Personal Statement:Medicine 37

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Medicine Personal Statement

When I was a child, I always dreamt of a career in the Humanities. I loved languages and Literature. As I grew up and began studying subjects in more depth, this love became overshadowed by my love for the sciences. I was fascinated by the amount of information that could be acquired, by how much humans could learn about themselves. The only thing I found more intriguing than this information, was what could be done with it. There was clearly a beauty in being able to use acquired knowledge to save a life or ease somebody's pain. Slowly, a career in Medicine began to appeal to me and as the years went by, it became the only career I could consider.

Having six younger siblings helped me on my way to early maturity, vigilance and becoming a caring person. I had many duties and was looked upon to shoulder a great amount of responsibility. I always made sure I performed to the best of my abilities. This led me to be given many responsibilities at school too. I was crowned Exemplary Pupil from the year 2000 to 2005 and was also made a prefect. I also translated articles for the school magazine and helped out with the school elections. I had to learn how to juggle all this with my GCSE's too. At the time of my GCSE's, I was living in Saudi Arabia and the school I attended was Arabic Medium. This meant that the only way I was able to do my GCSE's was by doing them at home with little help. It taught me how to be an independent student and gave me an in depth education in two languages up to secondary level.

While I was still living in Saudi Arabia, I looked for a way to understand being a doctor and caring for others as much as possible. I was very grateful to be allowed to shadow a team of neurosurgeons at The National Guard Hospital. For the first time, I saw real life medicine. It was brought to my attention how accurate and observant doctors must be. Being a doctor was a combination of being professional, compassionate and diligent, while never forgetting to smile and offer patients words of support, no matter how promising or hopeless the situation seems. My attraction to the profession increased. I was also allowed to observe a surgical procedure, the insertion of a VP shunt into a baby with Hydrocephalus. The procedure was quite short, but I left in wonder and wishing for more.

During the summer, I began volunteering with Birmingham Focus on Blindness for ten hours a week, where the majority of service users suffer from multiple disabilities. Every day I spend in the organization, I learn so much about caring for those who need it. The self-gratification I feel every time I am able to assist a service user is one of the strongest emotions I've experienced. I plan to spend my gap year as productively as possible. I am preparing to spend at least a month in Ghana, assisting in an orphanage. I hope this will allow me to be a positive impact in the lives of the children there. On my return, I will continue helping at Birmingham Focus on Blindness and intend to get a job at a care home, where I hope to gain further insight into the healthcare system. I also plan to use my gap year to explore my current hobbies, cooking, exercising and novel writing in more depth and hope to take on new challenges, which include skydiving and learning British Sign Language.

Being a career which combines scientific knowledge with care work, I see Medicine as the way to live my life to the fullest, doing the things I love best. I feel that I will be an efficient doctor and hope that I will bring much happiness to my future patients. I hope to make an impact on the world, by making a positive impact on as many lives as possible and offering all I have.

Comments

General Comments:

This is generally a good statement, but there is still quite a lot of room for improvement. However, more insight needs to be mentioned in relation to knowledge of being a doctor, gained through their work experience and it should be at the beginning of the statement.

Comments on the statement:

When I was a child, this is a very clichéd way to start a PS I always dreamt of a career in the humanities. I loved languages and Literature. The opening of the statement should really emphasise the applicant's desire for medicine, rather than their love of humanities. As I grew up and began studying subjects in more depth, this love this word is a bit risky to use in a PS, it’s not really formal enough became overshadowed by my love for the sciences. Maybe combine this sentence with the sentence below? I was fascinated by the amount of information that could be acquired, by how much humans could learn about themselves. The only thing I found more intriguing than this information, was what could be done with it. There was clearly a beauty in being able to use acquired knowledge to save a life or ease somebody's pain. Slowly, this isn’t the best way to describe how they decided on a career in medicine! a career in medicine began to appeal to me and as the years went by, it became the only career I could consider. If the bit about the humanities is removed, this could be a good intro. However, it could be improved by mentioning more about why medicine is the career for them, rather than the ability to apply the science information. The bit about the general science could be cut down a bit too.

