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Reply 100
Original post by I-love-life
yh but my parents have known him for a long time now, and they are ok with guy friends as long as they get to meet them..also my parents know i dont have many girl friends since girls dnt lyk me much, this is da only reason they are ok with guy friends..and my bf used to helped me out in my school work a lot and my parents were ok with this, since they knew him and liked him a lot.


Aww that sounds sweet.. yeah its different thought isn't it with different parents. Your dad more hurt i guess cos like you said he saw him as a son..
Have you heard from him since all this happened?
Reply 101
Original post by Rosi M
Aww that sounds sweet.. yeah its different thought isn't it with different parents. Your dad more hurt i guess cos like you said he saw him as a son..
Have you heard from him since all this happened?


no i haven't :frown: this happened this morning. my cuz and bf go to da same skl, she told me she spoke to him and he was really upset, he is gna talk to his parents abt it and hopefully then can help us :smile: im just waiting for my bf to get home now and get on msn,,im glad my dad is a freshie and isnt aware of msn
Reply 102
Original post by I-love-life
no i haven't :frown: this happened this morning. my cuz and bf go to da same skl, she told me she spoke to him and he was really upset, he is gna talk to his parents abt it and hopefully then can help us :smile: im just waiting for my bf to get home now and get on msn,,im glad my dad is a freshie and isnt aware of msn


that made me lol!
Ah ok hopefully your bf's parents an improve the situation.. but i was just wondering.. will your dad not get more angry at this?
Reply 103
i think your dad was angry because he trusted you and your boyfriend!!!
Reply 104
Original post by Rosi M
that made me lol!
Ah ok hopefully your bf's parents an improve the situation.. but i was just wondering.. will your dad not get more angry at this?


yh he will, u shoulda seen him when my dad asked him if he could marry me, he was gna kill him, im gna tell my bf to tell his parents wait for a good few months and let my dad calm down a bit, im gna put my act together too il stop all the haram things and start praying just to show my dad im sorry..then hopefully it will be ok..in fact i might tell my bf to wait till we finish A2 and his parents can come and talk to my dad before we go to uni :smile: coz we were plannin to move in together i guess that might never happen now :frown:
Original post by Cassandra_Z
Please don't say that it's an "ASIAN" thing because it's not, it may be the case for muslims though but you can't say it for Asians since there are many different types of cultures just in that general category.

I don't know any asians that let there boyfriend call their dad's "Uncle".


Thank you I was about to post something about this.

There is nothing asian about your situation. I'm indian but hindu (well I don't really follow my religion) and my parents have been unbelievably accepting of my white girlfriend. Hell I wish her and my mum got on a bit less because it weirds me out. My parents have never said anything forceful about me and a girlfriend.

Once I had a brief girlfriend who was the same religion as my family and my parents both told me it wont work because she is extremely religious and strict whereas I am the opposite. They were right. Some asian parents only care about your best interests and I hate the bad reputation they sometimes get.
Reply 106
Hahahaa!
Reply 107
Original post by I-love-life
yh he will, u shoulda seen him when my dad asked him if he could marry me, he was gna kill him, im gna tell my bf to tell his parents wait for a good few months and let my dad calm down a bit, im gna put my act together too il stop all the haram things and start praying just to show my dad im sorry..then hopefully it will be ok..in fact i might tell my bf to wait till we finish A2 and his parents can come and talk to my dad before we go to uni :smile: coz we were plannin to move in together i guess that might never happen now :frown:


