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Got rejected, still feeling crap about it

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Reply 40
There are two ways you can aim at making her show interest or at least realizing how she feels, if she does at all.

You can pull the personal one and actually go see her, I wouldn't even suggest organizing it TOO much just generalize a location and meet her..stay around a little bit and then bring in the outburst. Note: Requires confidence and some acting skill - not even necessary if you really feel this way.

As in,

"I can't do this. I lied about seeing that other girl to see how you felt ((even though you didn't.)), but I guess.. I didn't know what I was trying to do. I can't just see you as friends, so I'm going to ask again for..the last time. Will you go out with me?"

OR

You can pull a date - ON YOUR BIRTHDAY - and send her a text, or better - Call her! It gives her less time to consider her answer and puts her on the spot! And ask her to come out with you. Don't say anything about it till she meets you. Take her hands and face her to you and then say, "So..it is my birthday..I was going to have a party but..I'd much rather spend it with you." Watch her heart melt and then if she doesn't lean in for a kiss, hug her yourself long and tenderly and kiss her on the cheek. Wait for that to develop, won't take long.

The above one worked for me.
Reply 41
Ive done what she did before, but I had my own reason, I didnt want to get involved in a relationship that time. But we were still attracted to each other, he didnt ask me out again, and I had to much pride to do so since I rejected him at the 1st place. She'll show interest, hopefully ask you out.
Original post by Anonymous
lol

Even if dont get the girl, this thread is entertaining. Thanks people.


i'm proud of you! always looking at the positive side of life :biggrin:
Reply 43
Original post by Raventu
There are two ways you can aim at making her show interest or at least realizing how she feels, if she does at all.

You can pull the personal one and actually go see her, I wouldn't even suggest organizing it TOO much just generalize a location and meet her..stay around a little bit and then bring in the outburst. Note: Requires confidence and some acting skill - not even necessary if you really feel this way.

As in,

"I can't do this. I lied about seeing that other girl to see how you felt ((even though you didn't.)), but I guess.. I didn't know what I was trying to do. I can't just see you as friends, so I'm going to ask again for..the last time. Will you go out with me?"

OR

You can pull a date - ON YOUR BIRTHDAY - and send her a text, or better - Call her! It gives her less time to consider her answer and puts her on the spot! And ask her to come out with you. Don't say anything about it till she meets you. Take her hands and face her to you and then say, "So..it is my birthday..I was going to have a party but..I'd much rather spend it with you." Watch her heart melt and then if she doesn't lean in for a kiss, hug her yourself long and tenderly and kiss her on the cheek. Wait for that to develop, won't take long.

The above one worked for me.


awww Id definitely fall for that:love:
Reply 44
Original post by Raventu
... Take her hands and face her to you and then say, "So..it is my birthday..I was going to have a party but..I'd much rather spend it with you." Watch her heart melt and then if she doesn't lean in for a kiss, hug her yourself long and tenderly and kiss her on the cheek. Wait for that to develop, won't take long.

The above one worked for me.


Are you joking? Or are you American. If some guy did this to me I'd ask him what crap he was watching on TV and tell him to man up...

OP - I have a revolutionary idea. Why don't you ask this girl straight-up what she wants from you, and tell her genuinely what you want from her. Cheese and stolen John Cusack lines aside.
Reply 45
Original post by jb9191


GROWL!
Reply 46
Original post by awe
Are you joking? Or are you American. If some guy did this to me I'd ask him what crap he was watching on TV and tell him to man up...

OP - I have a revolutionary idea. Why don't you ask this girl straight-up what she wants from you, and tell her genuinely what you want from her. Cheese and stolen John Cusack lines aside.


