The dating rulebook- 12 secrets of the perfect date

Ever fantasized about having the perfect first date? 

Dating can be a terrifying prospect and sometimes an amazing date can feel like a fantasy. Our relationship experts have shared with us the secrets of successful dating…

Here’s how to make disaster dates a thing of the past! 

1. Make an effort with your appearance

This might sound obvious but you would be surprised how many people turn up to a date wearing scruffy unwashed clothes or without running a comb through their hair. First impressions are a big deal on a date so make the effort.

2. Don’t be late!

Most people will not appreciate being made to wait for their date and it can result in a sour start. If something crops up that makes being late unavoidable be sure to contact the person and explain the situation and what time you expect to arrive.

3. Avoid getting drunk

Not all dates will include alcohol but if you have gone to a bar or restaurant be sure to pace yourself. It can be tempting to ease your nerves by drinking more but by getting anything more than tipsy you are likely to wake up the next morning with a hangover and regretting all the embarrassing things you said.

4. Don’t doubt yourself

Confidence is key. I’m not saying go overboard with bragging about yourself but a relaxed confidence will make the person you are on the date with feel at ease. Avoid getting into a conversation where you are putting yourself down, focusing on things you are good at/your qualities will be much more likely to impress and result in another date!

5. Don’t be stingy

Dates don’t have to cost a bomb so there is no need to flash your cash to impress the other person but being overly tight with your money can be off-putting. If you’re not willing to buy the next round, you might not be invited to the next round of dates.

6. Use active listening skills

Active listening is a skill that top business people use to create rapport and it can be a key technique to use whilst dating too. All you need to do is repeat back to the speaker what they have been talking about by restating or paraphrasing it. Another tip is to try is to remember small details of information they have told you about themselves i.e. you like cucumber in your G&T right?

7. Laugh at their jokes

We are always more likely to be attracted to someone who makes us laugh and also finds us funny. Don’t try too hard to crack forced jokes during the date but embrace the humour that comes along as you are more likely to remember the date being great if you’ve been laughing through it.

8. Don’t discuss past sexual encounters or relationships

This is a no-go topic. Wait until things are more serious before delving into the exes… or just never go there.

9. Give a sincere compliment

I’m not talking about flattery here but a sincere and genuine compliment. The best time is at the beginning of the date as you can tell the other person how nice they look- never underestimate the value of a true compliment!

10. Talk about the other person’s interests and ask genuine questions

People love to talk about themselves! ‘I’ is the word most used by individuals and your date is likely to feel flattered if you express an interest in them and what they love. Try to keep the conversation engaging by venturing outside of the usual small talk but avoid dominating the conversation.

11. Beware of your body language

Most of what we say is conveyed in our body language and it is often our body that gives away how we truly feel about someone (watch out for next week’s article on how to tell if someone likes you from their body language). Be wary of sitting in a way that makes you seem closed off, such as leaning back with your arms folder. It has been proven that mimicry increases attractiveness so try subtly reflecting your date’s body language back to them. Eye contact is also key and a good flirtation device, there’s no need to be too intense but try not to spend the date staring off into the distance.

12. Be yourself

Forget about playing games- that person has already agreed to go on a date with you so there is no need to be someone you’re not and if they don’t like you as you are then there is no point dating them anyway!

To discuss your dating tips and worst experiences join in the thread here!