Social anxiety is a term used to define individuals who have an overwhelming fear of people or social situations. In my mind that sums up this particular subgroup of anxiety quite well. Nowadays people throw around the word anxiety and commonly confuse the line between what is a natural human instinct to what becomes pathological. I’ve had a fear of talking to people for a good six to seven years but the difference is that now, being in my early twenties, I’ve learned how to cut down that fear and keep irrational thoughts at bay when I need to deal with everyday reality.
I don't think anxiety is something that disappears entirely - you just learn how to control it.
As probably the least ‘fashionable’ type of anxiety to have, it’s embarrassing to admit you have difficulties talking with people; you're explicitly exposing you have insecurities and that, God forbid, you may actually care what other people think of those insecurities! But believe me, I've tried and tested many a coping mechanism and have provided a few quick hacks on how to remain in control when your mind is playing tricks on you.
1. Is it real?
Sometimes what's going on in our minds is hyper-amplified or even completely imaginary. Whether you're feeling unusually self-conscious, unfocussed or panicked, pause and think. Is what I'm thinking truly what's being presented in front of me? A small and perhaps, insignificant trigger may spiral into a mass of fearful, hateful or unproductive thoughts so practice telling that voice in your mind to, in effect, shut up, and get on with your next task.
2. Find somewhere quiet.
If like me you're a little (or a lot!) introverted, being around too many people is at times, overwhelming. Some individuals feed off of social interaction whereas others require periods of personal space to recharge. Believe it or not, it is partly biological so a large proportion of us are genetically designed to not be as loud or outgoing 100% of the time. Finding that quiet time will enable you to re-centre your thoughts, sift through the rubbish and have a minute alone to breathe.
3. It's not always about you.
If I've realised anything evaluating when my anxiety crops up, it's that a lot of the time, I'm thinking way too much about myself. Whether I'm giving a presentation to a group or simply standing on the train platform during rush hour, my focus is usually entirely self-centred when I'm anxious. Ultimately, the basis of a lot of fears originates from us assessing or trying to predict the judgement from others. This is ludicrous because how can we be so sure as to know what others are thinking?! The answer is we cannot. Try to realise the environment surrounding you is much bigger than you alone and in that line of thought, you'll place much less pressure on yourself.
I truly hope these tips could be of some use and always try to remember there are many more out there than you think experiencing something very similar to you - we're the same species after all!
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