Personal Statement:Psychology 10

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Psychology personal statement

Ever since my little sister became a teenager and started going through her rebellious phrase I just haven't been able to help myself from analysing her behaviour. Although she grew out of her moody phase my interest in Psychology didn't change and I find that I regularly am examining the behaviour of different members of my family. Psychological and social theories and analyses have become a feature of my life, whether it is at home or the outside world. Having gained a good grounding in Psychology during my time at school and college I realise that this is not enough and that there is so much more for me to appreciate and understand.

The A level Psychology syllabus has confirmed my commitment to Psychology, and encouraged me to challenge and expand upon my perceptions of the subject. The diversity of developmental and cognitive thought I have discovered, in Jean Piaget’s experiments for instance, has made me curious, and led me to research experiments including Margaret Donaldson’s ‘Children’s Minds’ which drew my attention to the social context in which a child learns and the child’s understanding of that context. What is most intriguing is the fact that children are actively working out what the experimenter wants and may well misjudge the situation through no fault of their own which contradicts Piaget’s theory on Conservation.

I feel the A-Levels I study have a number of transferable skills and complects in aiding the study of Psychology. I enjoy Economics because we look at the real cost of making choices and also I have learnt how concepts and theories provide a tool to help me understand how economies work and develop. I have found Adam Smiths theory on ‘Invisible Hand’ most striking because it focuses on the ideas of capitalism, a person pursuing self-interest will result in an increase in the common good. Studying Law has given me an insight into the fundamentals that make up our English Legal System and has helped me realise that the rule of law is crucial in providing a basis for trust and predictability. Both these subjects have taught me to develop my analytical and evaluative skills, and also problem solving skills. I believe all the qualities I have gained through my courses are essential in order to strengthen my competence.

In my spare time, I take pleasure in reading be it short stories or never ending novels. I enjoy playing badminton and tennis: being a member of my local tennis club has enabled me to interact with other people who share similar interests. Something which I find significant is the belief that every one of us can make the world a better place be it by helping others. As someone pointed out “We have two hands, one to help yourself the second to help others”. I am been fortunate to take part in charitable events raising money for organisations ranging from Breast Cancer to Aids. My remaining free time goes in working as a sales adviser. The retail experience has given me a great insight in to my interpersonal skills and taught me how to deal with a various range of situations efficiently I would be an asset to your university and am very enthusiastic about my subjects. The course you offer will broaden my knowledge, satisfy my curiosity and deepen my understanding; I am very determined and thoughtful, and would find the course you offer highly motivating

Comments

This is a pretty good personal statement. The introduction is a bit weak and not very academic - analysing family members. If specific theories could be mentioned, that would be far better (maybe removing the family element and just say x, y, z is interesting because...).

The second paragraph is good, although maybe more psychology theories could be mentioned besides Piaget to improve it even more. As for the third paragraph - it doesn't really relate to psychology - links between subjects can be mentioned and skills gained - but not psychology-related stuff should be brief! The fourth paragraph is a good length for extra-curricular stuff, but there should be a separate concluding paragraph. The concluding bit that is there is rather cliched - it should sum up why you want to study the course and why you are a good candidate for it.

Overall, spelling and grammar are generally good (some mistakes however), although contractions such as 'haven't' should be avoided, and there is some unnecessary capitalisation. Also, 'A level/A-Levels' - keep it consistent!

Review

Ever since my little sister became a teenager and started going through her rebellious phrase I just haven't been able to help myself from analysing her behaviour. Although she grew out of her moody phase my interest in Psychology didn't change and I find that I regularly am examining the behaviour of different members of my family. Psychological and social theories and analyses have become a feature of my life, whether it is at home or the outside world. Having gained a good grounding in psychology during my time at school and college, I realise that this is not enough and that there is so much more for me to appreciate and understand. it's good to acknowledge the fact that A Level Psychology is not very in-depth. See comments above for more on the introduction

The A level Psychology syllabus has confirmed my commitment to Psychology, 'confirmed...' I would say this is a bit of a waste of characters and encouraged me to challenge and expand upon my perceptions of the subject. The diversity of developmental and cognitive thought I have discovered, in Jean Piaget’s experiments for instance, has made me curious, and led me to research experiments including Margaret Donaldson’s ‘Children’s Minds’, which drew my attention to the social context in which a child learns and the child’s understanding of that context. such as? Also, this is a very long sentence! What is most intriguing is the fact that children are actively working out what the experimenter wants and may well misjudge the situation through no fault of their own which contradicts Piaget’s theory on conservation.

I feel the A-Levels I study have a number of transferable skills and complects don't think this is quite the right word to use here' in aiding the study of psychology. I enjoy economics because we look at the real cost of making choices and also I have learnt how concepts and theories provide a tool to help me understand how economies work and develop. I have found Adam Smith''s theory on ‘invisible hand’ most striking because it focuses on the ideas of capitalism, a person pursuing self-interest will result in an increase in the common good. the bit after the comma doesn't link with the sentence Studying law has given me an insight into the fundamentals that make up our English legal system and has helped me realise that the rule of law is crucial in providing a basis for trust and predictability. Both these subjects have taught me to develop my analytical and evaluative skills, and also problem solving skills. I believe all the qualities I have gained through my courses are essential in order to strengthen my competence. this last sentence is unnecessary

In my spare time, I take pleasure in reading be it short stories or never ending novels. I enjoy playing badminton and tennis: being a member of my local tennis club has enabled me to interact with other people who share similar interests. Something which should be 'that' I find significant is the belief that every one of us can make the world a better place be it by helping others. As someone pointed out “We have two hands, one to help yourself the second to help others”. these last two sentences are a bit of waste of space I am been fortunate doesn't make sense to take part in charitable events raising money for organisations ranging from breast cancer to AIDs. these aren't the names of organisations... 'for causes' may be better My remaining free time this almost seems like a negative way of wording it goes in doesn't quite make sense working as a sales adviser. The retail experience has given me a great insight in to my interpersonal skills having an insight into them is rather odd, 'improved' them would be better and taught me how to deal with a various range of situations efficiently I think a full stop is needed here (and a new paragraph) I would be an asset to your university don't address the admissions tutors directly and am very enthusiastic about my subjects. only one will be studied at university. Also, it's better to show the admissions tutors this in what you write, rather than state it directly The course you offer will broaden my knowledge, satisfy my curiosity and deepen my understanding; I am very determined and thoughtful, and would find the course you offer highly motivating this is rather cliched - see comments above