The Student Room's guide to understanding men

Ah, men. The woman who discovers how to figure out exactly what they’re thinking at all times will be a very rich woman indeed.


Why do they only text at 3am? Why can’t they just admit their love of rosé to the lads? What does ‘I need some space’ really mean? Sometimes it feels like men and women are from different planets, but we’re not really so different. Let’s get back to basics and find out how we can better understand men (sweeping generalisations guaranteed).

More on TSR:

How to understand women: a beginner's guide


He Snapchats me selfies with other girls


Ugh, why is Hannah always hanging around? Isn’t that Isla’s tattoo on the edge of the screen? Is he seriously out clubbing with Becky AGAIN? If he’s sending you photos of himself with other girls, maybe he’s trying to make you jealous. Or maybe he really is that oblivious, and he doesn’t think anything of it when he updates his story.


He’s a total lad when he’s with his mates


He can go from the sweetest guy alive to a beer-chugging bro in the time it takes him to walk down the road to Vodka Revs. 99% of the time, this is nothing to worry about – guys just have different personas for when they’re on their best behaviour with you and when they’re having a messy night with the lads.


He always tells me about his gym visits… in minute detail


Ah yes, the post-workout rundown. Reps, sets, blah blah blah… if he’s telling you this, he’s probably trying to impress you. Unfortunately for him, no woman in history has ever cared about what a guy got up to at the gym. Just smile and nod for the sake of his ego, then change the subject to something a little more interesting.


He ignores me when he sees me out


Some guys can make sparkling conversation over text, and leave totally charming comments on your Instagram photos. So why do they act like you don’t exist when they see you in real life? He’s probably shy – so why not try approaching him first? Or next time you’re messaging, suggest meeting for a coffee. What’s the worst that can happen?

An anonymous forum user knows all about this:
I've developed a huge physical attraction to him, every time he sees me he looks at the floor, avoids me in all possible situations, no idea why.
The Student Room's guide to understanding men



He says he doesn’t want anything serious


If he says this, you should probably take him at his word. If you’re not cool with that, save yourself the heartache and don’t get involved. Don’t enter into something casual and hope you’ll change his mind – unfortunately, that rarely happens. But if you’re happy for Netflix and chill to be as far as things go, why not give it a whirl?


He says he’ll text me but never does


Maybe it’s after a date, or to get together to study, or to tell you the name of that new Netflix series he thinks you’ll like. He’s online on WhatsApp 24/7, so why hasn’t he said anything to you? Very often, they’ve just plain forgotten. Why not just message them first?

This anonymous forum member knows the struggle:
So he hasn't got back to me, and that was nearly a week ago. Is he just not interested but doesn't want to tell me that straight out?


He shuts down when I try to talk about emotions


Unfortunately, a lot of guys are taught that it’s not OK to show their sensitive side, so they become emotional husks. Maybe they shed a secret tear when they watched Bridget Jones’s Baby, but they’ll never tell you that. All you can do is be open with your own emotions and let him know you’re ready to listen if he ever wants to open up. It’ll probably happen naturally one day – don’t make it awkward and try to force it.

An anonymous member said:
I just can't help but regret having this conversation as I feel I've opened myself up too much to him and I don't want him to think I'm weak.


He won’t take the hint that I like him!


Some guys just aren’t very confident, and may be completely oblivious to your advances. Maybe it’s time to drop the not-so-subtle leg touches and emoji flirting and just… you know… tell him. Who knows – it could be the start of something amazing.


So what’s the number one rule to remember when you’re trying to understand men? Simple – talk to them. Our Relationships forum is full of people wondering what guys are thinking – you’ll be amazed how many of this problems can be solved with an honest conversation. So what are you waiting for? Start that conversation!


Confused by a guy? Got a tip or two to share? Join in with the comments below.



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