jealousy - what does he want?

a while back when my boyfriend ("innocently") flirted with other girls or made inappropriate comments, i used to get annoyed/upset, understandably, more because of the lack of consideration than fear he'd leave me. his reaction was to overreact and get annoyed back at me, accusing me of jealousy, not wanting him to hang out with his friends etc..
now, i'm more laid back, having decided to accept whatever happens
so yesterday we had the following conversation about the new harry potter film over IM (he wasn't joking):
- hermione and ginny are the sex
- i think so too
-i like the way they dress... i'd get with them
-lol good luck
- are you upset? jealous?
-no, it doesn't really bother me now
- why? :frown:

-meh dunno maybe because they're not real
- don't you love me any more?

is he playing games? so i'm at fault if i'm jealous and again at fault if i'm not? someone please enlighten me
jealousy=love in his eyes?

Reply 1

monkeyround

Maybe it's a way for him to get your attention because he doesn't feel loved enough.

Reply 2

Anonymous #1

Original post by monkeyround

Maybe it's a way for him to get your attention because he doesn't feel loved enough.

i give him all my attention.. i do far more for him than i'd expect for myself

He's a dramaqueen

It sounds like he liked the fact that you used to get jealous, with it showing that you cared about what he did with other girls. So with him used to you getting jealous, he now believes that you don't 'care' about him anymore because you don't 'care' about what he does, and this is because you have accepted his behaviour. You haven't done anything wrong, just simply tell him that the things he says about other girls doesn't bother you anymore because why should it (but make sure he is aware that this doesn't necessarily mean he can make more inappropriate comments). It's just that you have become the better person, and he needs to stop trying to make you jealous :smile:

Reply 5

markrush

Imho he was without doubt trying to press your buttons. Probably some security issues, if she gets mad she loves me. I had an ex that used to try that on me. Trouble is she was paranoid about everyone I knew and I really didn't have any issues at all.

Opinion: if they love you they won't stray, if they stray, no loss.

I remember the day she went through my fb and phone. Suggested I delete a lot of people and questioned every text I had. The phone thing actually caused me to get angry for the first time with her. Total liberty.

Oh and biggest shocker here, you don't hate Ginny? :wink:

(edited 13 years ago)

Reply 6

Anonymous #1

Original post by markrush

exactly this
i have a girl crush on both of them actually lmao

Reply 7

markrush

Original post by Anonymous

exactly this
i have a girl crush on both of them actually lmao

Lol so it is just you and you alone who support here. I guess I am neutral :smile:

Is your bf on TSR? Since the anon.

Reply 8

Anonymous #1

Original post by markrush

Lol so it is just you and you alone who support here. I guess I am neutral :smile:

Is your bf on TSR? Since the anon.

yeah..
what's the issue with ginny? lol i haven't been on TSR in a while

Reply 9

markrush

Original post by Anonymous

yeah..
what's the issue with ginny? lol i haven't been on TSR in a while

You know he might work it out from this....

I sensed from a lot of online general posting that Ginny is very hated.

Actually you should have said one of the guys was hot, see what happened!