The Student Room Group

Feeling left out

Hey I'm in my first year at uni living in halls and I've made loads of aquaintances but no proper friends. I feel like there's a group and while I spend time with them I'm not 'part of it'. They all know where they're gonna live next year and who with and I have no idea - I've asked but they weren't interested at all. I know there's nothing wrong with me OR them and it's just a personality mismatch, but I haven't met anyone whos 'my kind of person' - my friends all have groups who are the kind of people I'd hang out with but I just seemed to find myself in the middle of a group of people who don't share any of my interests. I don't know how to meet people and also I don't know how I'm going to find housemates but it's making me feel like there's something wrong with ME even when there's not, because I have tonnes of friends at home.
I also feel lonely, as you can probably understand.
I don't know what to do about it at all. I'm part of gaming society but anything we do there remains in the society and not outside it. Theres a general feel that the people you have in your accomodation are the people you'll be best friends forever with and If that's true then I'm basically screwed forever.
Wat do?
Reply 1



it helps me everytime
Reply 2
Original post by Prose Before Hoes
Get off of here and go out.

TSR will only isolate you further.


Go out where exactly - no one has anything planned. I do go out like I said, I spend time with people and we go out. Just don't have that 'knock on someones door and come in for a chat' friendship.
Reply 3
You will eventually meet people you click with but otherwise you have to put in the effort and find the right people.
Reply 4
Original post by dalo



it helps me everytime


Don't complain because there exist homeless people? Seriously? So I'm not allowed to ask for advice on a topic that I could do with some help because people have it worse than me? Cheers.
Reply 5
Original post by Broderss
You will eventually meet people you click with but otherwise you have to put in the effort and find the right people.


I don't want to give the impression I'm not giving it a good try. Honestly I don't want to come across as the angsty social 'outcast' who only does it to myself. Perhaps I should join MORE societies, but I just haven't met similar people to the people I properly get on with yet and I'm worried coz at this point haven't you met everyone you're gonna meet?
Join maybe 3 different clubs or societies (whatever takes your fancy), you're bound to meet people you get on with in one of the 3.
Reply 7
Similar thing happened to me, but i made a few friends on my course who i didn't know lived in my halls of residence and naturally through them i made other friends while out and about who also live around halls (and i'm still not that close with my flatmates), so don't worry too much i'm sure you'll be part of a tight group of friends soon enough.
Reply 8
Original post by Anonymous
I don't want to give the impression I'm not giving it a good try. Honestly I don't want to come across as the angsty social 'outcast' who only does it to myself. Perhaps I should join MORE societies, but I just haven't met similar people to the people I properly get on with yet and I'm worried coz at this point haven't you met everyone you're gonna meet?


I am still meeting people in my second year and should think I will continue to do so. From what I hear, long lasting friendships are only made in the second and third years and the majority of your first year friendships are almost meaningless in the long term.
Reply 9
Original post by Broderss
I am still meeting people in my second year and should think I will continue to do so. From what I hear, long lasting friendships are only made in the second and third years and the majority of your first year friendships are almost meaningless in the long term.


If that is true I will be so happy :P How do you choose who you live with though? Does this mean you change in your third year?
Reply 10
Original post by Anonymous
If that is true I will be so happy :P How do you choose who you live with though? Does this mean you change in your third year?


I live in Birmingham so went into halls again like many people do (no houses around here unless you want to travel 20+ minutes). You just have to not focus so much on making friends and you will naturally meet people you get on with and things should work themselves out from there.
Go with the flow.

Do the right thing.

Think outside the box.

Hope that helps.
Reply 12
Original post by Broderss
I live in Birmingham so went into halls again like many people do (no houses around here unless you want to travel 20+ minutes). You just have to not focus so much on making friends and you will naturally meet people you get on with and things should work themselves out from there.


I guess I do overthink it which turns people off, but when I'm comfortable but perhaps acting like like an arrogant douche (ironically of course) people seem to prefer it. It's like theyd rather I was myself and a bit random and a bit of an idiot than being uncomfortable and being really nice because i'm worried people won't like me.
Original post by Anonymous
Hey I'm in my first year at uni living in halls and I've made loads of aquaintances but no proper friends. I feel like there's a group and while I spend time with them I'm not 'part of it'. They all know where they're gonna live next year and who with and I have no idea - I've asked but they weren't interested at all. I know there's nothing wrong with me OR them and it's just a personality mismatch, but I haven't met anyone whos 'my kind of person' - my friends all have groups who are the kind of people I'd hang out with but I just seemed to find myself in the middle of a group of people who don't share any of my interests. I don't know how to meet people and also I don't know how I'm going to find housemates but it's making me feel like there's something wrong with ME even when there's not, because I have tonnes of friends at home.
I also feel lonely, as you can probably understand.
I don't know what to do about it at all. I'm part of gaming society but anything we do there remains in the society and not outside it. Theres a general feel that the people you have in your accomodation are the people you'll be best friends forever with and If that's true then I'm basically screwed forever.
Wat do?


I'm in a exactly the same situation. So paranoid that everyone I know will sort out their housing for next year without me and I'll be screwed! :frown:
Reply 14
Original post by pippa90
I'm in a exactly the same situation. So paranoid that everyone I know will sort out their housing for next year without me and I'll be screwed! :frown:


Don't wanna live in halls again either :s-smilie:
Original post by Anonymous
Don't wanna live in halls again either :s-smilie:


I can't, but even if I did and told all my new flatmates that I was in halls the year before they'd probably think that I'm a loser who can't make close friends, which it seems to be here at uni! :frown:

Quick Reply

Latest