I'm British. There is no stereotype girl remember. I gave him an example, if he cannot fit that to her personality then it won't work. As you say, it wouldn't work on you. But that's you. And I'm not trying to get him with you, am I?
Reply 47
Original post by Raventu


You can pull a date - ON YOUR BIRTHDAY - and send her a text, or better - Call her! It gives her less time to consider her answer and puts her on the spot! And ask her to come out with you. Don't say anything about it till she meets you. Take her hands and face her to you and then say, "So..it is my birthday..I was going to have a party but..I'd much rather spend it with you." Watch her heart melt and then if she doesn't lean in for a kiss, hug her yourself long and tenderly and kiss her on the cheek. Wait for that to develop, won't take long.

The above one worked for me.


And what if it backfires?

I will end up having a **** birthday.

Not worth the risk imo.
Reply 48
Original post by Raventu
I'm British. There is no stereotype girl remember. I gave him an example, if he cannot fit that to her personality then it won't work. As you say, it wouldn't work on you. But that's you. And I'm not trying to get him with you, am I?


Ooh, we should do TSR matchmakers.

But yeah, I exaggerated. (: I still cannot imagine anyone actually falling for that though. Unless they're not sober, in which case all a guy would need to say is 'it's my birthday' and most girls would be giving him presents of an intimate nature.
Reply 49
Dating is a numbers game.

But seriously I find this really annoying, you meet a really great guy that you have loads in common with (don't know about you guys but still) but don't fancy, and then after three times you meet them they get horny. Is she really giving you a 'wibe'? Were these classified clearly as dates? I get your point if you did indeed ask her out on a _date_ and there was flirting and such, obvious to go for it, but if it was more casual then that then try and keep it in your pants man.
Reply 50
Original post by awe
Are you joking? Or are you American. If some guy did this to me I'd ask him what crap he was watching on TV and tell him to man up...

OP - I have a revolutionary idea. Why don't you ask this girl straight-up what she wants from you, and tell her genuinely what you want from her. Cheese and stolen John Cusack lines aside.


yeah idea was to arrange a meet up and tell her that we can still have fun, no strings attached.

I already told her in my text that I wasn't looking for a r/ship anyway, will probably try and kiss her again if we meet up, like having options, and seeing other girls, so she should get the hint.

She still wants to hang out with me, was a bit surprised cos she knows when I say things, I mean them.

Failing that, I may need to become a bit more explicit. But yeah, dont think I should go out of my way for her. If she is truely interested she will at least arrange a meet up right?
Reply 51
Original post by Anonymous
And what if it backfires?

I will end up having a **** birthday.

Not worth the risk imo.


Relationships do require risks however. Is your birthday more important than her? If it is, then you aren't as attracted to her as you're making out. If you know her well enough, you should know whether a line like that would work on her. If it won't you'll have to pull another strategy from the book, there are so many. And as most people still say, confidence is important. If you can assure her that what you are saying is true with your body language, concentration and how you're standing in terms of her - Like I said, when you next ask her, you don't want to do it by text, you want to do it whilst she's holding your hand, or hugging you. Because that way she has to think of what she'll be missing if you pull away and leave it.

Again, stressed once more, if you're attracted to her as you say, SHOW it when you meet and SHOW her why. Still, take note of the fine line between attraction and desperation. Don't do that one.

Stick with wants, not needs.
Reply 52
Original post by mtoo
Dating is a numbers game.

But seriously I find this really annoying, you meet a really great guy that you have loads in common with (don't know about you guys but still) but don't fancy, and then after three times you meet them they get horny. Is she really giving you a 'wibe'? Were these classified clearly as dates? I get your point if you did indeed ask her out on a _date_ and there was flirting and such, obvious to go for it, but if it was more casual then that then try and keep it in your pants man.


First date:

Went for dinner together.

second date:

Went to the movies together.

third date:

Went dancing together. Had dinner afterwards.

Plus, I would flirt with her so much, "hey beautiful", "hey sweetie", "I like your dress, you look so sexy in it tonight" etc etc. (I still flirt with her now) last text.

"yeah sure sweetie, lets see each other soon. Will be fun as usual....Though I can't promise that I wont try and kiss you! :wink:"

...All in vain.

