Personal Statement:Psychology 2

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Psychology Personal Statement

My interest in psychology and society's behavioural patterns has been an aspect of my studies that I have wanted to expand on for a long time. To satisfy my curiosity of these topics I chose Sociology as one of my A-level subjects. Over the past year I have found the various theories and ideologies from different cultures and different studies by sociologists, extremely interesting and thought provoking. It is this sociological research that has further fuelled my interest in human interaction and also compelled me to continue in Sociology as an A-level subject rather just an AS level

A particular area of my studies that I was most satisfied with last year was my Information, Communication Technology project that involved the analysis, design, implementation, testing and finally evaluation of an Access 2000 database. By completing this exercise I found that I had a particular skill for holding discussions with possible users and thus carefully building a strong productive relationship with them, which enabled me to fully understand their needs and problems

As a member of the sixth form debate team that is a part of the CEWC (Council for Education in World Citizenship) organisation, I was able to expand on my experience of public speaking. One of the high points of being a member of this clu ugb was debating against other schools on both international and national current affairs, at the Welsh Assembly in Cardiff. As a confident speaker I was able to fully present a well researched argument from all angles and boldly put forward my own personal views. A particular challenge of the day was the role of giving a speech I had written to open the event officially. This gave me a chance to really push my self-confidence to the limits and approach the other schools as well the judges. I was rewarded for my efforts with a certificate, which gave me the satisfaction of knowing I had successfully and powerfully delivered my speech

Participation in the Young Enterprise Scheme enabled me to use my communication and creative skills. This scheme involved the designing and marketing of a product going through all the processes of research, production, advertising and finally sales at various events

The company was named Fluff Federation after the main product being soft, stuffed toys with different themes. One of the best examples of my ability to put people at ease and gain trust is the fact that I managed to become the official Personnel Director of the company as a result of being elected and re-elected for this position. As Personnel Director it was my responsibility to handle the disciplinary procedures in terms of company rules as well as making sure that all safety regulations were fully discussed with the Production team. I also found new ways of keeping the most important feature of all at a high level and that was of course MORALE! On the whole, the scheme required a lot of time and effort as well as negotiation skills to keep the peace and harmony of a successful company. I found that the most fulfilling experiences came from helping other departments and tackling problems as a team and achieving solutions collectively. Due to my knowledge of ICT I was also very flexible in helping the I.T department in finding new and exciting ways of advertising our product effectively. I also took the Young Enterprise exam that I gained a pass in and is the equivalent of another two GSCEs

Extra curricular activities include participation in a scheme known as the Paired Reading Literacy scheme over the past three years, which involved working with younger Year Seven pupils to improve their reading skills. The twice-weekly sessions were both fun and productive for the reading partner I was assigned and myself. I found that the task required a lot of tact and patience as well as a lot of encouragement to boost my readers' confidence. One of the more testing parts of this was having to entertain and interest a less than willing younger reader in times where they felt a little vulnerable. This scheme led to me also complete a course in literacy, which is a recognised qualification known as Open College Network Award for Helping A Younger Reader

In my spare time I enjoy developing my physical ability by working out regularly at a gym. As well as this I also go kickboxing weekly, which I feel enables me to better my self-defence as well as my physical fitness. In the past I have represented the school at home and away netball matches. I have also completed a ten-week course called Champion coaching at Spytty Park in hockey training, which I found both fun and good for developing teamwork skills. In terms of music I have played in the school orchestra in the past and as I enjoyed lessons for a number of years I also completed exams with the Guildhall School of Music to a Grade 3 standard

I feel that in the future I would like to dedicate my time academically towards studying s subject that helps me better understand human behaviour and nature. As an outgoing person with good communication skills I feel I would be able to contribute to this area of studies and work most of all in the future. In complete I see a degree in Psychology as being both a challenge and an exciting journey

For my work experience in Year 11 I was sent to a health centre for a week. I found this most interesting as it gave me an opportunity to talk to the various workers there and most importantly discuss their attitudes to different situations that they have to face in this sort of a working environment. What intrigued me most of all was the way that the receptionist described how certain patients could be far more intimidating than others and the way they deal with these sorts of problems.

Comments

There are two rather large problems with this personal statement - one, it's too long and two, it is severely lacking in academic information, which is what the majority of the statement should be about!

The information that is there is on generic skills - if the first paragraph was taken out, it would be unclear what degree the applicant was applying for. While it is useful to mention this, it should not take up the space that is does at the moment. There is nothing setting them apart in relation to psychology - particularly if the applicant has not studied Psychology A Level, it is important to show knowledge and enthusiasm for the subject through extra reading and/or work experience.

There is no real conclusion either... The PS just... ends. You need a conclusion to sum up why you are a good candidate and why you are enthusiastic about the course

Also, for some reason (although it may be the way it's edited) there are no full stops at the end of paragraphs.