Inshallah :smile:
Look if you sort your ways out, pull yourself together Allah will definitely show mercy. I know this all probably sounds like a big blergh but believe me it will work.. and im glad your planning on praying etc but do this for Allah not your dad. Just hope your dad is happy seeing a changed you.. but do all this to please Allah so he helps you in this time cos only he can make it right for you now. Also, yeah i think you should tell your boy friends parents to wait for a while.. right now is too early. Let your dad cool down, think about everything, pull himself together too cos remember your dad is also very very hurt in this.. then and yeah like you mentioned your exams, your bf's future etc.. don't want to affect that and i know its going to be hard revising and staying focused on something else whilst all this has happened but hey, maybe its something too hope for. That once A2 has finished.. things may change. Finally like I've mentioned, what will happan will always happan.. keep faith, repent, apologise and keep making an effort with your dad, try keeping a focus (exams, college) and most importantly pray to Allah :smile: xxxx
Friends with benefits?
Reply 109
Original post by Rosi M
Inshallah :smile:
Look if you sort your ways out, pull yourself together Allah will definitely show mercy. I know this all probably sounds like a big blergh but believe me it will work.. and im glad your planning on praying etc but do this for Allah not your dad. Just hope your dad is happy seeing a changed you.. but do all this to please Allah so he helps you in this time cos only he can make it right for you now. Also, yeah i think you should tell your boy friends parents to wait for a while.. right now is too early. Let your dad cool down, think about everything, pull himself together too cos remember your dad is also very very hurt in this.. then and yeah like you mentioned your exams, your bf's future etc.. don't want to affect that and i know its going to be hard revising and staying focused on something else whilst all this has happened but hey, maybe its something too hope for. That once A2 has finished.. things may change. Finally like I've mentioned, what will happan will always happan.. keep faith, repent, apologise and keep making an effort with your dad, try keeping a focus (exams, college) and most importantly pray to Allah :smile: xxxx


thanks hun :smile: xx
Original post by I-love-life
Hey as u can see from my previous thread (http://www.thestudentroom.co.uk/showthread.php?t=1479372) my dad asked me to break up with my bf today and I did.. I called him this morning, my dad was in my room while i called him,
My bf: hey u ok?
Me: couldn’t stop crying and told him i need to see him today
My bf: babe is everything ok? Why u crying?
Me: can’t explain now but u need to come over to mine today, my dad wants us to break up, u need to come to my house now.
My bf: what!!! Why, we haven’t done anything wrong
(this whole convo was on loud speaker)
My dad shouts: u haven’t done anything wrong??? :angry: can u do as your told and get here now.
My bf: hello uncle, yes I will come over right now.
So this was at 7 in the morning today, my bf didn’t go coll and came to my house around 8.
He got here and sat in my living room waiting for my dad. My dad came in and the second he saw my bf, he went crazy, whyyy?? Becuase he knows my bf but he never taught that anything was going on between us, he thought that he was best mate and was lyk a bro to me,.
My dad sat down and my bf said: hello uncle,
My dad: don’t fcking call me ur uncle, u basterd, i trusted u, i loved u lyk my own son and u go and this behind my back.
My bf: I’m very sorry, we are both very sorry but the only reason we lied to u and aunty was because we knew u would be against this relationship
My dad: i don’t want to hear anything, I want you two to end it now and never speak to each other again..
I was crying the whole time
My bf: I’m very sorry for speaking but we really do love each other, why don’t u wana hear us out, what me and (my name) have is more than a crash. I am very proud to say that i love your daughter and I will do anything to be with her,
My dad: are u going to shut up or do i need to kick u out. Lyk i said no more talking., I want u to leave now,
My bf: can u just explain to us, why we need to end it? I want to marry ur daughter when I finish my degree, I understand me and (my name) have done things in the past against your wish, culture and religion. And we are very sorry and I am very sorry if I have been a bad influence to ur daughter in any way, but now we are both grown ups, love each other and want to have a future together, If u let me I want to ask for ur daughter’s hand right here right now?
My dad: hahahaha u think u can ask for her hand and I will hand her over to u? U must think im stupid? Get out of my house, and don’t ever come around.
I was so shocked, couldn’t believe my bf just asked my dad that, I was crying so much, couldn’t even speak, I wanted to go and give him a hug, can’t believe he just officially asked my dad if he i can marry him :O
Anyway my bf looked at me and his eyes were filled my tears, he couldn’t even hug or kiss me good bye, my dad is so heartless, even my mum had tears in her eyes. I really do love my bf, i never actually thought that he loved me this much and tried to talk to my dad, my dad was very angry, so angry that even my mum didn’t have the guts to talk to him to this morning. I stil can’t stop crying, I didn’t sleep all last night, and can’t stop thinking about my bf, it is officially over now :frown: my dad told my mum: tell her to forget this guy, nothing will ever happen between them, unless im dead and she can go and do whatever she wants. I will never let her be with this guy, because they have both lied to me and broken my trust, tell her the sooner she gets over him the better for all of us, he even said Im sure that basterd is with another girl right now!!! How can he say this :frown: im so upset, my mum can’t even help me out, I was begging her to try and persuade my dad somehow And let me at least do nikah (Islamic marriage) with my bf, if this is the only way we can be 2gether but he said NEVER!!! She has to choose me or him!! I don’t know what to do?


