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Need help- English language?

Okay I'm doing my commentary, and I'm saying; 'To portray the jealousy I used language such as ‘Not surprisingly’ ‘envy’ and ‘bloody git,’ all negative sentences.' Is this correct? Are they negative sentences or is there a better way to describe them? I basically want to describe the techniques I used to portray the jealousy of one character of 3 others.

please anyone

Well, they're not sentences, for a start and you'd probably get a few more marks for describing them for what they are (adverb phrase, noun phrase and noun phrase) and talking a bit more specifically about each one.

Catch-all comments about "negative" language don't get very many marks, so go for something like a specific example and then "The character has used the noun phrase x to describe character y, reflecting their z attitude towards y..." A bit of detail always helps...

Reply 3

ily_em

Original post by merkatron

Depends how many words they have; when I did this kind of commentary for English language I only had 500 words :nooo:

so writing that much could be a waste of space. However what you've said is good if they have lots of space :yep:

Also OP, if you don't write what this dude said ^^ at least change 'negative sentences' to 'negative words' or something similar!

Reply 4

merkatron

Original post by ily_em

Depends how many words they have; when I did this kind of commentary for English language I only had 500 words :nooo:

so writing that much could be a waste of space.

Yeah, you're right. the wordcount is very tight, but you'll get more for a few concise analytical sentences (what we call identify, label, exemplify, effect, but others probably call PEE or similar) than generalisations.

The key thing to keeping wordcount down (IME) is scrapping all the tedious background stuff that lots of students write ("I wrote this song lyric because I was inspired by the emotional impact of Funeral For a Friend. I remember the night well that I first heard it..." and blahdeblah).

Cut to the chase and try to link everything to the genre, structure and language you've chosen. That's what I'd suggest anyway.