Need advice - Gay/Bi Asian Muslim

I think you should wait until uni when you can make different friends and they wont judge you negatively for being gay. Also, it would be good if you took some time away from your family it seems like, so uni would also be the perfect place for it.

Ask Allah for 4gveness and your soul will be purified. Bet it feels aweful 2 be in your position.

Right, if you are going to post either personal attacks, then don't bother. Basically, I need some advice.

I'm currently 17 - I'm of Southern Asian ethnicity and a Muslim. I follow my religion and I am vaguely aware of what my religion says about homosexuality. Now...I never chose to be gay, I know being homosexual is in my nature. I realised this several years ago when I started getting turned on by boys around me and stuff, girls never used to rarely turn me on. This leads me onto whether I am bisexual or not.

Now, I really want to get this off my chest. But I can't. Outing my self to my parents is 100% not viable. I'd be disowned, thrown out, probarbly shipped off to Asia to get married etc etc, you know the drill. The majority of my friends are also young Asian Muslim males - most of which see homosexuality in a very negative way. I have practically no friends that I could trust with this. I feel like I am living a secret life and it's a daily pressure, I feel like I can't express myself and have to be somebody I am not.

I'm not turned on by older males but Asian males of a similar age to me, which feels wrong - especially as some are my friends. I could never tell them because they'd probarbly kill me or whatever. But I'm not even sure if I am gay. If I see really hot girls, I do not get aroused but idk...

I am thinking of waiting till I start uni then perhaps come out of my shell. Don't get me wrong, I'm not intending on become an in-yer-face homo...

Urgh, this is killing me, I've even contemplated suicide because I feel either way, I can't be myself. What should I do?

I think you should wait until uni when you can make different friends and they wont judge you negatively for being gay. Also, it would be good if you took some time away from your family it seems like, so uni would also be the perfect place for it.

This, this, and this again. Most definitely. Choose life, not what religion tells you to do.
Religions, pah. Life's already a mess without them, we don't need them for sure.

I think it would be a much better idea for you to wait until university to come out.

Ask Allah for 4gveness and your soul will be purified. Bet it feels aweful 2 be in your position.

and I know you're extremely religious but I'd take some time out of your religion and think about what you believe currently at the moment. don't follow religion blindly as an answer to anything and think about YOURSELF first and how you feel, how you want to approach life and don't make any rash decisions.
I can assure you that what you're going through now is the worst and when you look back you'll feel a lot better.

Well you've got two choices...
are you actually Muslim?
If you believe your religion truly then you're only choice is to be celibate isn't it, avoiding what would be seen as sin.

If you don't then do what you like! Go to gay clubs or whatever. You probably aren't bi though, or you'd be happy to date girls...

In Islam it is not a sin to be of a homosexual orientation. It is considered your struggle (your 'jihad' if you will). However acting on these urges is a sin.

Of course you sound like a secular Muslim and so I suggest you seriously consider why you are a Muslim? i.e how do you know it is the absolute truth? If you don't know the answer to those questions, then why are you restricting your life on the one part of it you want to express? I wouldn't recommend coming out to your parents, if they won't be understanding because there is no benefit to you or them. I wouldn't 'come out' to your friends either as they sound like some ignorant 'brothers' who will simply see you as something filthy and not someone who is struggling with his faith. However, I would attend those LGBT meeting and events as these are places where you can safely express feelings and explore your sexuality.

Forgiveness? For... being born a certain way? Please.
Exactly
OP, you are probably gay. But don't worry. It's normal to feel confused, but if you're turned on by guys and not girls, you are gay.
Yeah, thought so...lol

You don't have to worry too much, I mean, I know its hard and you probably want to get on with making relationships and being open with people. However if this is not viable (as you said) unless you find someone either; in a similar position or understanding enough to be cool with it.


I definitely support the idea of coming out at uni, well... not coming out. But just being you. I'd advise moving a bit further to uni, just to separate this private part of you and the family part of you. It's sad your parents wouldnt understand, but it's life. You just have to keep that part of you secret, from them. It's not the end of the world though, as long as you can keep it up for the period from now until uni, you'll be fine.

Uni is brilliant for finding people who're like minded and understanding. So you won't be judged. Hang in there OP!!!

You're not Muslim.

Well, this is a messy situation. As someone has said don't come out yet and wait till university - this is actually a really sound advice in my opinion.

As an Asian Muslim myself, I can empathise with your situation and possibly predict what your family reaction would be. Don't tell your friends if you think you can't really trust them.

Don't think of committing suicide. It's just not worth finishing your life like that when you can possibly find a solution.

And you can PM me if you want. I'm not one of those 'typical' Muslims, so I won't tell you that you will go to Hell for being homosexual....

Did a random anonymous user quote me to insult me, but his post was deleted? I got a notification that an Anonymous quoted me, it would be quite sad if he was some hater who thought he was carrying Jihad to this thread. Quite sad indeed.

I know. Apparently I've been quoted by some Anonymous , but his post is not here.

The best thing to do in such cases is: SHRUGGING.

You know, you are the living proof thar religion itself is not a problem. It's how people interpret it and act shamefully in its name that is bad.

The best thing to do in such cases is: SHRUGGING.

You know, you are the living proof thar religion itself is not a problem. It's how people interpret it and act shamefully in its name that is bad.

wat is this supposed 2 mean

Honestly, just wait. I know it may suck in the meantime but in the long term it's the best thing to do. You're gonna have to tell your parents at some point, but it's far better to do it when you're not living with them, and in terms of friends, you can make friends at uni with people who don't have an issue with it.

Allah's got nothing to forgive him.