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Like this guy, but don't want anything serious. Advice?

I've been good friends with this guy for a few years now. About a year and a half ago one thing lead to another one night...but nothing happened again afterwards and we just went back to being friends.

Since then I've undergone the worst year of my life and I'm going through a difficult time at the moment - I'm okay one day and an emotional rollercoaster the next; and therefore in no state to be in a relationship.

However, one night when I was feeling down I met my friend and we ended up fooling around again but were also quite couply. I didn't see him again until last night - it got more serious than last time...and he ended up saying he doesn't want to do that anymore - but wants be something more. I just explained I can't do that right now, told him about my emotional rollercoaster and he accepted that. He knows all that anyway because he's been such a good friend in listening and talking to me about things.

I know I'm going to see him again next week so need to decide: should I stop this now and say we should just stay friends? I do really value his friendship but I also like being close to him and the sex is great!
In response to the title : Don't lead him on.
Reply 2
Original post by TheCurlyHairedDude
In response to the title : Don't lead him on.


Well I've made it clear now, and he seems sort of accepting of the fact I don't want something serious and still wants to see me. I don't want to stop seeing him but don't want to hurt him either...
**** buddies!
If he has got feelings for you then don't muck him around if you just want sex, because then you will lose him for good.
Reply 5
Proof in point that guys are not always sex crazed peni with legs :wink:
Reply 6
Original post by Rock Fan
If he has got feelings for you then don't muck him around if you just want sex, because then you will lose him for good.


Yeah, I have feelings for him too but like I said, I'm an emotional rollercoaster right now and it wouldn't be fair to him. It's a case of needing a bit more time to heal, but I'm not expecting him to wait so yeah, pretty rubbish really, but can't string him along now that he's admitted stronger feelings...
Casual shaggage, obvi. Emotions are ridiculously overrated.
Original post by Anonymous
I've been good friends with this guy for a few years now. About a year and a half ago one thing lead to another one night...but nothing happened again afterwards and we just went back to being friends.

Since then I've undergone the worst year of my life and I'm going through a difficult time at the moment - I'm okay one day and an emotional rollercoaster the next; and therefore in no state to be in a relationship.

However, one night when I was feeling down I met my friend and we ended up fooling around again but were also quite couply. I didn't see him again until last night - it got more serious than last time...and he ended up saying he doesn't want to do that anymore - but wants be something more. I just explained I can't do that right now, told him about my emotional rollercoaster and he accepted that. He knows all that anyway because he's been such a good friend in listening and talking to me about things.

I know I'm going to see him again next week so need to decide: should I stop this now and say we should just stay friends? I do really value his friendship but I also like being close to him and the sex is great!


don't lead him on if you don't want a relationship. but your life might take a positive turn if you have a relationship with this guy, your emotional roller-coaster might slow down? just think about the what ifs
Original post by Anonymous
Yeah, I have feelings for him too but like I said, I'm an emotional rollercoaster right now and it wouldn't be fair to him. It's a case of needing a bit more time to heal, but I'm not expecting him to wait so yeah, pretty rubbish really, but can't string him along now that he's admitted stronger feelings...


Then keep it as friends until you are ready for something more.
Reply 10
Original post by Anonymous
Well I've made it clear now, and he seems sort of accepting of the fact I don't want something serious and still wants to see me. I don't want to stop seeing him but don't want to hurt him either...


When you say you’ve made it clear makes me want to ask, does he truly understand?

Often we think things are crystal clear only to find out the other party had a completely different perception of the situation.

Once you’re sure he understands that you consider him as a fwb; then go for it.

Maybe it will work into something more but only time will tell.

Best Wishes

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