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Lack of confidence.

In regards to my self esteem, I thought that I was actually getting better but the last month or so have been such a low point for me. Two years ago, my self confidence was so bad that I couldn't look in the mirror for very long or I would end up crying. I started getting better once I began receiving male attention (yeah, I know it is silly to base your worth on that), however lately I can feel myself slipping back. Iwas making myself sick every day for three weeks untill two weeks ago (I gave up due to the horrible effects) and still didn't lose any weight, my skin is worse than ever, my hair is horrible and dry, and I just feel awful. Male attention is no longer making me feel like I am not completely hideous.

My low confidence is affecting other areas of my life too, because of it I have been missing some important lectures, stopped going to the society I joined up to, never dated anyone, and spending most of my time feeling like crap :frown:. I constantly feel that I am not good enough for anyone and anything.

How can I make myself more confident?

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Reply 1
Aww I have no idea how to help cos I have low self-esteem issues myself, but I just wanna give you a hug :frown: *hugs you*:smile:
Reply 2
discover makeup and experiement with it, it can do amazing things.
also, pick up a team sport and take it up.
dress nicely.
Sucks to be you.

Edit: These neg reppers must think it's great to be the OP.
(edited 13 years ago)
Reply 4
Original post by simtacular
Aww I have no idea how to help cos I have low self-esteem issues myself, but I just wanna give you a hug :frown: *hugs you*:smile:


Thank you, it is just a relief to know that someone can relate. I want to be able to like myself and not criticise myself for every little thing I do wrong. My main fear is failure because if I fail at something it knocks my confidence down even further.

I am really not sure why i am like this but it could be down to my childhood which wasn't the best, bipolar mother, sexual abuse, and being a loner at school being constantly called ugly and stupid. It is difficult to move on from the past, and even now that I am getting quite a bit of attention from guys I still feel hideous.
Reply 5
Original post by Trottoir
discover makeup and experiement with it, it can do amazing things.
also, pick up a team sport and take it up.
dress nicely.


I do wear make-up and I have experimented with it.
I don't play sport but I walk a lot and exercise at home. When I get some money, I am going to the gym. I am not fat, actually I am a size 10 but I would like to be thin like most girls I see.
I do try and dress nicely.
Reply 6
Original post by SatanIsAwesome
Sucks to be you.


Thanks, captain obvious!
Reply 7
lol...I can assure you that I am neither of those!
Reply 8
Original post by Anonymous
Thank you, it is just a relief to know that someone can relate. I want to be able to like myself and not criticise myself for every little thing I do wrong. My main fear is failure because if I fail at something it knocks my confidence down even further.

I am really not sure why i am like this but it could be down to my childhood which wasn't the best, bipolar mother, sexual abuse, and being a loner at school being constantly called ugly and stupid. It is difficult to move on from the past, and even now that I am getting quite a bit of attention from guys I still feel hideous.


If you are getting quite a bit of attention surely you can realise that you can't be as hideous as you think you are?
I mean you have to take the positives out of yourself and not just look at the negatives.
Reply 9
your hair and skin isnt exactly going to be great if you are throwing up every day is it......

(solution: make up!)
Reply 10
Original post by simtacular
If you are getting quite a bit of attention surely you can realise that you can't be as hideous as you think you are?
I mean you have to take the positives out of yourself and not just look at the negatives.


Yeah, true! I manage to turn even the positives into the negatives, for example, I had about 10 different guys approach me on one night out recently but I just kept telling myself that they only found me attractive because they had "beer googles" on or were joking around.

Original post by Lozza_00
your hair and skin isnt exactly going to be great if you are throwing up every day is it......

(solution: make up!)


I am not throwing up anymore, well except for the other day but I am definately stopping now. I want to be healthy :smile:.

haha makeup is my friend and I do use it!
Original post by Anonymous
Yeah, true! I manage to turn even the positives into the negatives, for example, I had about 10 different guys approach me on one night out recently but I just kept telling myself that they only found me attractive because they had "beer googles" on or were joking around.

