The Student Room Group

Housemates, housemates, housemates!

Right, I've got a few housemate issues. I dunno if I want any advice or anything but I need a little rant!

Basically, I live with four other people. Two boys and two girls (I'm a girl too!) and even though we all get along the others seem to have moments when they want to kill each other. I have moments like it too but much less frequently.

A is male. He's very difficult to live with since he's used to having everything done in a particular way and wants to rule the roost. He is very sarcastic and often takes things far too far. He can be extremely manipulative and criticises everything that every one else does. He's very much a small doses person but aggravates everyone! A also seems to have no concept that people have emotions and need to express them in one way or the other. This is mostly where the problem lies. I'm the only person in the house he'll listen to and when I say something to him will usually take it on board.

B is the other male in the house. He's very very easy going and lets little bother him. He's best friends with A and sometimes gets a bit carried away with him. Other than a few loud music issues, there aren't any problems.

C is one of the females in the house. She's diagnosed as having OCD and has good days and bad days. A really winds her up but she gives as good as she gets this year. A doesn't like this because last year she didn't stand up for herself much but this year she's got a lot more self confidence and isn't shy of showing it. She does wind A up too but she knows where to draw the line. Fortunately, she goes home every weekend to work so she does get some breathing space but she's got to the stage now where she hates living in the house and has to force herself to come back up every Sunday night so she can go to uni during the week.

D is my final housemate. I've been friends with her since high school and we're like sisters. This is her first time living away from home since last year she lived at home and commuted (me and her are about an hour away from out home towns). She's extremely tolerant of people but A attempts to wind her up to get a reaction from her. She definitely holds her own against him and doesn't let him bother her.

Fortunately myself, C and D along with our other friend E who lives over the road are not living with A and B for our third year.

Now, I feel as if I'm stuck in the middle. My housemates are fantastic friends and I'd do anything for them but sometimes I feel so frustrated that I can't do anything to make C's time in the house easier. One of the main problems we have is cleaning and smoking. For example, myself and A had fish and chips for dinner last Sunday and we both put our rubbish in the bin. A left a chip on the coffee table in the living room and is point blank refusing to move it on the grounds that because myself and D cleaned the living room today and should have moved it. We argued that because he should have cleaned it up in the first place since it was his rubbish. Nothing more has been said about it and I'll probably move the chip tomorrow to save arguments. It's ridiculously petty I know but that's how childish A actually is.

Smoking is another issue. C's boyfriend's dad has terminal lung and throat cancer from smoking so she's very sensitive on the issue (she's been with her boyfriend for 3 years). We've allowed A and B to smoke in the dining room and in B's bedroom (his space, his rules) providing that they sort the rooms out afterwards. We've had a few discussions with A and B and they have got better but sometimes the smell gets to C and she reacts badly. C's way of dealing with her emotions is to go and have a 5 or 10 minute cry in her bedroom and then she's fine. A's issue with that is that he thinks she's doing it for attention (I've told him that she's not and he's got a lot less critical of it recently).

I really don't know what to do here. I want to make it so that C can feel comfortable in the house and doesn't have to force herself to come back up every weekend. C is one of my best friends at uni and it really upsets me that I can't do anything to help her apart from reassure her and listen to her.

But yes, I am annoyed and pissed off at the moment with them and I feel ridiculously stuck. At the moment, one of D's friends from home has decided to wind up A and B, resulting in C and D sticking together and me being in the middle. Yet again.

So, really stuck with no idea what to do.
...Did you sign up to this as, like, a social experiment? For a tv show or something?
Reply 2
your housemates have really strange names, who calls their kid A? (radioheadlol)

also if you want some real advice there is pretty much nothing you can do keep your head down and ride it out until next year or find yourself new housemates. you can't change their personalities
(edited 13 years ago)
Is this some sort of script for a sitcom?
i agree with the first comment, would make a good TV show, called "flatmates"

no one can stay neutral and remain in the middle for a long time, the time will come when you have to pick sides. chose the side that you get on well with. once you picked the side, let there be war.
Reply 5
Yeah, I'd probably watch this too.
Reply 6
So...when does it air?
Reply 7
Original post by missygeorgia
...Did you sign up to this as, like, a social experiment? For a tv show or something?