*facepalm*
Reply 53
Original post by Anonymous
First date:

Went for dinner together.

second date:

Went to the movies together.

third date:

Went dancing together. Had dinner afterwards.

Plus, I would flirt with her so much, "hey beautiful", "hey sweetie", "I like your dress, you look so sexy in it tonight" etc etc. (I still flirt with her now) last text.

"yeah sure sweetie, lets see each other soon. Will be fun as usual....Though I can't promise that I wont try and kiss you! :wink:"

...All in vain.

*facepalm*


Exactly, I'm just saying that did she do the same? I have loads of friends who call me that and TBH it's usually the guys that I do go out with on dates that are less affectionate especially (doing the whole complimenting/pet names thing) in the beginning.
I reckon she likes attention. Keep it up with the second gal and the first one will jump you soon enough.
Original post by Anonymous
Long story short, took a girl I know on 3 dates, decided to make a move on the final date, she told me she wasnt ready to get into a relationship with me but told me I was a really awesome guy. I asked her if the problem was me, she told me it wasn't and not to take it personally.

But yeah, still really bugging me.

Since then I have been ignoring her, we texted each other a bit, and I basically told her not to worry about it, how I wasnt ready for a r/ship either and wanted to keep my options open. Anyway, I told her about a girl I was going to hang out with the next day, she then suggested we hang out with one another. I basically told her that I would love to, but I would probably try and kiss her again. She called me cheeky and was cool with hanging out anyway as its my birthday soon.

(She seems to be facebook stalking me a bit, like she knows who my friends are on there, when my bday is and all that stuff)

But yeah, the rejection is still stinging me, lost a bit of confidence due to it. And I am finding it pretty tough to pick myself back up. I am popular, have a lot going for me, and we have had amazing times together, yet despite all of that she rejected my advances. But to protect myself I am ignoring her, cos I know I Am attracted, so if I spend time with her, it would be frustrating if I can't kiss her.


Theres probably three reasons you got rejected.

1. You waited too long and it staled out. so you guys might have been flirting or watever but if you stay in one phase for too long you get a stalemate kind of thing.

2. You went from nothing to a kiss. so you probly didn't touch her her that much. so it went from no touching to a kiss which is a big step and doesn't really work.


3. she is playing hard to get, which is fine. take two steps and go forward again and you should close the deal.


We've all been in your position man and to be honest its much more endeering when a girl has enough self respect to reject you.

Good Luck :smile:
Reply 56
Original post by mtoo
Exactly, I'm just saying that did she do the same? I have loads of friends who call me that and TBH it's usually the guys that I do go out with on dates that are less affectionate especially (doing the whole complimenting/pet names thing) in the beginning.


Aside from calling me awesome, smart, sophisticated, and complimenting me in a million other ways. No, nothing directly flirty. More like subtle ****. Like when i made that comment about kissing her, she replied straight after, "well I remember its your birthday soon. Sure we will see each other soon. Keep in touch :wink:"

Always, very keen to see me. Like a couple of weeks back, we arranged to meet up, I decided to cancel on her after she texted to see if I was still up for it.

Still, it can all be female mind games mtoo. I try not to read into it too much, cos it will drive me nuts tbh.
Reply 57
Original post by Oh my Ms. Coffey
I love your posts :love:

Thank you xxxx
This girl obviously doesn't fancy you, but she does like the attention and she is using you a bit by keeping you interested.

When girls fancy a guy they don't turn down his advances, girls are only able to play these type of games where they control the situation, if its a guy they don't really fancy....when they fancy him they are too nervous wondering if he does/doesn't like them, to be able to control the situation.

As for her saying that you are 'inspiring' after a few dates, that should ring warning bells that this girl is full of bull, I mean who says that!

I would just back off and write her out of your life now, don't be constantly texting/using other forms of e-communication with her, it's a waste of your time.
Reply 59
xx
(edited 12 years ago)

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