you don't become more confident, you accept that you are un-confident. i've found that it's more about that, than it is about being something that you aren't. try and exercise, and do things you enjoy. make an effort with people - make it your goal. stop smoking, overeating, and looking in the mirror too much. try and relax. think of how great life is, objectively, and shape your life so that yours can reap the benefits. help people, and let people halp you. do things like yoga if you're a girl.