Found out the guy I like smokes/takes the occasional pill on nights out...

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So I take it being with him outbalanced the fact it upset you when he took drugs? The last person I was with was practically tee-total so it was never an issue...but if it's going to bother me(even if I try not to let it etc) then I'm not sure. You can't help your feelings after all...

Well yeah, but like I said he's grown out of it now anyway. But we have got on amazingly since the moment we met so it would have been stupid to give up such an amazing relationship for something like that. We have very different tastes though so never go to nights out together, maybe if we did things would be different.

Reply 41

axhdn

Original post by jonski

I didn't agree with her?

you suggested that her viewpoint was in some way rational and not entirely based on fiction, so in a few ways you agreed with her. also your advice is not the best. there are facts of life, such as smoking, that some people need to accept, rather than be lead by fear. you can see the immaturity the op has as she approached the concept in a completely fearful way. theres a reason this guy does the occasional pill. its not cos hes a ticking time bomb. if he did it every weekend that would be a different story. he does it because its fun and safe to consume if done so responsibly. rationalising your fear on the basis of overdoses is just as paranoid. people with self control do not overdose. people who overdose do so because they have destructive personalities due to self esteem or other personal issues. had the drugs not been available they would have destroyed themselves by a different means. you cannot let the examples set by the weak govern your opinion on a certain topic. i bet you never thought to yourself, 'im not gonna try and get to uni because that homeless guy i saw on the street failed in life, therefore everybody fails at life and becomes homeless' have you? no! because it would be completely irrational and ridiculous and not a reflection of reality. but its also because you are set examples by the strong, like your family and your inspirations. you dont often hear about the guys that do drugs safely, because theres nothing to write about, no fear mongering story to spin. use your brains guys come on. and dont even get me started on cigarettes.

Reply 42

Anonymous #1

Original post by LemonKitty

Yeah this is the thing: we get on so well and I'm most content when I'm with him. But we do have different tastes, and sometimes that can be a positive thing but here it might end up being the opposite; and because we've been such close friends for so long I don't want to ruin it. Although we've come this far now can we ever go back to just being friends...sorry that's a whole other thing I'm thinking about :tongue:

Reply 43

emarosa

Eat toast. Toast solves everything (:

Reply 44

shadow99

Lies and more lies. If you stay with him then he will carry on smoking and popping the pills.

Reply 45

jolteon

you will resent him throughout the relationship and you will seek to change him. then he will resent you whether he tries to change or not [either he will feel as though you are dissatisfied with him or that you cannot simply love him for who he really is] and it will end badly.

Reply 46

Anonymous #1

Original post by jolteon

I think you're right, and I think I already knew this really :frown:

It's not really caused a problem but probably because we've been keeping it casual, as opposed to making a commitment.

Reply 47

Crazy Paving

Well can you live with it if he continues to do so? Or, do you think you have the power to get him off these?

Reply 48

jolteon

Original post by Crazy Paving

Well can you live with it if he continues to do so? Or, do you think you have the power to get him off these?

all women think they have the powar thats why it never works out. the second something is imperfect
the dream is over. and the resentment festers.

Reply 49

Crazy Paving

Ok then, OP. Do you actually have the power to get him off these? :nothing:

Reply 50

Euphoricia

Personally, I think its all a part of uni life. Going through the odd 1/8th of weed or 1/2g of MDMA is hardly anything to get worked up about so long as its recreational. These are no more damaging than alcohol

Richard

Reply 51

username47781

IF you ain't happy with what he does then don't go with him, if you want to try change him then it's up to you, but a lot of them won't change.

your point....is?

Original post by Vozhak

That is real heavy. for me that is a sure sign to leave i am sure you can find someone who loves you just as much and even more , but who is not a ticking time bomb. Unless you want to play Dr. Quinn Leave now while it is still early.

LOL, for you to describe someone who occasionally takes recreational drugs (and one that studies have shown to be one of the most harmless) and smokes whilst drinking as a "ticking time bomb" is actually quite funny.

Reply 54

Vozhak

Original post by adam_zed

Well Mr. Harmless did you read the rest of the studies that show that many (not all) people progress onto hard drugs from recreational ones???? Do you in some way know what is in this pill that is being described? are you aware that recent studies have shown that all it takes is one hit of meth or dust to cause permanent brain damage? occasional recreational drugs have lead to so many problems from HIV to unwanted kids to the mundane. Please, bad trips on shrooms and ex have lead to people committing murder. so educate yourself on narcotics and drugs before you "LOL" at me because your ignorance is showing ! :smile:

Reply 55

Drunk Punx

Original post by Anonymous

I was pretty shocked to be honest(more about the pill)! We had a very temporary thing ages ago and he did none of these things. I met him on a night out and he smokes whilst drinking(although when I said I didn't like it, said 'well put it this way, if I was around you more that would stop) - and told me he and his friends had taken a pill earlier in the night. I wouldn't have even noticed.

I really like him, he cares about me a lot and we get on well, and it's developing into something more now, but honestly that isn't my kind of thing at all, not to mention I want to kiss him but hate doing it when he smokes. It must be something he's just started doing because I've known him a long time and it seems recent. What would you do? :confused:

Many many people smoke and many take drugs. Why is it such a surprise to you that someone you know does it?
If you don't want to kiss him then don't, but don't try to change him just because you disapprove of something he does.

Reply 56

Drunk Punx

Original post by Vozhak

Lol.

You are aware that the "gateway drug" theory has been disproved many times, and is also completely subjective and therefore isn't so much the drugs' fault as it is the person using it... right?

Recent studies blah. Blah. Blah. Did you know that studies also show that there have been hardly any reported/documented cases on deaths from most hallucinogenics? PCP being an obvious exceptions, but that's PCP for you.

"occasional recreational drugs have lead to so many problems from HIV to unwanted kids to the mundane"
I smoke weed a lot. I don't have HIV or unwanted kids. I fact, I have a really good time whilst I'm off my tits. I laugh a lot, for instance. A deeply contemplate the universe.
Sure, I could do both of those things whilst sober, but weed helps to enhance the experience beyond the normal call of duty that sobriety would be able to produce.
I guess what I'm trying to say is... you chat a lot of bull-**** :yy:

"Please, bad trips on shrooms and ex have lead to people committing murder"

Source? Because as far as I'm aware, no-one has ever killed anyone while on shrooms. PCP, yes. Shrooms, mescaline, even LSD... no.

Reply 57

adam_zed

Original post by Vozhak

this has to be the most ridiculous post I have ever seen on TSR, maybe you could link me to these studies. the gateway hypothesis is a very flawed theory and is peddled by the same people who exaggerate the actual conclusion of studies that suggest prolonged and abusive marijuana use can cause mental illness. I didnt believe the OP to have made any use of "meth or dust". as for making the connection of HIV and unwanted kids? how ridiculous. alcohol also increases promiscuity and so do does more innocent stimuli such as hot weather. I suppose we must also boycott those holidays in hot countries in fear of STDs and unwanted children.

I no very little about shrooms so I will not address this (some wouldnt consider it a soft drug anway) but ecstasy causing murder? allow making stuff. dont be so patronising because it is clearly you who is wading in their own ignorance here!