Afraid I didn't, if it had been a social experiment I would have completely gone insane by now!
Reply 8
Are you sure you want to live there? 5 different people in one house is a bit crowded for me. It'll be a lot worse, grab C, move out and go living with E. End of Season 1.
Reply 9
Why are you even letting them smoke in the house? If my housemates want to smoke then fine, but they can do it outside so the house doesn't completely stink (bit of a giveaway too if you have inspections). But then we don't have a separate dining room to do it in.

My house was a bit like all this last year too, all I can say is just keep out of each others way as much as you can. One of my housemates I barely spoke to and we mostly spent all our time in our bedrooms unless we were cooking.
Reply 10
Original post by LemonKitty
Why are you even letting them smoke in the house? If my housemates want to smoke then fine, but they can do it outside so the house doesn't completely stink (bit of a giveaway too if you have inspections). But then we don't have a separate dining room to do it in.

My house was a bit like all this last year too, all I can say is just keep out of each others way as much as you can. One of my housemates I barely spoke to and we mostly spent all our time in our bedrooms unless we were cooking.


They asked us if they could smoke in there and we said to them providing that we couldn't tell that they'd been doing it then it'd be fine. B smokes in his room anyway but he sorts the smell out no problem. Apart from the ashtray being left out a few times, we've had no problems with them.

It's so alien to me for a house to be a problem. I lived with C in first year and our house was fine all the time. We had one disagreement in a year and that was sorted out in a matter of minutes xD

I don't want to fall out with any of them, its not in my nature. I'm just feeling a bit overwhelmed by it all at the moment :frown:
Original post by Anonymous
They asked us if they could smoke in there and we said to them providing that we couldn't tell that they'd been doing it then it'd be fine. B smokes in his room anyway but he sorts the smell out no problem. Apart from the ashtray being left out a few times, we've had no problems with them.

It's so alien to me for a house to be a problem. I lived with C in first year and our house was fine all the time. We had one disagreement in a year and that was sorted out in a matter of minutes xD

I don't want to fall out with any of them, its not in my nature. I'm just feeling a bit overwhelmed by it all at the moment :frown:


That's the problem with uni houses, you have to decide who you're living with before you even really know them properly. You just have to remember it's only for a year, and you're nearly halfway through already :smile:
Reply 12
Original post by LemonKitty
That's the problem with uni houses, you have to decide who you're living with before you even really know them properly. You just have to remember it's only for a year, and you're nearly halfway through already :smile:


It's very true. I know D extremely well as we've been friends since Year 7 but with the others I met them on the first day last year and we were all pretty close right away.

I know it's only for a year and am glad that we're halfway through :smile: I've just got a little bit overwhelmed at the moment. I think I'm more irritated at the fact that I went upstairs for an hour and it all started!

E has been fantastic, more for the fact that she said to me when it was all kicking off "The kettle is on, you're stopping at mine tonight". So glad she lives so close :smile:

I do think the month off at Christmas will do us all some good. I'm thinking about going home tomorrow evening until Thursday morning so I can have some breathing space from them all. A's promised that he'll do his best to sort it all out for when I get back if I do go back for a couple of days.
Reply 13
Is this going to be one of those 23 min episodes like friends, or a more serious 45 min episode, like 90210? I would prefer the latter please
Reply 14
Original post by edd360
Is this going to be one of those 23 min episodes like friends, or a more serious 45 min episode, like 90210? I would prefer the latter please


I think we'll probably aim for 30 minutes, it depends what the network will give us! :smile:
Reply 15
Once A and C settle their differences and come to some sort of comprimise, I can't forsee any problems.
Reply 16
... to sit on my throne as the Prince of Bel Air
I'd tell them to **** off smoking in the house, well smoking in their own rooms is fine, but in the dining room? no thanks, it's very hard to get rid of the smell without choking everyone out with air freshener. And I'm a smoker. That would make C happier.

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