The Student Room's guide to understanding women

Ah, the fairer sex. Universally baffling to men the world over, women can sometimes seem like an entirely different species.


Why do girls always go to the bathroom in groups? Why does ‘It’s nothing’ never really mean ‘It’s nothing’? How do they know so much about their exes’ new girlfriends? Most guys would admit that they need a few pointers when it comes to understanding the opposite sex, so we’ve put together some tips to help you out. There may be a generalisation or two along the way, but hopefully you’ll learn a thing or two about the ladies in your life.

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She reads my WhatsApp messages but doesn’t reply


Look, sometimes life gets busy. When you’re flicking between 15 apps all day, it’s easy to forget to reply once in a while, and she could be busy studying or out with friends. But if your blue ticks are stacking up and you rarely get a response, maybe it’s time to ease off. If she didn’t respond to your first 22 messages, sending a 23rd won’t help.

As member Sammylou40 said:
“Have you considered she may be busy and you are not the sole focus of her attention?”


She tells me about her crushes


She may be trying to gauge your reaction to see if you’re bothered, or if you’ve been flirting with her recently, it may be a clumsy attempt to put you back in the friendzone. Or who knows, maybe she thinks you’ll be genuinely interested in the fact that Adam liked her latest selfie just two minutes after it was posted?


She sends me Snapchats all day, every day


She must at least vaguely like you if you know what she’s up to every minute of every day. But are you the only person she messages, or are you one of many guys receiving the same photo of her enjoying a frappuccino? It’s a minefield, isn’t it? Snap back too many photos of your meal deals or ‘casual’ post-run shots and she might get overwhelmed, but too few and she might feel ignored. Tricky!


She tells me I’m her best friend


Ouch. Sure, it’s not impossible that she means that in a flirty way, but… if she’s calling you her ‘best friend’, that’s a pretty clear signal that you’re firmly in the friend zone. And that’s great if the feeling is mutual, but if not… not so much. Be prepared to check if her eyebrows are even and to hear all about her latest Tinder matches.

The Student Room's guide to understanding women


She never talks to me when she’s with her mates


Some girls prefer not to mix their social groups, and she may prefer to keep the people in her life separate. If she talks to you normally otherwise, it’s probably nothing to worry about – she might just be shy or doesn’t want her friends to embarrass her in front of you.

“Her friends probably know about you two talking,” said user UWS. And who knows what they might let slip?


She always drunk texts me


There’s a saying that goes ‘Drunk minds speak sober hearts’, and this is often the case when it comes to drunk texting. If you’re the one she messages when she’s a little tipsy, that’s generally a promising sign. But is she just as enthusiastic without a Pinot Grigio or two after work?


She talks about her exes all the time


As fun as it is to hear about James’ gym routine or Harry’s frankly insane Breaking Bad obsession (still!), there’s a limit to how much ex-talk you can listen to. Some girls don’t even realise they’re doing it, so it might be worth changing the subject if you’re tired of hearing about Ollie’s tendonitis.


She won’t take the hint that I like her!


You may think you’re making it blindingly obvious, but often that isn’t the case. If she keeps missing your subtle hints, why not try telling her how you feel directly? If she feels the same, you win. If she doesn’t, at least you know where you stand and can move onto your next right swipe.


So, what should you do if you’re not sure what she wants? To put it simply – talk to her! You’ll both feel better for knowing where you stand, and if nothing else, you’ll save a lot of time spent crafting the perfect WhatsApp message to try to suss out what she’s thinking. For more help with understanding women, head to the Relationships forum to find hundreds of people with questions about the fairer sex.


Having a tough time with the lady in your life? Have any pearls of wisdom to share? Share your thoughts in the comments below.



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