Attracted to Pakistani girl

So there's this girl in one of my seminar groups that I really like. We get on really well and have the same warped sense of humour. However, she is quite a strict muslim, or at least appears so. She always wears hijab, tuts at girls wearing skirts and me wearing shorts once (wtf?) and lectures me on how my lifestyle is leading me "down the wrong path" yadayada. Besides this one aspect of her personality (religion) I find her kind and charming. I'm starting to develop a crush on her.

Could any muslims give me a perspective on whether we could be in a relationship, what her male family members reactions would be etc.

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Reply 1

Drunk Punx

I personally couldn't deal with that in a relationship. It pissed me off enough that some of my atheist ex's kept going on at me about how much I drink and smoke, so I couldn't really imagine what it would be like should someone religious do so.

Reply 2

mirin?

Stay the **** away. Alarm bells bro.

Reply 3

Mujeriego

There is no point. She is too strict(ish) to consider you as anything more than a friend since Muslim girls can't get with non-Muslim guys.

And her dad would pimp slap you. I hope you have life insurance. :h:

Reply 4

Anonymous #1

Original post by Mujeriego

That's not fair. I thought Islam was meant to be tolerant n stuff.

Lol, really?

Are you muslim?

Reply 5

Studentus-anonymous

Original post by Anonymous

Depends if you find religion a deal breaker. She obviously is unlikely to hook up with you regardless seeing as her faith and culture will be leaning strongly on her to marry within the faith and community.

Personally I couldn't date someone with serious religious convictions, it would just grate with my world view.

But hey best of luck OP, your life.

Reply 6

Mujeriego

Original post by Anonymous

That's not fair. I thought Islam was meant to be tolerant n stuff.

Lol, really?

Are you muslim?

Yes to both questions. It isn't a case of fair/unfair because religion, like surnames or nationality is passed down from the father's side. Just like in Judaism where the matrilineal side accounts for determining the child's identity, Islam places importance on the father's background. The only way around that is to convert to Islam but I doubt anyone would do that for a random bird on their course. I was just joking about the life insurance stuff though.

But it would help if you wrote your will just in case. :tongue:

Reply 7

bird_106

Theres no harm in trying anyway and see how it goes
if she accepts you in a relationship then its good if not then at least you wont have the feeling that you never tried..if you know what i mean, personally being a muslim i dont think religion should affect anything at this young age, its not like you are going to get married.

show her you love her more than anyone else? :smile:

Reply 8

Dirac Delta Function

Original post by Anonymous

Could any muslims give me a perspective on whether we could be in a relationship,

Original post by Anonymous

what her male family members reactions would be etc.

gtfo

Reply 9

fell

Original post by Anonymous

hmmmm, this is weird.
you say shes strict and tuts at girls wearing skirts and you wearing shorts and lectures. Yet if she was that strict then she wouldn't be laughing and talking to you to begin with. - which makes me think that she already has feelings for you

I'm a Muslim and far from strict but i would still only consider going into a relationship if i knew it was going to be really serious. not merely a 'crush' and by serious, i mean like engagement/marriage which i know terrifies most people, hahah

if we assume that she is prepared to go into relationship with you then she'll probably do so behind her parents back, but these things never lasts long and she probably wont sleep with you or anything.

even if you were really serious about her ( ie wanting to marry her) you would have to convert to Islam. that's the only way her parents will even accept you. a Muslim girl has to marry a Muslim man

BUT, not all Muslims feel like that, I'm not Pakistani, I'm Arab and my parents don't really care who i marry (white,black,Asian,chinese) as long as they are Muslim and decent. some other parents however, will only allow their daughter to marry someone from the same country as them ie her parents might only let her marry
a Pakistani man. if you are serious about her you could argue the case because in Islam it states that a Muslim girl can marry a Muslim man no matter where he's from. the whole marrying from the same country thing is just culture.

it all depends on how much you like her and how far your prepared to sacrifice for her. if your looking for some fun romance while your at uni, she not the girl for you, I'm sorry :frown:

ps- sorry for the long reply :smile:

Reply 10

Anonymous #1

Original post by bird_106

Thanks for advice. I do want to give it a shot but I'm nervous about getting in trouble with her family. Reason I'm nervous is because of reaction of the poster below you, sadly quite commonplace.

Reply 11

Sawasdee

You need to convert into Islam to marry her :biggrin:

This is NOT a joke. My sis married Muslim guy and she converted herself into Islam prior to marriage.

Reply 12

Dirac Delta Function

Original post by Anonymous

Thanks for advice. I do want to give it a shot but I'm nervous about getting in trouble with her family. Reason I'm nervous is because of reaction of the poster below you, sadly quite commonplace.

You're assuming that her family is going to be what stops you being together, as opposed to her.
If I were you, I'd talk to her about it. I'm just telling you two things - one is that Islam does not permit a Muslim woman to be with a non-Muslim man, which is just a fact. The second is that it if it did get to the stage of her family knowing about a relationship, they would not be happy about it. This is not a fact, just an estimation of the most likely scenario.

Reply 13

Cities

Original post by Anonymous

That's not fair. I thought Islam was meant to be tolerant n stuff.

Lol, really?

Are you muslim?

Lol, out of all the things used to describe Islam, you came up with tolerant?

Is there any chance of you converting to Islam?

Reply 14

In2deep

Original post by Anonymous

That's not fair. I thought Islam was meant to be tolerant n stuff.

Lol, really?

Are you muslim?

It's as if you planned this ~~troll~~ response :rolleyes:

- She probably isn't interested in you if she is as religious as you make her seem.
- She wouldn't be interested in any of the "usual" stuff people would do at that age.
- And if things do get serious then you won't be able to marry her unless you yourself are a Muslim.

(edited 13 years ago)

Reply 15

F i s

There's always conversion.

Reply 16

Anonymous #1

Original post by n1r4v

Lol, out of all the things used to describe Islam, you came up with tolerant?

Is there any chance of you converting to Islam?

Muslims tell me its tolerant, peaceful. Well she's the only muslim I really know so thats what she tells me...

Reply 17

Anonymous #1

Original post by In2deep

It's as if you planned this ~~troll~~ response :rolleyes:

Paranoid.

She does "normal" stuff. Going to cinema, shopping. She went with me to my friends punk gig.

Not really looking to marry her tbh... :s-smilie:

Reply 18

START23

It will last for 10 days when there is a full moon on ramadan

Reply 19

minime23

I would say ask her either directly or indirectly but i would say a muslim girl can't be with a non-muslim
and I doubt that her family would be happy about the match but I could be wrong :smile: