Question to girls - How much do looks in guys matter?
I made a similar thread but my title was a bit confusing, so my question to girls, how much do you care about a guys looks?
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A lot.
you should be aware that girls all live in idealist worlds. they want the tallest, most handsome, most confident, most popular, most famous, nicest, most dominant, richest guy imaginable. and they fantasise about celebrities constantly.
their realities come crashing down on them in their mid-twenties when they realise that they're forced into going for normal guys and not this pathetic little ideal man they yearned to meet and marry.
their realities come crashing down on them in their mid-twenties when they realise that they're forced into going for normal guys and not this pathetic little ideal man they yearned to meet and marry.
Very.
50/50.
Decent Looks + Decent Personality
50/50.
Decent Looks + Decent Personality
(edited 13 years ago)
I'd love to be able to sit here and sound like a great person, who isn't shallow and for whom looks are no issue and it's all based on personality...
....but for me personally, that would be a blatant lie. Attraction is important, very important. I'm not saying I expect perfection, lord knows I'm far from. But I think it would be foolish and naive to assume they dont have some importance obviously in conjunction with other factors, but it forms a big part of it.....whether we want to admit it or not.
....but for me personally, that would be a blatant lie. Attraction is important, very important. I'm not saying I expect perfection, lord knows I'm far from. But I think it would be foolish and naive to assume they dont have some importance obviously in conjunction with other factors, but it forms a big part of it.....whether we want to admit it or not.
Original post by Miss_Scarlett
I'd love to be able to sit here and sound like a great person, who isn't shallow and for whom looks are no issue and it's all based on personality...
....but for me personally, that would be a blatant lie. Attraction is important, very important. I'm not saying I expect perfection, lord knows I'm far from. But I think it would be foolish and naive to assume they dont have some importance obviously in conjunction with other factors, but it forms a big part of it.....whether we want to admit it or not.
....but for me personally, that would be a blatant lie. Attraction is important, very important. I'm not saying I expect perfection, lord knows I'm far from. But I think it would be foolish and naive to assume they dont have some importance obviously in conjunction with other factors, but it forms a big part of it.....whether we want to admit it or not.
This borders on being nonsensical. You're saying that attraction should just be based on personality and not on looks but in reality it is based on attraction. The problem, of course, is that attraction includes personality and looks, and thus your distinction is nonsensical.
Original post by tomheppy
This borders on being nonsensical. You're saying that attraction should just be based on personality and not on looks but in reality it is based on attraction. The problem, of course, is that attraction includes personality and looks, and thus your distinction is nonsensical.
The distinction is not nonsensical, because when you see someone for the first time and think "Wow they're attractive", you can't know their personality and your compatibility if you don't know them already.
The point I am trying to make is, (and perhaps i didn't articulate it particularly wonderfully, but i think that can be forgiven at 5.46am and given I have been studying Neurology since approximately 7.30 last night) .....that there are negative connotations with saying "Yes, I find looks very important" because it is perceived as shallow, but in the first instance most of us do think like that...because it's human nature, when we are talking about the "beginning stages", if you will.
Edit: The point is, I find it annoying when people say "oh it's not important at all yada yada yada" because tbh I don't see how that can be the truth. OF COURSE the personality has to be great and compatible no one wants to spend time with someone who isnt on the same wavelength and has similiar humour, Im not denying that at all...just to be clear.
(edited 13 years ago)
A lot. Anyone that claims otherwise is most likely a liar. Humans are fundamentally shallow beings, plain and simple.
I'm not a girl, but felt compelled to reply here because everyone is talking a bunch of bull**** in this thread.
The truth is, looks don't matter that much in a guy. Women don't want you to know this, nor will they admit it, but it really is true. Men are attracted to women visually (at least initially), but for women they are attracted more to a guy's personality and his status and confidence.
Men are attracted through the eyes, women are attracted through the ears.
Don't believe me? History is littered with examples of men who were notoriously ugly yet did phenomenally well with women. For example, Voltaire, Jean Paul Satre, Casanova, David X...they were/are notoriously ugly, yet women fell for them because of their personalities and because they knew what women universally responded to. They were not 'celebrities' or anything...so it wasn't their fame women fell for, nor was it their looks!
The bottom line is: women are attracted to men who are ATTRACTIVE, not merely men who are good looking. Being attractive is more than just looks.
Have you ever heard the term 'sexy ugly'? This is a term women use to describe men who are not good looking, but who they are attracted to and who they find sexy. Again, this a secret women will never reveal, but it is 100% true.
Don't believe what women SAY about this...pay attention only to what they do. There are examples all around us of ugly guys with hot girls.
A confident guy who is average looking or ugly will do better with women than a guy who has male model type looks but lacks confidence.
Good looks only get a girl's attention in the beginning...but if that guy turns out to lack confidence, lack personality, or isn't manly enough, or can't satisfy the girl sexually or emotioanally, he'll be history. So good looks ultimately mean nothing in the final analysis.
A good sense of style helps, but it's not essential.
So yeah, good looks won't necessarily hurt your cause, but they won't necessarily help your cause either when it comes to being successful with women if you lack confidence and masculinity.
