Has anyone been travelling whilst in a relationship?

Keep your relationship open instead of monogamous, then. Come on, let's get real here....you can't expect a guy not to have sex or do anything with anyone else for 8 months.

Trying to keep this relationship as monogamous is the ****ing stupidest thing in the world. Monogamous relationships only work if you both live near each other....LDRs don't work, and it's ****ing unreaslistic to expect your bf not to see anyone else if you just buggar off for 8 months. You don't own him, and he doesn't own you.

And what's to say you wont want sex etc with other guys while travelling?

The very fact you're going travelling proves your relationship isn't your number 1 priority, so it's probably time to break up or at least take a break from each other for 8 months.....let your bf see who he wants during that period, and give yourself permission to see other guys during this period.

People change and grow in life....maybe after the 8 months is up, you will have 'outgrown' your bf. Travelling really expands a person's perspective on life, and you probably won't want to go back to your stale relationship after having your experience of life expanded.

To me, it just seems like you're trying to cling onto something that is past it's sell by date. Go out and live and experience life. Get some life experience, figure out who you are and what you want out of life. THEN worry about having serious relationships. It just cracks me up when people lock themselves into 'serious monogamous relationships' when they're so young and haven't even experienced life yet. It is just plain ridiculous.

You have to choose which fork in the road you are going to take....a monogamous relationship OR the travelling. They are 2 different roads. They cannot work together. You cannot go down 2 roads simultaneously, which is basically what you're trying to do. But it's not reality.

Yeah that's a very sweet idea
Try not to let missing/ worrying about him ruin your experience travelling. After all, what's 8 months when you have the rest of your lives together?

I met a few girls travelling who had boyfriends back home, but ended up cheating on their travels. Usually it was because they were travelling with other girls, who were single, and the single girls would be getting with different guys etc while they were missing their boyfriend at home, and in the end they'd be on a beautiful beach, watching a sunset surrounded by a backdrop of mountains, and they'd be having a deep conversation with some hot guy they'd met in a hostel who would lean over and kiss them, and they wouldn't say no, and that's how it would happen. In the end some of them manage to compartmentalise their life into 'real life' and 'travels' ie what goes on tour, stays on tour. I know from keeping in touch through facebook with a girl I met on my travels, that as soon as she got back home she picked things back up with her boyfriend, he will probably never know the things I knew about her....

Keep your relationship open instead of monogamous, then. Come on, let's get real here....you can't expect a guy not to have sex or do anything with anyone else for 8 months.

Trying to keep this relationship as monogamous is the ****ing stupidest thing in the world. Monogamous relationships only work if you both live near each other....LDRs don't work, and it's ****ing unreaslistic to expect your bf not to see anyone else if you just buggar off for 8 months. You don't own him, and he doesn't own you.

And what's to say you wont want sex etc with other guys while travelling?

The very fact you're going travelling proves your relationship isn't your number 1 priority, so it's probably time to break up or at least take a break from each other for 8 months.....let your bf see who he wants during that period, and give yourself permission to see other guys during this period.

People change and grow in life....maybe after the 8 months is up, you will have 'outgrown' your bf. Travelling really expands a person's perspective on life, and you probably won't want to go back to your stale relationship after having your experience of life expanded.

To me, it just seems like you're trying to cling onto something that is past it's sell by date. Go out and live and experience life. Get some life experience, figure out who you are and what you want out of life. THEN worry about having serious relationships. It just cracks me up when people lock themselves into 'serious monogamous relationships' when they're so young and haven't even experienced life yet. It is just plain ridiculous.

You have to choose which fork in the road you are going to take....a monogamous relationship OR the travelling. They are 2 different roads. They cannot work together. You cannot go down 2 roads simultaneously, which is basically what you're trying to do. But it's not reality.

With all due respect, that's ridiculous. Long-distance relationships DO work - I'm an example of that, and I know at least two previously long-distance couples who have since moved in with each other and are now getting married. Yes, it's anecdotal evidence, but it's not like yours is anything more.

You're right - a person doesn't own their partner, instead they have free will. And if they want to use that free will to stay with each other, then more power to them.

And how exactly do you know that the poster's relationship is 'stale'? Boredom in a relationship is not the sole reason for wanting to go travelling, you know. And I don't get the impression that the poster is locking herself into anything. It just seems like someone loves their boyfriend and doesn't want to lose them just because they're going travelling for a while.