MY BF IS NOT MY CUZ< HE ONLY CALLS MY DAD UNCLE TO SHOW HE RESPECTS HIM, IT's A MUSLIM/ASIAN/ME THING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


How old are you?

I know this is probably going to be bad advice, but if I was in your situations I would strongly consider moving out... I thought my dad was bad but jeez. Surely it's going to be hard to live with him after this? You're going to be heartbroken and angry, and your dad is going to be angry. Your boyfriend seems genuinely a great guy :smile: and it seems like you guys will defo last! So I would consider moving in together? Like what are his parents like? If you were extremely nice, you could move in with him?

Ignore the haters. They're dicks.
Reply 111
Original post by SmileyGurl13
How old are you?

I know this is probably going to be bad advice, but if I was in your situations I would strongly consider moving out... I thought my dad was bad but jeez. Surely it's going to be hard to live with him after this? You're going to be heartbroken and angry, and your dad is going to be angry. Your boyfriend seems genuinely a great guy :smile: and it seems like you guys will defo last! So I would consider moving in together? Like what are his parents like? If you were extremely nice, you could move in with him?

Ignore the haters. They're dicks.


If she does that, she would lose her dad.. ?
Reply 112
Original post by I-love-life
thanks hun :smile: xx


No problem. Anytime :smile: xxx
Original post by Rosi M
If she does that, she would lose her dad.. ?


He would forgive her in time.
Reply 114
Original post by SmileyGurl13
How old are you?

I know this is probably going to be bad advice, but if I was in your situations I would strongly consider moving out... I thought my dad was bad but jeez. Surely it's going to be hard to live with him after this? You're going to be heartbroken and angry, and your dad is going to be angry. Your boyfriend seems genuinely a great guy :smile: and it seems like you guys will defo last! So I would consider moving in together? Like what are his parents like? If you were extremely nice, you could move in with him?

Ignore the haters. They're dicks.


hey, im19, no i don't think moving out now is the right decision, if i do so then im losing my parents and it will greatly affect our education, im defo moving out in sep for uni...thanks tho :smile:
Reply 115
Original post by SmileyGurl13
He would forgive her in time.


hmmm i dont know.. i mean hes gone this angry after finding out they were seeing each other, i don't think his reaction will be pleasant after finding out they have moved in together! Im Asian/Indian/Muslim.. i know how our parents are like about these issues.. stuff like moving in with boyfriend before marriage etc.. not something parents would digest well or get used to.
Reply 116
This is like Eastender's on monday.
Reply 117
Original post by cssafc
This is like Eastender's on monday.


