Ice-cream crisps and nine other retro foods you've forgotten you loved

Over the years, food manufacturers have ventured into increasingly wacky territory to give customers some innovative tongue-tickling edibles.The resulting products quite often flopped, usually because they were devoid of that one small but vital aspect of food manufacture - taste. But that doesn't mean they didn't have their fans. Indeed, as a discussion on our food and drink forum shows, many of the TSR community are still mourning the loss of their favourite nostalgic nibbles. How many do you remember? 

crisps

Vanilla ice cream flavour Monster Munch

We all can relate to that uneasiness you feel in your stomach, when you bite into something expecting a certain flavour and instead you get the complete opposite. In 2004, Monster Munch released a vanilla ice cream inspired snack, using sugar instead of salt: a shock to the system that was too much for many loyal fans.

juice

Ribena Oooh and Aaargh

Ribena is adored across the UK for its sweet, fruity tang, so for many it would seem unthinkable to contaminate the cherished cartons with other strong flavours, such as menthol or chili. Well, in 2003 Ribena did exactly that, creating Ribena Ooh and Ribena Aaargh to introduce the sensations of cold and hot into their already popular beverage. Unsurprisingly, these new additions to the Ribena repertoire were quickly removed from the public sphere, probably due to debates about which new product tasted worse. 
 

feet

Funny Feet Ice Cream

A staple on the after-school treat menu for any 90s child, Funny Feet ice creams have been missed by many on TSR after they disappeared in the mid-90s. It’s hilarious, on reflection, that a generation of children were roaming the streets sucking on strawberry flavoured toes. TSR members such as Sophie_284 will be thankful that these childhood favourites came back on the market in 2014 – just in time for a whole new generation to run back from the ice cream van, foot in mouth. 

pingu

Pingu Head Ice Cream

This next nostalgia trip comes with sinister implications. The idea of filling a plastic replica of Pingu’s head with ice cream and then tucking in seems like a strange marketing strategy - children symbolically eating the innards of a penguin’s skull. It doesn’t help that Pingu doesn’t look particularly happy – we think he’s had his mouth removed. 

bugs

Bursting Bugs

Another sadistic childhood treat, Rowntrees Bursting Bugs took the curiosity of burning ants with a magnifying glass to a new level – by allowing children to devour them instead. Of course the bugs were made of jelly, however the gooey liquid on the inside of the sweet gave them a gory realism that was popular with the bug-burners of the TSR community. 
 

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kups

Kwenchy Kups


Ah, Kwenchy Kups. In our secondary school cafeteria, the dinner ladies always lost the straws, forcing us to gnaw open the bottom of the cup and ingest an alarming amount of plastic. TotoMimo had an altogether more disquieting experience with the beverage, stating ‘they made my throat physically itchy’, but would always buy them nonetheless. Well TotoMimo, you’ll be glad to know that they are in fact still being sold in Poundlands across the UK. Although you should probably refrain – it sounds like you may be allergic. 

turkey

Turkey Twizzlers

Mournful cries of “Turkey Twizzlers” echo through the pages of the food and drink forum, as people are still treating the loss of this school dinner staple as a crime against humanity. When Bernard Matthews discontinued this product in 2005, after they were made an example of on Jamie’s School Dinners, the blame lay at the feet of Jamie Oliver – one TSR member exclaiming ‘God damn Jamie Oliver, if you don’t want to eat them fine but don’t ruin it for the rest of us!’ (milner001). Since 2005, they have been cemented in foodie legend for epitomising the exciting revelation that many people don’t care about the content of their food, as long as it remains salty and delicious. 

sunny d

Sunny Delight

The indifferent attitude to food and drink content is really shown through SunnyD’s loyal fanbase – a drink which featured heavily in the thread despite having literally turned a child yellow due to its colouring. SunnyD has been relaunched many times, containing as much as 70% juice at one point, however it is the old 90s product that is yearned for regardless of the fact that it contained just 5% juice… 

chips

Ketchips

A true testament to how lazy the Birdseye marketing department think the public is, Ketchips – chips with ketchup inside them – were truly a stroke of genius. In the golden age of the Ketchip, the average human didn’t have to reach for a bottle to saturate their meal with the beloved red sauce – an act considered frustrating and time-consuming by many. We are now back to the dismal dark ages, wherein our lives are ruled by the ketchup bottle, however a name drop of this fabled product brought back memories of a better time, an easier time – the age of the Ketchip.

um bongo

Um Ognob

You might not remember this one, but the aptly named DisconcertingWink1 does, and we had to include it due to the sheer idiocy of the name. Um Ognob was marketed as the sister drink to the popular Um Bongo (‘ognob’ being ‘bongo’ spelt backwards). We’re wondering how that got past the marketing department. It hardly rolls off the tongue. Ognob. Anyway, the unfortunately named product was discontinued at some point around 2002 and now exists in the minds of certain people that still can’t quite remember what it was called (DisconcertingWink1 originally calling it ‘Ognob Mu’.
 

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Can you remember any more bizarre retro foods that are no longer on the shelves?