Best friend dating Ex Girlfriend that I'm still in love with / coping with depression

I've had a really rough time lately and I need someone to talk to.

A few months ago my girlfriend of 2 years left me, we were completely head over heels in love and I was sure that she was the girl I wanted to be with forever. Then one day she told me she wasn't happy and she didn't love me anymore and needed time apart. She told me that she didn't want to be in a relationship at the moment. I didn't take this well and spent weeks in bed unable to eat or sleep, all I ever thought about was her. I contemplated suicide many times. My friends weren't sympathetic at all and pretty much just told me to get over it. One friend who I had recently become close to, and I considered my best friend, was particularly harsh about it.

I managed to make it through that month, just. And then uni started, this was a huge help for me. An opportunity to start fresh and make a group of real friends, which I achieved, but I still thought about her every day and longed to be back together again.

Yesterday I discovered that my now ex girlfriend is dating the friend who I had considered to be my best friend. When I got angry about it she accused me of not wanting her to be happy. I still love her with all my heart. She was my first and only kiss and I was hers. Now every time I close my eyes I see him touching her her and kissing her and her loving him back. I haven't eaten or slept since I found out.

I have no one to talk to as I feel that all my friends have betrayed me by allowing this to happen without me knowing. I've cut off contact with everyone I knew back home. The worst thing is that he is in uni too, and she thinks that their relationship can work. If she was feeling lonely why couldn't she come back to me?

I don't know anyone who's been in a similar situation that I can talk to about this. We were together for so long and have so many memories, how could she do this to me?

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Reply 1

FattyInNeed

He's not your best friend, he's a p****.

Forget him, forget her, move on and those two deserve each other, don't go down to their level.

You deserve better friends and better girlfriends. Chin up lad. :smile:

Reply 2

DOA

Your friend is a dick. you cant go out with your friends exs and your REALLY cant if the relationship was ended not by their choice. She is being evil aswell telling you you dont want her to be happy, she ended it and when you end it you should be considering the other person more. She sounds like a selfish bitch and what shes doing is ****y by dating a friend so soon because you cant just forget about it and its in your face

Reply 3

jgreen

Thanks for the quick replies guys. It's a real boost already to know that I'm not in the wrong here.

Reply 4

FattyInNeed

Original post by jgreen

Thanks for the quick replies guys. It's a real boost already to know that I'm not in the wrong here.

You fell in love - nothing wrong with that.

Just with the wrong girl.

Meet some new people at uni, or if you have a job.

Go out, have fun with your friends, make new ones, stop worrying about her. She's a waste of time.

You can do much better. A lot better. Just put yourself out there and hopefully somebody who you deserve, you shall find.

Good luck buddy. :hugs:

Reply 5

montjuic

Mate, chin up, find one of your mates that you can trust and lean on em and have a chat with them. Best thing is just to get on and concentrate on making yourself happy without her, that doesn't necessarily mean go out trying to pull, just do stuff that you like. If you can do that then you can get yourself through the time it takes for you to get over her. Even if it doesn't seem possible, you will get over her eventually.

Good luck dude!

Reply 6

4TSR

What goes around comes back around.

Reply 7

FattyInNeed

Original post by 4TSR

What goes around comes back around.

Yep, she'll do the same with the 'best friend'.

And then another guy.

And then another guy.

And then another guy.

And then a piano will land on her head.

Bitch. :colonhash:

Reply 8

jgreen

Original post by montjuic

Thanks, I just had a chat and a hug with one of my flatmates, which made a big difference. Hugs are what I miss the most. Not only has my comfort zone been taken away completely but one of my best friends has replaced me in it. It's hard that Christmas is coming up too and I'm not going to have any of my new friends around. It's going to be the worst Christmas yet. I won't have any friends to see or hang out with when I get home. And at the same time I know they're going to be really happy having an exciting first christmas together and still be able to hang out with all my old friends.

Reply 9

partoftheweekend

Original post by jgreen

man up, it happens to everyone. time will sort it (as would getting a new girl....)

Reply 10

4TSR

Original post by FattyInNeed

Yep, she'll do the same with the 'best friend'.

And then another guy.

And then another guy.

And then another guy.

And then a piano will land on her head.

Bitch. :colonhash:

If by piano you mean my penis I think you're pretty much spot on :cool:

Reply 11

JuliF

I'm ashamed to call myself human when I read or hear a story like yours. Seriously, you should never ever think about them again, those two don't belong to mankind.

Reply 12

ambrin ox

Original post by jgreen

I dont think that guy deserves to be your best friend or the girl deserves your love, sometimes people can be really mean and ignorant, and try to cheer up :smile:

] ,

you are just going through a tough time, itll be over soon if you do start thinking positive, there are hundred other girls, who actually do deserve to be with you,

good luck, think positive, you'll definitely notice the change,

(edited 13 years ago)

Reply 13

semiotically

you'll see a different side to life now...

Reply 14

jgreen

Original post by semiotically

you'll see a different side to life now...

Not quite sure what you're implying here? The side of life that I'm seeing at the moment is quite dark :frown:

Reply 15

silverbolt

ok firstly stop asking yourself why she wouldnt come to you - frankly shes not going to, she ended the relationship which in her mind is the right thing to do. Its over and you need to accept that. At this stage it wont be easy to do but it will come in time

However your friend dating her is a pretty callous thing to do and he should have had more respect for you, you dont need people like that.

It sounds trite but time is a great healer and in truth the only healer, a year down the line (an impossibly long way away at this point i know but its really not) and you wont be feeling the way you are now.

Another thing that helps is a ONS, im not about sex with feelings, i mean a straight up shag. Its a great way for sorting out your head.

Best of luck OP

Reply 16

jgreen

Original post by silverbolt

Another thing that helps is a ONS, im not about sex with feelings, i mean a straight up shag. Its a great way for sorting out your head.

I don't know about that, I've never even kissed another girl. Whenever I think about the female body I see hers, she's all I've ever known. It's like there's a barrier that I don't even want to break down.

Reply 17

Meh.

First, your friend and ex are douches. But that's their problem.

You are still thinking about her, longing to get back together with her. If you continue thinking like that then you'll never get over her.

Reply 18

ponpon14

This must be really difficult, and i know this sounds horrible, but hte only thing that will help you is time. Maybe you could talk to your guy best friend how you feel about him seeing her? See if its for real or a fling?

Id say you really should try and eat something though, even if its a snack or two, something is better than nothing.
I hope you feel better soon.
*Hugs*

Reply 19

Chad Storm

Original post by jgreen

I've had a really rough time lately and I need someone to talk to.

I don't know anyone who's been in a similar situation that I can talk to about this. We were together for so long and have so many memories, how could she do this to me?

hi there. did u irritate her or do anythin to make her feel like crap prior to the 'time-out'?

some friends are like your friend. they're snakes who bite when u're half-asleep. look at it this way. u've started uni, they're tons of gals out there, school load is gonna be heavy, so channel your energy to the right areas.

its better that she threw in the white flag now rather than do so the day before your 3rd year exams. rite?

they're definitely many other better girls out there. don't go looking for love. it'll just happen. but in the meantime, do well in uni cos paper qualifications matter the most at the end of the day.