Review

My interest in psychology and society's behavioural patterns has been an aspect of my studies that I have wanted to expand on for a long time. To satisfy my curiosity of these topics I chose sociology subject names should only be capitalised when saying (e.g.) 'A Level Sociology' as one of my A-level subjects. Over the past year I have found the various theories and ideologies from different cultures and different studies by sociologists, reading this sentence aloud, the comma does not fit here extremely interesting and thought provoking. It is this sociological research that has further fuelled my interest in human interaction and also compelled me to continue in sociology as an A-level subject rather just an AS level This does not tell the admissions tutors why the applicant wants to study psychology - it's more about sociology, so it would make the admissions tutors question why they aren't applying for sociology instead! It's inadvisable to mention subjects you aren't applying for in the introduction. Instead, it should answer: Why do they want to expand on their interest, and where did the interest come from? Also, it is inadvisable to mention A Levels in the introduction - instead, just keep it about general interests in the subject

A particular area of my studies that I was most satisfied with last year was my Information, Communication Technology They will know the acronym, so ICT will suffice project that involved the analysis, design, implementation, testing and finally evaluation of an Access 2000 database. By completing this exercise I found that I had a particular skill for holding discussions with possible users and thus carefully building a strong productive relationship with them, which enabled me to fully understand their needs and problems This paragraph does not really relate to psychology. It should be about their interests in psychology and what skills they have to make them a good psychology student

As a member of the sixth form debate team that is a part of the CEWC (Council for Education in World Citizenship) just put the full name first, and then refer it it using the acronym after that organisation, I was able to expand on my experience of public speaking. One of the high points of being a member of this clu ugb proof read your statement! was debating against other schools on both international and national current affairs, no comma at the Welsh Assembly in Cardiff. As a confident speaker I was able to fully present a well researched argument from all angles and boldly put forward my own personal views. A particular challenge of the day was the role of giving a speech I had written to open the event officially. This gave me a chance to really push my self-confidence to the limits make sure your statement is formal throughout and approach the other schools as well the judges. I was rewarded for my efforts with a certificate, which gave me the satisfaction of knowing I had successfully and powerfully delivered my speech OK, this is good extra curricular stuff, but unless the debates can be related to psychology, this paragraph should be condensed a lot and put after all the academic stuff

Participation in the Young Enterprise Scheme enabled me to use my communication and creative skills. This scheme involved the designing and marketing of a product going through all the processes of research, production, advertising and finally sales at various events This and the subsequent paragraph are related, so they should be merged

The company was named Fluff Federation after the main product being soft, stuffed toys with different themes. this sentence doesn't quite make sense grammatically One of the best examples of my ability to put people at ease and gain trust is the fact that I managed to become the official personnel director of the company as a result of being elected and re-elected for this position. As personnel director it was my responsibility to handle the disciplinary procedures in terms of company rules as well as making sure that all safety regulations were fully discussed with the production team. the capital letters in this paragraph are incorrectly used - job titles don't require them I also found new ways of keeping the most important feature of all at a high level and that was of course MORALE! things like capitalisation of words and exclamation marks are risky... In this case I don't think it works at all the whole, the scheme required a lot of time and effort as well as negotiation skills to keep the peace and harmony of a successful company. I found that the most fulfilling experiences came from helping other departments and tackling problems as a team and achieving solutions collectively. Due to my knowledge of ICT I was also very flexible in helping the I.T. department in finding new and exciting ways of advertising our product effectively. I also took the Young Enterprise exam that I gained a pass in and is the equivalent of another two GCSEs Again, this paragraph is far too long for a psychology PS. This should be a sentence or two at most, as it's not related to studying the course

Extra curricular activities include participation in a scheme known as the Paired Reading Literacy scheme over the past three years, which involved working with younger Year Seven pupils to improve their reading skills. The twice-weekly sessions were both fun and productive for the reading partner I was assigned and myself. this sentence's wording is slightly awkward I found that the task required a lot of tact and patience as well as a lot of encouragement to boost my reader's confidence. One of the more testing parts of this was having to entertain and interest a less than willing younger reader in times where they felt a little vulnerable. This scheme led to me also complete a course in literacy, which is a recognised qualification known as Open College Network Award for Helping A Younger Reader OK this is better - however using the space to mention any strategies that were used would be even better, as it relates to psychology of memory and learning, rather than talking about the qualifications gained

In my spare time I enjoy developing my physical ability by working out regularly at a gym. As well as this I also go kickboxing weekly, which I feel enables me to better my self-defence as well as my physical fitness. In the past I have represented the school at home and away netball matches. just netball or on the netball team would be fine here! I have also completed a ten-week course called Champion coaching either these should both be capitalised, or neither at Spytty Park no need to be specific in hockey training, which I found both fun and good for developing teamwork skills. In terms of music odd way to introduce it, and sounds like it is being mentioned to 'tick the boxes' for the admissions tutor I have played in the school orchestra in the past and as I enjoyed lessons for a number of years I also completed exams with the Guildhall School of Music to a Grade 3 standard this sentence needs breaking up or rewording

I feel that in the future I would like to dedicate my time academically towards studying s subject that helps me better understand human behaviour and nature. As an outgoing person with good communication skills I feel I would be able to contribute to this area of studies and work most of all in the future. this sounds rather arrogant! In complete this doesn't make sense... I see a degree in psychology as being both a challenge and an exciting journey very cliched, and this paragraph doesn't really add anything

For my work experience in Year 11 consistency - first 'Year Seven' and now 'Year 11' I was sent this makes it sound like the applicant didn't want to go! to a health centre for a week. I found this most interesting as it gave me an opportunity to talk to the various workers there and most importantly discuss their attitudes to different situations that they have to face in this sort of a working environment. What intrigued me most of all was the way that the receptionist described how certain patients could be far more intimidating than others and the way they deal with these sorts of problems. why was this interesting? How could it be related to psychology?