Whether you’re a Happy Rabbit, waiting for the right person/time to have sex or happy to go Hans Solo, this article is for you. There’s no shame in being sexual, so here are some ways in which you can empower your sex life both physically and emotionally.
We've spoken to sexperts LoveHoney, who have just launched their new student-dedicated site 'The Oh! Spot'. Here are their top tips on empowering your sex life.
1. Put your freakum dress on
When we think of someone who is sexually empowered and confident in their own skin, Beyonce or David Beckham (we’ve all seen those billboards Becks) might come to mind. But we’ve all got the right and the power to strut our stuff like we’re bootylicious.
On those days when we’re not feeling so hot, an awesome way to put the oomph back in your va-va-voom is to slip into something that makes you feel sexy and confident. It doesn’t even have to be for anyone else, feeling sexy is all about you.
Community question: Is it weird to buy nice lingerie when you’re single?
2. Find your sex chuckle
Sex isn’t anything like it is in the movies. It’s not smooth and perfect and it most likely isn’t candlelit with Barry White playing softly in the background. But that doesn’t mean it’s not fun.
The absolute best way to bond with your lady/man friend is to have a laugh. Not just at the Student Union comedy night but also when you’re bonking. Serious, straight-laced sex? Ain’t nobody got time for that!
If you and your partner are feeling adventurous, you might want to use some sex toys… just be sure that both of you are game for trying something new and remember that adding a touch of humour always reduces the awkward factor!
Community question: How do I order a vibrator without getting caught?
3. Get comfortable down under
Boy or girl, straight, bi or gay, sex isn’t going to be a happy experience unless you’re comfortable. And I’m not just talking about comfortable with the lights on, or comfortable doing that position, I mean physically comfortable down there.
According to the TSR community, it can be a bit embarrassing at times to introduce lube into the bedroom. However, it can not only increase your pleasure but also helps decrease friction and painful rubbing so it’s well worth it. If it hurts, speak up.
If you’re feeling #awks about mentioning it to your partner, see above about introducing new things using humour.
4. Pipe up during power play
Power in sex is a tricky thing. Relationships, particularly sexual ones, are driven by the balance of power between partners and it can be make or break for a couple depending on whether it is working for both of them.
When it comes to slipping under the sheets, your day-to-day power dynamic could be thrown out of the window. You might be a naturally submissive person who loves to be the authority in the bedroom, or you might be the cocksure diva in the day but who loves to take orders when the lights go out. Whatever your power play, whether you’re the one in handcuffs or on top, being empowered means not losing your power even when you’re not physically in charge.
Having fun can also mean setting rules at times (a common way to do this is using a “safe word”) but a huge part of how happy your sex life is is knowing how to say no. Not up for something? Say NO. Feeling pressured into doing something that you’re not up for? Say NO.
Knowing what you do and don’t want to do doesn’t make you any less sexy and your partner will respect you for telling them. Got a question about sexytime? Visit the Relationships forum here.
Community question: Is it wrong to want to be dominated by a girl sexually?
Check out what questions other students have about sex:
Guys - how would you feel if a girl asked you to use a vibrator on her?
Trying to buy my girlfriend nice lingerie for the first time- help!
Our sex life is great except for this one thing…
Do women always have to take the submissive role during sex?