interested would be helpful here. It is also a bit dodgy to specify which fields the applicant wants to go into in the personal statement as they usually won't have had much experience of any other areas. This introduction is definitely along the right lines, the applicant is trying to explain why they want to study medicine. They just need to go into the 'whys' a bit more.

Despite medical training, and medical practice, being extremely demanding and highly stressful, the challenge would be, for me, extremely rewarding and worthwhile, especially as it has been my ambition for so long. This is far too short to be a paragraph on its own- one sentence doesn't make a paragraph! I don't think this particular sentence adds anything to the statement. Instead, the applicant would benefit from talking about what they've done to find out that medicine is the right course for them and discussing what some of the demands and stresses are.

The subjects I am studying at A level have helped me develop many skills I feel would be important to medicine. Chemistry and physics have helped me to develop analytical skills as well as an aptitude for research and experimental projects. The units we have been studying, entitled 'What's in a medicine?' and 'Medicines by design' would, I feel, be an asset to anyone choosing to study medicine. Physics again helped me to develop research and analytical skills, especially data analysis skills. As the applicant has mentioned analytical skills and research a few times now, the impression the reader gets is that they want to go into research. I don't think they need to repeat the bit about analytical skills, instead they could talk about why they are important for medicine.

Though my computer studies A level is not directly related to medicine, computing abilities are of great importance in all professions, as more and more technological advancements are being made. Computer studies has also allowed me to improve my communicative and research capabilities .This shouldn't be a paragraph on its own – it should be combined with the rest of the discussion on A level subjects.

At the age of 15 fifteen I completed a work experience placement in the a local junior school. This involved working with children from the ages of four to eleven. This experience, though not medical, allowed me to work with and help people, which I found especially rewarding. The applicant needs to talk about what they learned from this experience and any skills they gained that might be relevant to or important for medicine. During the summer holidays I plan to participate in a period of work experience at Carmarthen Hospital. It would be helpful here for the applicant to talk about what they hope to gain from this particular work experience. I have also registered to take part in a St Johns Ambulance first aid course in September 2001, which I hope will be beneficial to me. Talking about why the first aid course would be beneficial could be a good thing to add in here as well as any particular skills the applicant hopes to gain from the course. I have undertaken volunteer work at a local school, helping with both art and gym clubs, which again have allowed me to work with children, which I find very satisfying. Again, talking about what they've learned and any skills they've developed as a result of this experience would be helpful. The applicant has a bit of experience here but no direct medical experience at the time of application so they have to try and use their other experiences to show an understanding of the sorts of skills doctors need. The experiences they've had can be used to demonstrate that the applicant has several important skills as well, which hasn't been done here.

In the past I have travelled to Switzerland, Italy and Ireland, all experiences I totally enjoyed. In the future I would like to travel further a field, particularly to Asia. I would also like to help third world countries, and to work as a doctor for charities helping these countries. This is a nice bit to add in, though not necessary and if the applicant were struggling to keep the characters down, it would be something they could manage without. As well as travelling I enjoy reading, especially horror and medical fiction, by authors such as Steven King and Michael Crichton. Recently I have joined Tai Chi classes, and I attend these regularly along with aerobics. I also take step aerobics classes and attend the gym at the nearby leisure centre. These are all activities I hope to continue with through university, as well as taking up new ones. I usually recommend trying to relate everything back to medicine, so in this case I'd suggest that if the applicant does these activities for relaxation, they refer to the stresses of medicine and the importance of a good work-life balance.