Having six younger siblings helped me on my way to early maturity, vigilance and becoming a caring person. I had many duties and was looked upon to shoulder a great amount of responsibility. It isn’t a good idea to mention this sort of thing, especially in the second paragraph of a medicine PS; instead, the applicant should probably be outlining their work experience I always made sure I performed to the best of my abilities. This led me to be given many responsibilities at school too. These sentences don’t flow well together, as they are too short. I was crowned Exemplary Pupil from the year 2000 to 2005 this should come from the referee, not the applicant and was also made a prefect. I also translated articles for the school magazine and helped out with the school elections. Some good stuff here, but it should be at the end of the statement, after the applicant has spoken about their work experience and volunteering. The applicant could also talk about skills gained and how they relate to medicine. I had to learn how to juggle all this with my GCSEs too. This sentence isn’t necessary: many applicants have extra responsibilities/activities that they do during GCSEs, so this isn’t important At the time of my GCSEs, I was living in Saudi Arabia and the school I attended was Arabic Medium. It isn’t important to mention this in your PS and will most likely be in the ‘education’ section of a UCAS application This meant that the only way I was able to do my GCSEs was by doing not the best word to use them at home with little help. It taught me how to be an independent student Perhaps learner, rather than student and gave me an in depth education in two languages up to secondary level. This is the sort of thing that could easily be mentioned in a reference – it would save space for more things related to medicine specifically.

While I was still living in Saudi Arabia, I looked for a way to understand being a doctor and caring for others as much as possible. it should be obvious the best way to understand being a doctor, so just jump straight into explaining the work experience I was very grateful to be allowed to shadow a team of neurosurgeons at The National Guard Hospital. For the first time, I saw real life medicine. This is a bit informal and probably not true, as most people will have been to the doctors/hospital. However, it IS seeing medicine from a different point of view It was brought to my attention how accurate and observant doctors must be. Being a doctor was a combination of being professional, compassionate and diligent, while never forgetting to smile and offer patients words of support, no matter how promising or hopeless the situation seems. This is a good start, but at the moment it’s too much like a list. Instead, the applicant could expand on it by answering questions like ‘why is it important for doctors to be like that?’ or ‘how did the doctors achieve this?’ or ‘how did this make the applicant want to study medicine?’. My attraction to the profession increased. This would be quite obvious, as they are applying to train as one after all! It’s not necessary I was also allowed to observe a surgical procedure, the insertion of a VP shunt into a baby with Hydrocephalus. The procedure was quite short, but I left in wonder and wishing for more. The applicant should explain what they gained from this experience, rather than just "wonder". Otherwise this adds very little.

During the summer, I began volunteering with Birmingham Focus on Blindness it’s not important to say where, just say ‘at a charity for blind people’ for example for ten hours a week, where the majority of service users suffer from multiple disabilities. Every day I spend in the organisation, British spelling I learn so much about caring for those who need it. What has the applicant learned/what did they do here? This needs to focus on demonstrating skills and understanding gained. The self-gratification I don't really like "self-gratification", talk about emotion in more general terms? I feel every time I am able to assist a service user is one of the strongest emotions I have experienced. This could be explained more explicitly, as well as relating it back to medicine/skills gained that will be useful for medicine I plan to spend my gap year This should be rephrased; I am now preparing to take a gap year... as productively as possible. This should be a given really! Most people wouldn’t plan on spending their gap year sitting around at home I am preparing to spend at least a month in Ghana, assisting in an orphanage. I hope this will allow me to be a positive impact in the lives of the children there. What about anything to do with medicine and how the health care situation is in Ghana? Will you experience any of this? On my return, I will continue helping at Birmingham Focus on Blindness and intend to get a job at a care home, where I hope to gain further insight into the healthcare system Mentioning working in a caring setting would sound better here. I also plan to use my gap year to explore my current hobbies, cooking, exercising and novel writing in more depth and hope to take on new challenges, which include skydiving and learning British Sign Language. It is good that the applicant has these things to talk about, but they shouldn't just be a list. BSL could be linked to the need to desire to develop communication skills.

Being As a career which combines scientific knowledge with care work, I see studying medicine as the way to live my life to the fullest, rather clichéd doing the things I love best. What things? I feel that I will be an efficient doctor why? and hope that I will bring much happiness to my future patient. This sounds awkward. I hope to make an impact on the world, by making a positive impact on as many lives as possible and offering all I have.

With the changes suggested above, this wouldn't be a bad conclusion.