I forgot what happend on Monday.. ?
Reply 118
Original post by I-love-life
Hey as u can see from my previous thread (http://www.thestudentroom.co.uk/showthread.php?t=1479372) my dad asked me to break up with my bf today and I did.. I called him this morning, my dad was in my room while i called him,
My bf: hey u ok?
Me: couldn’t stop crying and told him i need to see him today
My bf: babe is everything ok? Why u crying?
Me: can’t explain now but u need to come over to mine today, my dad wants us to break up, u need to come to my house now.
My bf: what!!! Why, we haven’t done anything wrong
(this whole convo was on loud speaker)
My dad shouts: u haven’t done anything wrong??? :angry: can u do as your told and get here now.
My bf: hello uncle, yes I will come over right now.
So this was at 7 in the morning today, my bf didn’t go coll and came to my house around 8.
He got here and sat in my living room waiting for my dad. My dad came in and the second he saw my bf, he went crazy, whyyy?? Becuase he knows my bf but he never taught that anything was going on between us, he thought that he was best mate and was lyk a bro to me,.
My dad sat down and my bf said: hello uncle,
My dad: don’t fcking call me ur uncle, u basterd, i trusted u, i loved u lyk my own son and u go and this behind my back.
My bf: I’m very sorry, we are both very sorry but the only reason we lied to u and aunty was because we knew u would be against this relationship
My dad: i don’t want to hear anything, I want you two to end it now and never speak to each other again..
I was crying the whole time
My bf: I’m very sorry for speaking but we really do love each other, why don’t u wana hear us out, what me and (my name) have is more than a crash. I am very proud to say that i love your daughter and I will do anything to be with her,
My dad: are u going to shut up or do i need to kick u out. Lyk i said no more talking., I want u to leave now,
My bf: can u just explain to us, why we need to end it? I want to marry ur daughter when I finish my degree, I understand me and (my name) have done things in the past against your wish, culture and religion. And we are very sorry and I am very sorry if I have been a bad influence to ur daughter in any way, but now we are both grown ups, love each other and want to have a future together, If u let me I want to ask for ur daughter’s hand right here right now?
My dad: hahahaha u think u can ask for her hand and I will hand her over to u? U must think im stupid? Get out of my house, and don’t ever come around.
I was so shocked, couldn’t believe my bf just asked my dad that, I was crying so much, couldn’t even speak, I wanted to go and give him a hug, can’t believe he just officially asked my dad if he i can marry him :O
Anyway my bf looked at me and his eyes were filled my tears, he couldn’t even hug or kiss me good bye, my dad is so heartless, even my mum had tears in her eyes. I really do love my bf, i never actually thought that he loved me this much and tried to talk to my dad, my dad was very angry, so angry that even my mum didn’t have the guts to talk to him to this morning. I stil can’t stop crying, I didn’t sleep all last night, and can’t stop thinking about my bf, it is officially over now :frown: my dad told my mum: tell her to forget this guy, nothing will ever happen between them, unless im dead and she can go and do whatever she wants. I will never let her be with this guy, because they have both lied to me and broken my trust, tell her the sooner she gets over him the better for all of us, he even said Im sure that basterd is with another girl right now!!! How can he say this :frown: im so upset, my mum can’t even help me out, I was begging her to try and persuade my dad somehow And let me at least do nikah (Islamic marriage) with my bf, if this is the only way we can be 2gether but he said NEVER!!! She has to choose me or him!! I don’t know what to do?


MY BF IS NOT MY CUZ< HE ONLY CALLS MY DAD UNCLE TO SHOW HE RESPECTS HIM, IT's A MUSLIM/ASIAN/ME THING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!




If this is not a troll then i would suggest leaving home and moving in with your bf if possible, it's your life not your dads, if he really loves and cares for you then he will forgive you.
If you're a muslim then perhaps drinking is not for the best unless it's what you really want, clubbing shouldn't be an issue though. My muslim friend comes clubbing with us all the time, he just doesn't drink.
The fact that this boy is willing to marry you proves that moving out would be the right solution, he is clearly worth the hassle.
Original post by avéry
Thanks for the spelling lesson. :tongue:


Welcome. :biggrin:

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