How do i stop being a ridiculously clingy friend?

please keep anon. I feel pathetic....

so something i've realised lately is that through pretty much my whole life, i've always been ridiculously clingy with friends.
What normally happens is i make a friend, and we become really good friends, then they find other best friends and i get ridiculously depressed.
I know this makes me come across as a possessive cow, and it's true, but i really want to change this in time for sixth-form, because i really want to accept this happens in life, instead of dwelling on it :frown:

the worst thing is the new friends are always saying what funny things they've done together, which makes me feel terrible.
PLEASE can someone help me. I don't want to be this kind of person for the rest of my life...
please ask any questions, if i've left anything out.

sorry but

Original post by FattyInNeed

sorry but

i know it sounds really stupid, but i always get stupidly depressed, just because a freind's found another friend.
i know, it is a little weird...which is why its anon.

Reply 3

Charlottttte.X

Let them come and talk to you rather than the other way round.
That way you know you're not becoming a nuisance :3

Reply 4

libbyb

I think that if you are still only at school, you have a lot yet to learn.

Most people go through phases of jealousy. It is normal. And it is very common to have really good friends, but those friends might not see you as the same kind of friend.

My advice is to make sure that you don't limit your social groups. Variety is always good. And when you realise that you are behaving selfishly, you can start to overcome it.

Just because your friends make new friends, some which you might not know, it isn't to say that you cannot have the same with other people.

You cannot expect to change who you are. You just need to change the view you take about situations with arise.

As I said, you are still young, and these experiences you have now will be the basis of what you define friendship as and who you consider a friend. What you are experiencing isn't unusual but you shouldn't be feeling possesive.

At the end of the day, there is no limit to how many friends someone can have, and there is nothing to say that you cannot have the same. But you have to deal with these situations in a more mature, realistic way. Noticing it is the first step!

Reply 5

Anonymous #1

please, it's really worrying me..

Reply 6

Bella Occhi

You sound like one of my sister's friends :holmes:

Talk to your friends and let them know you don't mean to be clingy? Try inviting everyone out together for a meal/do something etc :biggrin:

Reply 7

oh-sugarrr

So is it jealousy or? Hmm I do kind of get you, but you know what, life goes on, people come and go, that's why I never call anyone my best friend, or let them get too close, because all they do is use you! Don't know what else to say really.

Reply 8

Andrejispanickin

You don't need friends, buy world of warcraft.

Reply 9

Linweth

Original post by Andrejispanickin

You don't need friends, buy world of warcraft.

She wants to have a life....

Reply 10

Andrejispanickin

Original post by Linweth

She wants to have a life....

That's funny because i've never seen a dead person playing World of Warcraft.

Reply 11

Linweth

Original post by Andrejispanickin

That's funny because i've never seen a dead person playing World of Warcraft.

Do you ever see them at all?

Reply 12

The-Real-One

Original post by Anonymous

Don't cling on.

Cling off!

Reply 13

Mutsu

It sounds like you have nonexistent self confidence. I suggest picking up some new hobbies that will build up your confidence more - I think the root of your problems are just insecurity. If you get more confident, you'll meet more people and be less worried about them branching out to other people. Confident people are generally more fun to be around too.

Reply 14

You_Missed_a_Bit

Can I ask how old you are?

I went through a couple of social groups at high school, thought we were best friends, turned out we weren't. Not just their fault though, I didn't understand what true friendship was.
Once I got to college however, I met two people (a girl and a guy) and they truly are my best friends, they are more like family to me.

I guess what I'm trying to say is, it doesn't sound like you are that necessarily clingy you just want a true friend. One that will actually last. At the end of the day friendship is a relationship between two people. And you will find one, they are many stones you might have to go through before you pick up the rare diamonds :smile:

Reply 15

Anonymous #1

Original post by You_Missed_a_Bit

i'm 15. I'm going into sixth-form next year which is why i wanted to change in time for meeting other people.

thank you for the help by the way. i appreciate it.

Reply 16

Anonymous #2

It's one thing to be clingy, and it's a another to feel like your friends aren't valuing your friendship - in your case it sounds like a bit of both maybe? Try backing off a bit to see if they really are drifting away from you or if you're just being paranoid and imagining it. Just because they have other friends doesnt mean they aren't just as good friends with you anymore.

Also, you're only 15... Whether it's really just you being clingy, or your friends not being good friends and leaving you for other friends, it all just boils down to levels of maturity. Trust me, I used to be just like you, and as an 18 year old I can tell you that a lot changes in a few years, you just need to wait a bit :smile: