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been on and off for ages

my girlfriend overeacts
(edited 13 years ago)
Reply 1
depends wether or not she cares. by the sounds of it shes angry at the moment. i doubt youll be able to be friends.
Reply 2
Original post by Alvrae
depends wether or not she cares. by the sounds of it shes angry at the moment. i doubt youll be able to be friends.


i dont want to be friends
(edited 13 years ago)
Reply 3
bump
Reply 4
well if she is as you say, a responce will ne narsasistic at best. i think its better to let her deal with it. is she asks then tell her but i would think its safe to assume she knows you remember most of the relationship you are party to.

you can't judge a present relationship on the past. after all you live in the now.
Reply 5
Original post by Alvrae
well if she is as you say, a responce will ne narsasistic at best. i think its better to let her deal with it. is she asks then tell her but i would think its safe to assume she knows you remember most of the relationship you are party to.

you can't judge a present relationship on the past. after all you live in the now.


a response from her would be narcasistic? im confused?

so dont message her or anything now? and she might or might not message me?
Original post by jibba128
my girlfriend overeacts a lot and speaks down to me and causes a scene when she is angry, then the other day she started acting blunt with me and avoided seeing me

the lack of respect has been going on for a long time now and weve split up and got back together more times than i can imagine, i finally called it off the other day

i sent a long text (could never see her to tell her because after the second sentence she would get all defensive and id never get to say everything i wanted to say)

but i said i want her out my life for good and i explained she has become too aggressive and has no respect for me whatsoever, i said i know she is sensitive and caring deep down but has not shown it lately

i feel very guilty about this message now because i didnt say about me missing the good times we had and i cant contact her at all now because she didnt reply and blocked me off facebook and ive deleted her number :/ and weve been together 1 year and 3/4

whats the chances she will text me within the next week considering i said i want her out of my life?


Why would you want her to text you?

You just said you want her out of your life.

You've done the deed now move on.
Original post by Studentus-anonymous
Why would you want her to text you?

You just said you want her out of your life.

You've done the deed now move on.


i dont know i guess i feel guilty and maybe i was emotionally cold with her and its hurting bad right now, i was never meant to be emotionally cold though, just the lack of respect made me think whats the point
Reply 8
Original post by jibba128
a response from her would be narcasistic? im confused?

so dont message her or anything now? and she might or might not message me?


basically give her a week to think things through
Reply 9
to be honest, i know its difficult but you need space to get over her, and not being able to contact her is probably the best way. if she texts you, dont reply, if she rings you, dont answer, because by the sounds of it you have got together again loads of times and been back in a bad situation because you have not been strong enough about this.
Reply 10
Original post by Alvrae
basically give her a week to think things through


and then message her saying, i will remember the good times or something?

Original post by joebro
to be honest, i know its difficult but you need space to get over her, and not being able to contact her is probably the best way. if she texts you, dont reply, if she rings you, dont answer, because by the sounds of it you have got together again loads of times and been back in a bad situation because you have not been strong enough about this.


i know brah its really hard, the thing is our relationship used to be great, i dont know where it took a downfall
Reply 11
Original post by jibba128
i know brah its really hard, the thing is our relationship used to be great, i dont know where it took a downfall


if its not great any more, its not making either of you happy and you should probs stop it for good. sorry bro, its gotta be like that though :frown:
Reply 12
Original post by jibba128
and then message her saying, i will remember the good times or something?


well yes, if you want to give her hope that she could get back with you :smile:
Original post by Anonymous
i dont know i guess i feel guilty and maybe i was emotionally cold with her and its hurting bad right now, i was never meant to be emotionally cold though, just the lack of respect made me think what's the point


Yeah but her behaviour/treatment of you has been significantly less than acceptable for a happy relationship.

Negligence is legitimate grounds for a split any day.

You being a bit 'cold' if you think that is what it is not the problem, it is part of the solution.

