Personal Statement:Psychology 16

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Psychology Personal Statement

In "Das Vorleser" by Bernard Schlink, the main character asserts that decisions can have no influence on our behaviour. In many ways I think this is true. There are times when we can consciously make a decision, justify it, yet we can't go through with it. I am curious as to why this is, as I have always been fascinated by behaviour. A-Level Psychology has provided me with some answers, yet I am eager to learn more.

Cognitive Psychology is one of my main interests because I believe that the best way to understand people's behaviour is to try to understand the processes that take place in decision making, in remembering and also at times when we don't even realise them, such as during the perception of our surrounding environment. I also like it because of its links to neurosciences, which I have found intriguing because of the links between brain and behaviour. Recently, I have been reading articles on mirror neurons in Scientific American Mind, which I found compelling because it would appear to explain many of the processes engaged in learning. I found Kandel's work with sea slugs fascinating as well because it would seem to explain memory at a biological level, but I feel that there is still much to discover, as I think that all behaviour could be explained in biological terms. I think this should be investigated using the experimental method, with the challenge in doing so making it all the more exciting.

I am also very interested in mental disorders. What compel me are the relationships between various biological and environmental factors which can induce them. Richard P. Bentall's 'Madness Explained' gave me an insight into these relationships, but I also found this book interesting because of the implications for clinical psychology. His theory for treating psychological symptoms rather than whole disorders could be more beneficial for patients due to the lack of reliability in the traditional method of diagnosis and treatment. Despite this, I am sceptical whether this approach would actually eliminate the problem, however he would assert that it does.

I consider myself an excellent candidate to study Psychology as I have a strong work ethic, I am motivated to extend my learning beyond the classroom with reading around the subject and attend lectures organised by the Royal Institute in London when I can (the most recent of which discussing infidelity from a psychological viewpoint) and I am very capable of keeping to deadlines in spite of my many extra curricular activities. I am also a responsible and reliable person as these are some of the qualities required for being a Prefect.

One of these extra curricular activities is Student Researchers. Currently, I am the Head of Qualitative Research and we have to design qualitative questionnaires, distribute them and analyse them. At times this can be quite challenging, especially our first project, which was undertaken during our AS exams. So far we have completed two projects, one exploring the students' views on learning and another investigating the students' views on grades and feedback. I gained excellent experience with researching, analysing and evaluating evidence, drawing conclusions and exploring the implications of these conclusions, which I feel will particularly help me in studying Psychology.

Outside of school, I referee for youth and senior football. This is challenging because of the unpredictability and aggressiveness of some players, whom I must keep control of, often under intense pressure, yet I also find it rejuvenating as it is a break from studying. Since March, I have been in the refereeing promotion scheme, which pushes my ability as a referee and also enhances my organisational skills. I also enjoy playing bass guitar or socialising with friends.

I am eager to study Psychology and the prospect excites me greatly. I strongly believe I am an excellent candidate and I hope that I will be offered a place at your university.

Universities Applied to:

• Oxford
• UCL
• York
• Glasgow
• Kent

Comments

General Comments:

Generally this statement is very good! It is clear that the applicant is interested in psychology from their reading around the syllabus and extra-curricular activities related to psychology. The intro and conclusion are a bit weak, but the main body of the statement is good. However, it can be improved by adding more detail and maybe taking out some parts of it, as mentioned in the more detailed review below

Comments on the statement:

In "Das Vorleser" by Bernard Schlink, the main character asserts that decisions can have no influence on our behaviour. In many ways I think this is true. There are times when we can consciously make a decision, justify it, yet we can not a PS is a formal document, so contractions should not be used go through with it. I am curious as to why this is, as I have always this is a cliched, over exaggeration and phrases like this are best avoided completely! been fascinated another cliched word that is overused by applicants and is best avoided by behaviour. A-Level Psychology has provided me with some answers, yet I am eager to learn more. as already stated, this is a bit of a weak introduction. It would be better to simply say a couple of things that interest you about psychology and why. Because human behaviour is very complex, so it's unlikely you would get the answer to this question from a degree