I don't believe that travelling and monogamous relationships are mutually exclusive, either. My boyfriend and I stayed faithful to each other for a year.

Yep, from my house to hers. Not that hard tbh.

Thank heavens for someone else replying to his post! I don't know where he got the impression my relationship was 'stale' or the fact that i want to see the world means i don't love my boyfriend?

I'm young, i've fallen in love but am not about to change my hopes and dreams of seeing what's out there change just because i have fallen in love... Surely it's possible to have both?

With all due respect, that's ridiculous. Long-distance relationships DO work - I'm an example of that, and I know at least two previously long-distance couples who have since moved in with each other and are now getting married. Yes, it's anecdotal evidence, but it's not like yours is anything more.

You're right - a person doesn't own their partner, instead they have free will. And if they want to use that free will to stay with each other, then more power to them.

And how exactly do you know that the poster's relationship is 'stale'? Boredom in a relationship is not the sole reason for wanting to go travelling, you know. And I don't get the impression that the poster is locking herself into anything. It just seems like someone loves their boyfriend and doesn't want to lose them just because they're going travelling for a while.

I don't believe that travelling and monogamous relationships are mutually exclusive, either. My boyfriend and I stayed faithful to each other for a year.

I stand by everything I said in my reply.

Seriously, how badly deluded are people who think that they can be on one side of the world and their 'boyfriend' or 'girlfriend' can be be on other side of the world, yet you can still somehow 'maintain a relationship'?

To have a relationship you have to actually be together in person, not just have some kind of 'internet based' relationship where you talk over Facebook/Skype/Msn/Email etc.

Travelling and monogamous relationships aren't mutually exclusive? Yeah right. How can you be in different countries yet still maintain a relationship. That's bull****.

If you're going to go travelling for an extended period of time, live in reality and don't try and hold onto a monogamous relationship while you're not together. Let each other do their own thing while you're apart, and then when you arrive back home then you can see if you still want to be together then.

What's the point in going travelling (which is supposed to be about FREEDOM and experiencing more of life), if you constantly have to 'check in' with or 'check up' on someone back home in another country who you're not even together with. That's just silly. Leave each other be and to live your lives separately if you can't physically be together.

All this LDR bull**** leads to jealousy, mistrust, constantly wondering if your partner is 'cheating' on you, etc etc. The way out of all that **** is to just let each other be to do what you want while you're not together. If you're not actually together, it's not a relationship anyway.

It just amazes me how immature and deluded people are about this sort of thing!

If I was in a monogamous relationship and my gf decided to go travelling for 8 months, I'd be happy for her to go and do what she needs to do....and I'd keep the relationship open. She'd be free to do what she wanted and free to see whoever she wanted during those 8 months, and so would I. It would be pointless trying to 'maintain a monogamous relationship' with someone who isn't there.

And after the 8 months, if we still felt the same way about each other, we'd reconnect; if not then fair enough we'd go our separate ways.

But surely, if you really really love each other, throwing it all away and letting distance come between you is stupid. In my case, the trip was planned before we got together and certainly bears no reflection to my feelings (or lack of) for him.

I've taken what you've said and respected it - is it not possible you see what i'm saying?

You need to sit down with your bf and talk to him openly and honestly about all the points I mentioned (if you can't talk to him openly and honestly, then your relationship isn't a strong relationship).

REALITY is that either of you could meet someone else and have sex with them during this period apart....

REALITY is that you're going to get sick of having 'check in with' and 'check up on' each other during this period apart....

REALITY is that you're both going to have feelings of jealousy and insecurity because you will NEVER be 100% certain if either of you have cheated....

REALITY is that instead of 100% being in the moment and enjoying the experiences on your travels, you are going to be thinking what's going on with your partner back home....

If you can handle these realities, then by all means go ahead. But unless you can talk to your bf openly about these things and how you and him are going to deal with them, then you're going to run into problems. So my advice is to sit down with your bf and discuss these things and the solutions. How would you deal with it if he had sex with another girl while you were away, for example? Would you forgive him? Or would you prefer not to know? You need to talk about these things....

I personally couldn't be bothered with keeping a relationship going while I (or my gf) went travelling for a 8 months. To me, it'd be too much hassle and wouldn't work for me. I'd just keep it open.

THAT is because you have never found anyone who you have loved enough to want to. Period.

You didn't answer my questions...

And if I loved someone that much I wouldn't just buggar off for 8 months. But I'm not a fan of monogamous relationships anyway, I prefer non-monogamous relationships.