What you are being is determined. Determined to make a fresh start and a clean break. She has had plenty of chances (the on and off again nature of the relationship) to alter her behaviour.


I have had a similar break-up and while in my own mind I wavered and was a little hurt, I knew that being 'cold' was the right thing.

My ex in that relationship begged to get back together, to forgive her, and so on, and while I had no intention of being mean or cruel on the outside I had to be firm and appear to be totally and completely convinced. For myself so that I would accept it was over and believe it, and for her, so that she didn't have false hope for a hopeless relationship in which I couldn't trust she would really change.


You have been more than fair and you explained yourself fully to her.

Now unless you're more than 97-8% convinced she can actually change or the relationship has a chance, save both of you the grief and stick to your guns and move on.

Its your life and your relationship so ultimately do what you think/feel you should do, but in my mind it is better to be happier single than miserable together.


Best of luck OP. :smile:
Reply 14
Original post by Studentus-anonymous
Yeah but her behaviour/treatment of you has been significantly less than acceptable for a happy relationship.

Negligence is legitimate grounds for a split any day.

You being a bit 'cold' if you think that is what it is not the problem, it is part of the solution.

What you are being is determined. Determined to make a fresh start and a clean break. She has had plenty of chances (the on and off again nature of the relationship) to alter her behaviour.


I have had a similar break-up and while in my own mind I wavered and was a little hurt, I knew that being 'cold' was the right thing.

My ex in that relationship begged to get back together, to forgive her, and so on, and while I had no intention of being mean or cruel on the outside I had to be firm and appear to be totally and completely convinced. For myself so that I would accept it was over and believe it, and for her, so that she didn't have false hope for a hopeless relationship in which I couldn't trust she would really change.


You have been more than fair and you explained yourself fully to her.

Now unless you're more than 97-8% convinced she can actually change or the relationship has a chance, save both of you the grief and stick to your guns and move on.

Its your life and your relationship so ultimately do what you think/feel you should do, but in my mind it is better to be happier single than miserable together.


Best of luck OP. :smile:


i just feel like maybe she didnt think i cared or something because i picked faults often
(edited 13 years ago)
Original post by jibba128
i just feel like maybe she didnt think i cared or something because i picked faults often

how long after splitting did your ex beg for you back?

my message i sent her was not really nice in any way


She stalked me for a few years, lol.

Thing is, your ex hopefully will one day be able to have a civil conversation with you, and you will be able to have one back, after you have given yourself time to come to terms with it and get over her.

That is when you can say "hey listen, I didn't mean to be so harsh" and so on.


Again, your situation, if you need to impress upon her that you didn't mean to be so blunt or whatever, that is your decision, but with an on & off again sort of relationship under the circumstances you have provided, sometimes you just have to accept that things cannot be ended on rosey civilized grounds.

A split usually means someone is going to be hurting regardless.

Again, best of luck, I'm all out of wisdom and you'll know best how to deal with it.
Reply 16
Original post by Studentus-anonymous
She stalked me for a few years, lol.

Thing is, your ex hopefully will one day be able to have a civil conversation with you, and you will be able to have one back, after you have given yourself time to come to terms with it and get over her.

That is when you can say "hey listen, I didn't mean to be so harsh" and so on.


Again, your situation, if you need to impress upon her that you didn't mean to be so blunt or whatever, that is your decision, but with an on & off again sort of relationship under the circumstances you have provided, sometimes you just have to accept that things cannot be ended on rosey civilized grounds.

A split usually means someone is going to be hurting regardless.

Again, best of luck, I'm all out of wisdom and you'll know best how to deal with it.


lol thanks bro, how long after you broke up with her did she contact you by the way?, its been like 5 days for me now and no nothing off her
Reply 17
bump guys, dont know whether to let her know ill miss the good times etc or just leave it as it is? which will be more likely to make her want to text me>
bump guys

should he message her saying he still does care for her but cant be with her for the reasons he has already said

so as to ending on a better note

which route will make her want him back more?

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