:rolleyes: you're probably really beautiful and just can't see it :colondollar:
Plus you sound quite interesting. Me thinks you are a wasted talent :wink:
Original post by Anonymous
I do wear make-up and I have experimented with it.
I don't play sport but I walk a lot and exercise at home. When I get some money, I am going to the gym. I am not fat, actually I am a size 10 but I would like to be thin like most girls I see.
I do try and dress nicely.

i'm a szize 12-14 and 2 years ago i was a size 8! (i'm assuming we are talking uk sizes) i would love to be size 10 again. but it's just hard work and determination.

you can buy quite cheap exercise equipment. my family have told me hulahooping every day for an hour works, and i persoanlly did see the difference.
and asda do some quite good things, i'ts worth searching the internet for help on looking better

your skin and hair will be looking back because of the constant being sick, just make sure you have a good diet... lots of greens :wink:

also maybe invest in some self-help books? maybe spend a day with your girlfirends go and get a make over (splash out a bit)

i dont know what else to suggest, sorry if ti doesnt help
Reply 13
you don't become more confident, you accept that you are un-confident. i've found that it's more about that, than it is about being something that you aren't. try and exercise, and do things you enjoy. make an effort with people - make it your goal. stop smoking, overeating, and looking in the mirror too much. try and relax. think of how great life is, objectively, and shape your life so that yours can reap the benefits. help people, and let people halp you. do things like yoga if you're a girl.
Reply 14
If you're gonna try lose weight, just dont eat at all. It's easier and less disgusting than bulimia
Original post by Ben77mc
If you're gonna try lose weight, just dont eat at all. It's easier and less disgusting than bulimia


no, not eating at all is not a good way to lose weight.
Reply 16
Original post by elldeegee
no, not eating at all is not a good way to lose weight.


Want a bet?
Original post by Anonymous
In regards to my self esteem, I thought that I was actually getting better but the last month or so have been such a low point for me. Two years ago, my self confidence was so bad that I couldn't look in the mirror for very long or I would end up crying. I started getting better once I began receiving male attention (yeah, I know it is silly to base your worth on that), however lately I can feel myself slipping back. Iwas making myself sick every day for three weeks untill two weeks ago (I gave up due to the horrible effects) and still didn't lose any weight, my skin is worse than ever, my hair is horrible and dry, and I just feel awful. Male attention is no longer making me feel like I am not completely hideous.

My low confidence is affecting other areas of my life too, because of it I have been missing some important lectures, stopped going to the society I joined up to, never dated anyone, and spending most of my time feeling like crap :frown:. I constantly feel that I am not good enough for anyone and anything.

How can I make myself more confident?


I know how you feel and I am male. I often don't feel good enough, although, apparenty Im decent looking but Im still insecure. U should try going to the gym and helping out yourself by getting into shape if you're not and feeling better about yourself
Reply 18
Get a haircut and ask for a good treatment for your hair. Go on a healthy diet, lots of fruits and vegetables, it will also lighten your mood. Cut out sugar and read meat.
If your skin is really bad, see a dermatologist. If it is acne, there are effective treatments for that.
Arrange some home "spa"-days; it doesn't have to be expensive. Just take some time to do a peeling, foot bath, use some lotions and polish your nails and toenails in some nice colours. It'll make you feel feminine :smile:

And don't expect to wake up one day and be confident. It takes time. Learn to give compliments to others - it'll increase chances you'll get some in return. And try one exercise: every time you see a woman, try to think of three things you like about her. Not the obvious things (that could make you jealous), but the subtle things, or something about her personality. It may change the way you look at beauty over time.

This all sound clichéd, but worth a shot :wink:
I replaced any issues concerning my self-esteem with a narcissistic god-complex. Which seems arrogant, but as a result, I nigh on constantly feel great about myself as a person. In fact, I've never been unhappy with myself. I radiate awesomeness.

You should give it a try. Unfortunately, there's a fine line between pulling it off and being incredibly arrogant. Luckily, the years have helped me to near enough master it. Near enough. :h:

Edit: People keep telling you to cut your hair, go on a diet, etc etc... but what do you think? Is it a materialistic change you need, or a personality change? :holmes:
I've really been overusing that smiley tonight... I wonder why :holmes:
(edited 13 years ago)

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