Relationship
Being in a relationship can mean that the lifestyles of two individuals become combined, have to adapt or can change completely. In any case, starting a relationship inevitably leads to more attention being placed on your lifestyle and whether or not it is suited to your partner and relationship.


Here on TSR, one Student Roomer asked the community about how to deal with dating someone with a wildly different lifestyle...

I have been seeing this guy for the last two months. He seems to have everything together; he has a great job, a mortgage (currently looking at putting a deposit on another house), he has an active social life and he's travelled quite a bit.


Then there's me... I have a crappy retail job, I've only just been on a plane, I live at home, I wouldn't consider myself as ambitious. Due to my crappy job my social life barely exists and I rarely go out.

How do I stop comparing our lifestyles?
Here's the advice the community had to give...


I know how this feels, so so much - I get it. I'm in practically the same situation jobwise too. All I can say is, at some point your going to have to work on your self esteem because if you put yourself down so much it's going to really negatively affect you and your relationships.

In terms of how to stop comparing, I don't have a solution but I think it might help to figure out what you want to do - you obviously don't think retail work/living at home is great - so maybe have a long term plan to change that so then you know it's just temporary and doesn't define you.
Ultimately though - you have to be in the mindset of 'if this was my life forever how would I see myself?' - you need to see your own worth and realize that it doesn't depend on where you live/what job you have. Finally, I don't think anyone has it all figured out , no matter what outward appearance might convey - so don't worry, none of us know what we're doing. [Anonymous]
You can be an interesting person with a boring life. If it bothers you that much, maybe ask for some more casual dates to balance it out. [Eanzi]
Try not to define yourself by focusing on your life, and what you have and haven't achieved. I believe, whatever is going on in peoples lives, there will always be a substance to their character that makes them who they are, and that's what I find interesting. You haven't done the things he's done, but that's okay!! If he respects you for who you are, then he will accept you for you, not by comparing you both. I think you fear that you're not good enough for him. But you yourself have mentioned how he likes the little mannerisms about you, and so he's valuing how unique you are as a human being. You clearly care about your partner, and that in itself should be cherished in a relationship.


And if you want to change your life- do it for you and your own enjoyment, not just to satisfy some one else. You'll end up making alterations to yourself that don't reflect who you are. [Emily.97]
Birds in love
It sounds like the problem is not your relationship/boyfriend but rather that you feel unfulfilled career wise. So perhaps you could do more research/effort into that? The Careers forums on TSR are actually a good place to ask for advice on this. [Morrisseya]
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