Cognitive psychology is one of my main interests, because I believe that the best way to understand people's behaviour is to try to understand the processes that take place in decision making, this contradicts what they say in the introduction in remembering and also at times when we do not even realise them, such as during the perception of our surrounding environment. while it's true that some perception is unconscious, a lot is conscious too I also like it because of its links to neuroscience, which I have found intriguing because of the links between brain and behaviour. that's basically what neuroscience is - this needs to be more specific Recently, I have been reading articles on mirror neurons in "Scientific American Mind", which I found compelling because it would appear to explain many of the processes engaged in learning. how? I found Kandel's work with sea slugs fascinating that word again as well because it would seem to explain memory at a biological level, but I feel that there is still much to discover, as I think that all behaviour could be explained in biological terms. this needs to be explained more - how did it explain memory at a biological level? Why is it interesting? I think this should be investigated using the experimental method, with the challenge in doing so making it all the more exciting. as opposed to? For people unfamiliar with the work, this needs explaining more. With humans? More experimenting with sea slugs?

While I have made a lot of comments on this paragraph, it is good. It's clear that the applicant is interested and done extra reading, although it can be enhanced by adding more detail, as mentioned above

I am also very interested in mental disorders. What compel me awkward wording are the relationships between various biological and environmental factors that can induce them. Richard P. Bentall's 'Madness Explained' gave me an insight into these relationships, but I also found this book interesting because of the implications for clinical psychology. His theory for treating psychological symptoms rather than whole disorders could be more beneficial for patients, due to the lack of reliability in the traditional method of diagnosis and treatment. Despite this, I am sceptical whether this approach would actually eliminate the problem, however he would assert that it does. why? Another way of improving this paragraph could be to talk about specifics of what he said, e.g. an example disorder

I consider myself an excellent candidate to study psychology, this all sounds rather arrogant as I have a strong work ethic, I am motivated to extend my learning beyond the classroom with reading around the subject and attend lectures organised by the Royal Institute in London when I can (the most recent of which discussing infidelity from a psychological viewpoint) it's generally best to avoid using brackets in PSs and I am very capable of keeping to deadlines in spite of my many extra curricular activities. I am also a responsible and reliable person as these are some of the qualities required for being a Prefect. this is the least important paragraph of the whole statement. It should be clear (hopefully! And with those universities I would assume so) that the applicant has a strong work ethic and has shown that they read around the subject. If the lectures are related to psychology, these could be mentioned in greater detail, otherwise it's a waste. As for being a prefect - if there is space, include it. If not, it doesn't matter but there should be a bit more about it if if is included

One of these extra curricular activities is student researchers. probably best to say 'being a student researcher' (with small letters). It would also be better to explain a bit more about this. Is it something organised by the college/school? An outside agency? Voluntary or paid? Currently, I am the head of qualitative research and we have to design qualitative questionnaires, distribute them and analyse them. for what purpose? For whom and on what? At times this can be quite challenging, especially our first project, which was undertaken during our AS exams. this sentence is worded a bit awkwardly So far we have completed two projects, one exploring the students' views on learning and another investigating the students' views on grades and feedback. what sort of results were gained? What happened as a consequence of the questionnaires? I gained excellent experience with researching, analysing and evaluating evidence, drawing conclusions and exploring the implications of these conclusions, which I feel will particularly help me in studying psychology.

Outside of school, I referee for youth and senior football. This is challenging because of the unpredictability and aggressiveness of some players, whom I must keep control of, often under intense pressure, yet I also find it rejuvenating as it is a break from studying. this is a long sentence. And I would say you don't need to talk about the 'unpredictability and aggressiveness' of players, but put a positive spin on it, e.g. by saying something like 'it has taught me to be assertive in situations where people having differing opinions' Since March, I have been in the refereeing promotion scheme, which pushes my ability as a referee and also enhances my organisational skills. I also enjoy playing bass guitar or socialising with friends.

I am eager to study psychology and the prospect excites me greatly. these both basically say the same thing I strongly believe I am an excellent candidate arrogant again... and I hope that I will be offered a place at your university. why are you an excellent candidate? Why does the prospect of studying psychology excite you? These kinds of specifics need to be in the conclusion (albeit briefly), as it is your last chance to impress the admissions tutors. Also, you shouldn't address the admissions tutors directly with 'you' - you are applying for 5 unis and so it's not appropriate