Personal Statement:Medicine 39

Medicine Personal Statement

Medicine appeals to me greatly not only because of the scientific character of the study, but also the social, interactive nature of its practice. During my gap year, I have had the opportunity to work at a Memory Treatment Clinic. Whilst I developed my understanding of illnesses such as Alzheimer’s, I also began to value that a career in medicine involves life-long learning. Working full-time as a clinic clerk at ********** this year, I aim to expand on my knowledge of gastroenterology, observe the teamwork of both medical and non-medical staff and learn about how to cope with pressure in a medical environment.

Whilst shadowing doctors in the Accident and Emergency department at the *********, I learnt the importance of effective communication and empathy along the spectrum from paediatrics to geriatrics. Talking to patients helped me to realise the value of compassion and consideration needed in patient care. This exposure also demonstrated the emotional stress upon doctors, as well as the reality of working in the NHS. Although it was a different experience to what I had expected, it fuelled my enthusiasm to become a doctor. A placement with a general practitioner revealed another perspective of medicine and enabled me to gain an insight into the responsibilities involved in primary care. From observing the practice nurse performing general health checks and immunisation I was able to appreciate the importance of another member of the healthcare team and the significance of a multidisciplinary team to patient care.

Volunteering at a hospice showed that medicine is not only about healing or preventative measures; it can also be about improving a patient’s quality of life through palliative care. The experience of talking to the patients was not only humbling but I also grew to appreciate that, although two individual patients may suffer from the same condition, they manage their lives uniquely and respond to treatment differently. On a weekly basis, I have worked voluntarily beside disabled volunteers at my local Mencap charity shop. Last year I participated in their Summer Project 2006, which supports children with severe disabilities who were often wheelchair-bound. Working so closely with the children and volunteers enabled me to improve my communication skills, gain a greater understanding of people’s needs and form trusting relationships. Achieving this required dedication and I felt a great sense of fulfilment.

At school, I was an active member and became a 'Maths Mentor', creating teaching aids for junior members of the school. In my previous school, I was selected to be a prefect and as the school council representative I had to effectively convey opinions of peers and learnt to manage conflicting scenarios. These positions of responsibility required me to be reliable, understanding and strengthened my leadership skills.

I have been on the committee for a Cultural Society and a 'Business Incentive Scheme', which both needed organisational and teamwork skills. I proved to be able to work both as part of a team and independently, making and taking responsibility for decisions. I sing South Indian classical music and participate in public events, giving me a great sense of pride and achievement. This ancient art has taught me to value my cultural heritage whilst performing has increased my confidence.

While my experiences have exposed me to the emotional challenges I will face throughout my medical career, they have also stimulated my aspiration and determination to pursue medicine. I anticipate the demands of this vocation and fully intend to contribute academically and socially to university life.

 

Comments

General Comments:

This PS is a good basis to work from, but it appears to suffer from ‘too much work experience to mention it all in detail’ syndrome. It’s best to talk about a few things in detail than try and include every aspect of work experience. Their referee can mention the ones they have no room to mention in the PS. This means they've got space to properly discuss their observations, thoughts and interests from their time. They really need to reflect more on their experiences, to show that they are fully aware of what it is like to be a doctor and show that they feel like they have the right skills and qualities to be one.

 

Comments on the statement:

Medicine appeals to me greatly not only because of the scientific character of the study, but also the social, interactive nature of its practice. This is a good starting sentence as it's different from all of the cliches usually written. However, it’s not particularly personal to the applicant. This could be improved by answering questions such as ‘where did you realise this was the case? Why medicine specifically rather than another career path in the NHS? During my gap year, I have had the opportunity to work at a Memory Treatment Clinic. Whilst I developed my understanding of illnesses such as Alzheimer’s, I also began to value that a career in medicine involves life-long learning. This sentence seems more suited towards the middle of the personal statement, when discussing the work experience that has been done. Working full-time as a clinic clerk at ********** this year, the actual place name is irrelevant I aim to expand on my knowledge of gastroenterology, observe the teamwork of both medical and non-medical staff and learn about how to cope with pressure in a medical environment. How do you plan on doing this? will you be getting direct observation with the doctors too? Again, this seems more suited towards the middle. The beginning of a personal statement should really focus on 'why medicine', which is only what the first sentence has done. So this needs to be expanded on, perhaps even adding a personal slant.

Whilst shadowing doctors in the Accident and Emergency department at the *********, again, irrelevant I learnt the importance of effective communication and empathy along the spectrum from paediatrics to geriatrics. This needs expanding on: How did you? What were the doctors doing? Why was it important? Talking to patients helped me to realise the value of compassion and consideration needed in patient care. Why? This exposure also demonstrated the emotional stress upon doctors, as well as the reality of working in the NHS. It's great to recognise the downsides of being a doctor, but it needs expanding on, to show how it demonstrated the emotional stress? E.g. the long hours, difficult cases, emotional attachment to patients etc. Although it was a different experience to what I had expected, it fuelled my enthusiasm to become a doctor. How was it different to what you expected? 'Enthusiasm' is one of those words you see often in a personal statement, so maybe try to put a different slant on it, to express why you're applying for medicine. Also, it would be quite obvious it didn’t put you off, as you are applying for it now A placement with a general practitioner revealed another perspective of medicine and enabled me to gain an insight into the responsibilities involved in primary care. What responsibilities? Again, this needs expanding again, for example by explaining how primary health care differs from secondary health care and the different skills required. From observing the practice nurse performing general health checks and immunisation it isn’t necessary to describe what you saw like this I was able to appreciate the importance of another member of the healthcare team and the significance of a multidisciplinary team to patient care. Well observed, but it would be significantly improved if discussing the roles of other individuals in contributing to a multi-disciplinary team in healthcare. e.g. receptionists- without them nothing would run to plan!

Volunteering at a hospice showed that medicine is not only about healing or preventative measures; it can also be about improving a patient’s quality of life through palliative care. The experience of talking to the patients was not only humbling How/why was it humbling? However, that word sounds rather clichéd, so it may be best to consider a different way of describing it. Other than that, it’s good to show consideration of the part played by another aspect of medicine. but I also grew to appreciate that, although two individual patients may suffer from the same condition, they manage their lives uniquely and respond to treatment differently. How is this important to consider as a doctor? On a weekly basis, I have -volunteered beside disabled volunteers at my local Mencap charity shop, alongside disabled volunteers. Mentioning the other volunteers is not relevant, as it just sounds like the applicant is trying to say ‘look I’m so brilliant because I work with disabled people’, which is totally unnecessary. Instead, talk about what was gained from the experience. Last year I participated in their summer project capitals 2006, which supports children with severe disabilities who were often wheelchair-bound. Working so closely with the children and volunteers enabled me to improve my communication skills, gain a greater understanding of people’s needs and form trusting relationships. This is well written, but it could be improved by discussing how it links back to medicine and the fact that doctors need good communication skills in order to interact with patients and other colleagues. It could also expand more on what was learned from the experience, e.g. other skills useful for being a doctor. Achieving this required dedication and I felt a great sense of fulfilment. Saying that you felt 'a great sense of achievement' is a slight cliché, so it should be reworded and linked back to medicine.

At school, I was an active member This doesn't make sense on its own. You could say 'I have played an active role in school life'. and became a 'maths mentor', creating teaching aids for junior members of the school. This begins to read slightly as a start of a list. You need to expand on what you've done, the skills you gained from creating teaching aids and maybe even what you enjoyed about it. In my previous school, I was selected to be a prefect and as a representative of the school council I had to effectively convey opinions of peers and learnt to manage conflicting scenarios. These positions of responsibility required me to be reliable, understanding and strengthened my leadership skills. This is good but you could go on to talk about how it strengthened your leadership skills. What exactly did you do that made you a better leader?

I have been on the committee for a cultural society and a 'Business Incentive Scheme', which both needed organisational and teamwork skills. I proved to be able to work both as part of a team and independently, making and taking responsibility for decisions. I sing South Indian classical music and participate in public events, giving me a great sense of pride and achievement. This ancient art has taught me to value my cultural heritage whilst performing has increased my confidence. This is a nice bit that you've added in, especially about singing South Indian classical music, I'm sure it's something not everyone can do! You've mentioned it's taught you to value your cultural heritage, which is good but you could go on to talk about how that would be useful as a doctor since doctors often meet patients from all walks of life.

At the moment, the bits on the non-relevant extra-curricular activities should be reduced to one paragraph and condensed, in order to expand on the experience in hospitals.

While my experiences have exposed me to the emotional challenges I will face throughout my medical career, This reads a bit awkwardly, as it seems to suggest that the emotional challenges faced by the applicant during work experience etc. have been as difficult as those you will meet as a doctor! It needs rewording, but the overall message is good. they have also stimulated my aspiration and determination to pursue medicine. I anticipate the demands of this vocation and fully intend to contribute academically and socially to university life. It’s best not to mention the social aspects of university at all. Instead, it would be better to end on a small summary of why the applicant wants to do medicine.