Sliced Bread (brown or white)
Choice of spread
Gently remove however many slices of bread you would like to eat. Replace bread into bread bin, and ensure the wrapping is sealed (a twist then fold over will do it) to prevent the bread from going stale.
Check slices of bread for mold. If there is any, you may scrape off the section of crust it is on. if it is in the center, you probably don't want to eat it. In fact, if there is mold on the bread, your best off throwing it and the rest of that loaf into the bin.
Now, assuming you have a toaster, insert the slices of bread into the toaster. ensure the power is on, then push down the bread pushing down mechanism. Adjust the time setting, dependant on how you want your toast cooked. number 3-4 gives a lightly toasted toast. Remember that it is not a control to alter the temperature, merely to change the length of time the machine is on for. So if you are in a rush, it doesn't make sense to put the time setting to the top.
If you do not have a toaster, don't worry! If you have a gas cooker, turn on one hob to a low setting. Take the bread, and if you have any barbecue tongs, hold it in these. If you don't, get creative. It is possible to use two knifes, inserted into the side of the bread, through the middle. You need two, as the bread is flimsy and will break with just one. Hold it over the flame, ensuring not to keep it in one place, instead, gently, and slightly circle the bread to give an even toast. Turn over and repeat. It takes a while to perfect this art, so keep trying.
If you have an electric hob, good luck.
If you do not have a toaster,gas cooker or electric hob, start a fire, then using the same method to hold the toast as stated in gas cooker instructions, hold the toast just out of the flame, unfortunately, this toast does tend to taste a little smokey.
In the meantime, take out a plate, a knife, and your choice of spread. Spreading, and eating toast whilst it is still hot, gives for a more indulgent slice of toast.
When the toast pops up (and it is now called toast, NEVER, EVER, bread), remove it and place it on the plate. You may find yourself dropping it on the plate, because it is so hot. That is fine, the toast is much sturdier than bread. - Note that the toast must not be placed straight onto the plate - or you will get condensation on the plate which is most disappointing.
Spread the toast with your choice of spread, ensuring to spread right to the edges.
Feel free to add any regional specialities, or grandma's secrets.