Personal Statement:Physics 1

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Physics Personal Statement

To me the application of physics is what makes physics useful and interesting. I find studying physics at A-Levels interesting and challenging, in particular the areas of theory and experimental work

I now hope to exploit my talent and interest by pursuing a career as a pilot. I have been fascinated by the complexity of aviation and the uses it has provided for people in their lives. Having travelled by aeroplanes my interest in aircraft grew with time. I understand that the road to becoming a qualified pilot is an extremely difficult one

However I am no stranger to hard work as I am working towards completing two very demanding A-levels

To gain financial stability in preparation for university I work part time in Marks & Spencer. I wanted a job that would teach me a variety of skills as well as being enjoyable. So I trained to become a supervisor. Becoming a supervisor has taught me how to handle great responsibility, to cope with immense stress and to deal with the general public. This requires me to have excellent time keeping skills, attention to detail and be able to communicate effectively both orally and on paper. The job has also improved my ability to work under pressure and given me the opportunity to be independent using my own initiative

I also enjoy playing computer games, particularly role-play and adventure games, as they incorporate strategic planning and problem solving. Flight Simulator and Raptor F22 are two of my favourites of this genre

For recreational purposes, I play cricket to keep fit and healthy

This also enhances my ability to think competitively and strategically. Good communication, on and off the field is also essential

I have a very keen interest in current affairs, I like to be kept well informed of national and international social and political issues. I also share a passion for debating topics with my friends, which bring out conflicting opinions, allowing me to express my views assertively yet tactfully. This is supported by a further interest in Islamic History in particular the life of Prophet Mohammed and the Islamic law (shariah)

I am looking forward to the challenge of study at degree level and exploring the opportunities available to students.

Comments

General Comments:

This is quite a weak personal statement which requires extensive redrafting to make it more relevant to a degree in physics. It is likely that a personal statement such as this would struggle to provide any weight behind an application to a top 20 university and the applicant would be relying on their grades and interview performances.

The main issues here are a failure to answer the primary questions of a personal statement which can be summarised as:

• Why do you want to study the subject?
• How have you demonstrated an interest and enthusiasm for the subject?
• What skills do you have that make you well suited to the course?
• Are you a well-rounded individual with interests outside of physics?

The applicant has shown some signs of points three and four through the transferable skills of their work experiences and hobbies, but has not really addressed why they want to study the subject or shown an enthusiasm for it. A personal statement should primarily focus on academic skills, for example the logic and analytical skills developed in maths. Specific mention of areas of interest and books/journals you have read really help to convey a real interest and enthusiasm for the course and it is worth dedicating at least a paragraph to these areas.

Structurally this statement is quite short and has too many paragraphs. Each paragraph should be a self contained unit which should be complete and make sense in isolation. A statement should usually look to have 5-6 paragraphs including the introduction and conclusion. The applicant has shown a tendency to forget full-stops at the ends of paragraphs which is careless and easily avoided using a spell checker.

--F1fanatic-14915 13:46, 6 February 2009 (UTC)

Comments on the Statement:

To me the application of physics The application of physics to what? It's usually a good idea to be specific about things like this is what makes physics useful and interesting. The first sentence of a personal statement is always an important one for catching the readers attention and making them want to read on. In this case the applicant has opened with a fairly dull sentence which doesn't really tell the reader much about the individual. I find studying physics at A-Levels interesting and challenging, in particular the areas of theory and experimental work. The applicant has made a classic mistake of being too general here. They have identified all aspects of physics as being a particular area of interest, which doesn't make much sense. It would be better to pick out a specific topic and be confident in writing it rather than to try and cover all bases.

I now hope to exploit my talent and interest by pursuing a career as a pilot. I have been fascinated by the complexity of aviation and the uses it has provided for people in their lives This is quite vague. What uses exactly?. Having travelled by aeroplanes, my interest in aircraft grew with time. I understand that the road to becoming a qualified pilot is an extremely difficult one. The problem here is that none of this relates to physics. The applicant has shown an interest in becoming a pilot which does not require a physics degree. The reader is then left asking the question of why they want to study a physics degree. The applicant should try to relate this to career aspiration to physics, for example they may wish to learn more about the physics of aviation e.g. aerodynamics to give them a better understanding of flight, which they may then be able to pursue in a career in the aviation industry.

However I am no stranger to hard work as I am working towards completing two very demanding A-levels. This does not deserve to be a paragraph and it is not correct to start a paragraph with "However" since the paragraph should by definition be a separate entity that should make sense by itself. The other problem here is a lack of detail, most other applicants will also be completing demanding A-levels so there is nothing written which sets this applicant apart.

To gain financial stability in preparation for university, I work part time in Marks & Spencer. I wanted a job that would teach me a variety of skills as well as being enjoyable Enjoyment is not a critical factor . So I trained to become a supervisor. This is not a sentence. It does not make sense by itself and should follow on from the previous sentence, or could be dropped entirely since it is implicit in the next sentence. Becoming a supervisor has taught me how to handle great responsibility, to cope with immense stress and to deal with the general public. This requires me to have excellent time keeping skills, attention to detail and be able to communicate effectively both orally and on paper. The job has also improved my ability to work under pressure and given me the opportunity to be independent using my own initiative. This is the best paragraph so far because of the discussion of the skills that have been developed through work experience. When talking about work experience, in most cases (unless the work experience is very relevant to the degree) the benefit from doing it will be in the transferable skills an applicant has developed which could equally be applied to a degree. Skills like time management and organisation are just as critical to the successful completion of a degree as to work experience.

I also enjoy playing computer games, particularly role-play and adventure games, as they incorporate strategic planning and problem solving. Flight Simulator and Raptor F22 are two of my favourites of this genre. Extra-curricular activities and hobbies play an important part in any statement but I always think it is a bad sign if the number one extra-curricular activity is computing or gaming because of the social stigmas and negative connotations associated with it. If this must be mentioned then relegate it to a minor role following other activities and unless it is a relevant field (for example if you were applying to computer gaming courses) I would drop it altogether. For recreational purposes, I play cricket to keep fit and healthy. This also enhances my ability to think competitively and strategically. Good communication, on and off the field is also essential. Again the applicant has done well to relate this activity to skills which are relevant to the degree, but this is a much more interesting and worthwhile interest and should come before gaming. I've removed the line breaks around here since a paragraph should contain multiple sentences. Extra-curricular activities can usually be constrained to a single paragraph, starting off with your best ones and moving to the weaker ones.

I have a very keen interest in current affairs, I like to be kept well informed of national and international social and political issues. I also share a passion for debating topics with my friends, which brings out conflicting opinions, allowing me to express my views assertively yet tactfully. This is supported by a further interest in Islamic History in particular the life of Prophet Mohammed and the Islamic law (shariah). I would question the relevance of this to a degree in physics. It can be mentioned but it is not something I would spend extensive amounts of space discussing in a personal statement unless it is relevant.

I am looking forward to the challenge of study at degree level and exploring the opportunities available to students. Every PS should have a conclusion and the applicant here has attempted to create one. A conclusion should be short (1-2 sentences) and should summarise what you can bring to the course as an individual and why you wish to stud it. This particular conclusion I think is quite bland and uninspiring.

--F1fanatic-14915 13:46, 6 February 2009 (UTC)