You get women by being a REAL MAN, regardless of your looks. It's a man's inner, intrinsic traits that will determine if a woman is attracted to him or not.
The truth is, looks don't matter that much in a guy. Women don't want you to know this, nor will they admit it, but it really is true. Men are attracted to women visually (at least initially), but for women they are attracted more to a guy's personality and his status and confidence.
Men are attracted through the eyes, women are attracted through the ears.
Don't believe me? History is littered with examples of men who were notoriously ugly yet did phenomenally well with women. For example, Voltaire, Jean Paul Satre, Casanova, David X...they were/are notoriously ugly, yet women fell for them because of their personalities and because they knew what women universally responded to. They were not 'celebrities' or anything...so it wasn't their fame women fell for, nor was it their looks!
The bottom line is: women are attracted to men who are ATTRACTIVE, not merely men who are good looking. Being attractive is more than just looks.
Have you ever heard the term 'sexy ugly'? This is a term women use to describe men who are not good looking, but who they are attracted to and who they find sexy. Again, this a secret women will never reveal, but it is 100% true.
Don't believe what women SAY about this...pay attention only to what they do. There are examples all around us of ugly guys with hot girls.
A confident guy who is average looking or ugly will do better with women than a guy who has male model type looks but lacks confidence.
Good looks only get a girl's attention in the beginning...but if that guy turns out to lack confidence, lack personality, or isn't manly enough, or can't satisfy the girl sexually or emotioanally, he'll be history. So good looks ultimately mean nothing in the final analysis.
A good sense of style helps, but it's not essential.
So yeah, good looks won't necessarily hurt your cause, but they won't necessarily help your cause either when it comes to being successful with women if you lack confidence and masculinity.
You get women by being a REAL MAN, regardless of your looks. It's a man's inner, intrinsic traits that will determine if a woman is attracted to him or not.
(edited 13 years ago)
Looks don't really matter that much, to be honest. What matters in a guy it’s the confidence, the way he handles himself, and the charm. I consider the charm something very very important, it’s what makes him sexy to me. As long as the guy isn’t sickly thin, or horribly fat, or awful looking it doesn’t really matter. I would say more but I think Neil_K got the point across, and really well for that matter.
Original post by Dinouchie
Looks don't really matter that much, to be honest. What matters in a guy it’s the confidence, the way he handles himself, and the charm. I consider the charm something very very important, it’s what makes him sexy to me. As long as the guy isn’t sickly thin, or horribly fat, or awful looking it doesn’t really matter. I would say more but I think Neil_K got the point across, and really well for that matter.
Agree to all of that
If a guy is pointed out to be "ugly," they may be found attractive to someone else. If they have an endearing and charming personality, they appear more attractive; if they're an a**hole, they look less attractive (though in some cases women like this. WTF. :|) But looks are important to the degree that their looks are the first thing we see, and humans by nature are quite judgemental on that basis. But whether someone is ugly or not is purely subjective, and the media preys on it. I'd rather have an unattractive but kind boyfriend than vice versa, personally!
You will one day look back on your question and see how there is no point in asking questions like this.
LOL I knew loads of guys were going to come and whinge about how shallow we are.
Anyway OP, to answer your question - EVERYONE notices looks first. Male or female, being attracted to looks is not exclusive to women. Men know this, yet they continue to have this warped idea that we are out of touch with reality. If anyone is out of touch with reality it's those who have somehow not noticed the fact that there are far more ugly guys with attractive girls than vice versa. Funny that.
Anyway OP, to answer your question - EVERYONE notices looks first. Male or female, being attracted to looks is not exclusive to women. Men know this, yet they continue to have this warped idea that we are out of touch with reality. If anyone is out of touch with reality it's those who have somehow not noticed the fact that there are far more ugly guys with attractive girls than vice versa. Funny that.
(edited 13 years ago)
Original post by CharlieBee_90
LOL I knew loads of guys were going to come and whinge about how shallow we are. Yet there are far more ugly guys with attractive girls than vice versa. Funny that.
(edited 13 years ago)
Looks are the first impression you get of a guy, but they aren't the be all and end all. If a guy is average looking, and has a great personality, that makes up for it. Looks also isn't just about what god gave you, style and presentation is a factor, so if a guy knows how to make the most of what he's got by dressing nicely then that helps a great deal.
Ultimately, if a guy can make me laugh, has a good personality, and isn't a total minger then thats good enough for me!
Ultimately, if a guy can make me laugh, has a good personality, and isn't a total minger then thats good enough for me!
Original post by Hooj
You got some sauce for that?
You could try going outside - or I could just go into town and uni tomorrow and take some pictures for you.
Original post by xfactorfan
you should be aware that girls all live in idealist worlds. they want the tallest, most handsome, most confident, most popular, most famous, nicest, most dominant, richest guy imaginable. and they fantasise about celebrities constantly.
their realities come crashing down on them in their mid-twenties when they realise that they're forced into going for normal guys and not this pathetic little ideal man they yearned to meet and marry.
their realities come crashing down on them in their mid-twenties when they realise that they're forced into going for normal guys and not this pathetic little ideal man they yearned to meet and marry.
A tear fell from my eye when reading this beautifully expressed response.
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